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Thread: Help me with my toddler!!!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    47

    Default Help me with my toddler!!!!

    My 20mo old is laying on the floor screaming b/c I wont nurse her!!!!
    She has been up since 7am, nursing. My nipple is soo sore, I just cant anymore. I am trying to get her to eat breakfast and she just wants to nurse!!!! Or lay on the floor and scream!!!
    I am sooo tired with her right now!!! She is nursing twice as much as the newborn and I just dont know what to do. Someone please help. I dont want to wean her but I think she needs limits and to eat breakfast.

    I know its b/c I just had a baby but I am in tears and sooo frustrated.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
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    1,064

    Default Re: Help me with my toddler!!!!

    You must be feeling sooo overwhelmed! Do you have any friends or relatives around that can come help you out for awhile? It must be completely exhausting and emotionally draining having to take care of two babies with one so new. If someone could help you by playing with your toddler for awhile, or even taking her out for a special trip somewhere for a few hours, that would allow you to focus on the baby and maybe have some down time. It might also distract the toddler from being upset about the new baby and wanting to nurse. Or, if someone can hold the newborn for a bit you could have some time to dedicate only to your older one, which might help to settle her feelings a bit. When I started putting limits on my son's nursing (this was not with a new baby though), it helped to schedule particular times that he was allowed to nurse and tie them to events in the day. That way when I told him no, I could say when he would be able to nurse again and he understood. I made not very long to wait at first.

    Hang in there, and try to find someone to help you out!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    47

    Default Re: Help me with my toddler!!!!

    My grandma was here for the first week but I think she got bored sitting home with me and now she is at my moms. Sat. was my first day alone with both of them and it went good. Things are better now. I got her to eat some yogurt. Every time she opened her mouth to cry I put a spoon full of yogurt in her mouth. She eventally calmed downed and let me change her diaper. Then I let her nurse b/c she actually ate something and she passed out. Now she is alseep on the couch next to me!!! She was just tired from getting up so early. Usually when she gets up that early she will go back to sleep and she/we tried but the baby was distracting her.

    I really think she needs limits b/c she is nursing soooo much but I should probably wait a few weeks until things settle down.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    1,168

    Default Re: Help me with my toddler!!!!

    Heather, this has got to be such a difficult adjustment for all of you! It sounds to me like you are doing a wonderful job as a brand-new tandem-nursing momma! Hang in there!

    --Rebecca

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    1,551

    Default Re: Help me with my toddler!!!!

    Oh, you are both probably exhausted from all that this morning! I hope you are getting some rest while she does, too. It can be very intense, those first few weeks of tandem nursing. Part of you wants to honor their needs but part of you wants to catch a break. I remember being really worried about the older one - would he always ask to nurse so much and would he always get so upset if I said "no" or "later". Sometimes it can really feel like you don't know which way to turn/what to do! But it really does get easier as the weeks go by. Have you seen Adventures in Tandem Nursing by Hilary Flower? Did someone already recommend that to you?
    Hang in there!
    Mary

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    47

    Default Re: Help me with my toddler!!!!

    Thanks Mary, that is exactly how I feel. I have read Adventures...Doesnt really seem to talk about young toddlers and tademing, maybe I will read through it again today. Telling her no or later or distraction doesnt seem to work. She breaks into a temper tantrum anyway. The afternoon is going a lot better. She ate a good lunch and nursed for only a few min. and now she is playing good!!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    1,551

    Default Re: Help me with my toddler!!!!

    How about Mothering Your Nursing Toddler? I've got an older version here that has a chapter on tandem nursing as well as great support & info about toddler nursing/behavior. I bet the newer version has good info, too.
    Another idea that some mothers have found helpful is Larry Cohen's (author of Playful Parenting) idea of special time. This would be one-on-one time for you & your older dd. Games like chase and rumble-tumble floor time can really fill up the older one's tank. Some mothers even set a kitchen timer to give themselves "permission" to concentrate on just playing for a bit. It's amazing what even 15 minutes can do. My son's favorite was chase around the house. I would have the little one in a sling or sometimes she was in her swing-sleepy-thing or on my hip when she was older. It's still one of his favorite ways to recharge. But whatever it is that's your dd's favorite playful way of connecting with you might help ease this transition.

    Mary

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