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Thread: im ready to cry

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2006

    Default im ready to cry

    chase hasnt REALLY latched since he was only a few days (maybe a week) old. well i am now trying to get him to latch with a nipple shield. the nipple shield kept falling off, so i asked for advice on what to do. someone said to try putting lansinoh on so that the nipple shield would stick. well that worked until he pulled it off. then i got the shield in his mouth but he wont open wide enough to get any nipple in. i just dont know what to do. is it worth it if he wont latch or should i just give up? i am not going to give up until after our appointment on the fourth but i dont know if i can keep up with this much longer. i am just getting so tired of fighting with him to take the breast. i always cave when he starts crying and give him the bottle because i dont want to drive him into hating the breast. i do a lot of skin to skin contact to see if that will help but nothing. help!!!!! what should i do? tia

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2006

    Default Re: im ready to cry

    I know how you feel....

    Big <<<HUGS>>> to you mama!

    It's not easy when they are resistant! DS still won't latch (at least not willingly... he will he I hold him at the breast while he's screaming but I certainly don't want him to have those feelings toward the breast!!).

    It's tough but please remember that breastfeeding is about more than just milk. You can still have a close and physical bond without physically breastfeeding. It took me a looong time to figure that out. Feeding a baby is such a magical thing, even if it does come from a bottle. Once I learned that, alot of things changed for me (mentally and emotionally). Now, no one feeds DS but DH or I, because I believe that the bond one has while feeding (whether breast or bottle) is special and should be savored by the parents.

    Alot of times during the day, I feed DS on my bare chest. I hold him in a nursing position (cradle hold) on my bare breast. Now, he's in a phase where he has to be rocked to sleep this way while he 'nurses' on paci so I think we could be making some headway to maybe physical nursing.

    When you feed Chase, remember that no matter HOW you feed him, you're still tending to his needs. Kiss his head, rub his cheek and snuggle him close.

    I think finding that bond with DS is what relaxed me more so that HE could become comfortable with my breast. He loves to talk to my breast and drool all over it now. He likes to lay his head there and close his eyes. He's LEARNING that the breast equals comfort and happy feelings. And that's exactly what I want!

    Feeding is more than just providing food... It's about providing love, comfort, warmth and security. That can be done bottle or breast. I know I keep saying that but it's so very true and I wish I hadn't wasted 2 months of my relactation fixating on him physically nursing. Maybe if I had felt this way in the begining, he would be nursing now... Who knows?

    Keep your head up and know that no matter how everything turns out in the end, you fought the good battle for your child. He will love you for more than just breastfeeding... He'll love you because you loved and cared for him, in so many ways.

    In terms of the nipple shield, have you LC help you with that when you see her. There is a trick to making it easier (I have yet to have my LC help me with mine) so that the nipple is 'stuffed' in there.

    Oh and ANYTIME he latches, even if it's not deep enough to get your nipple, PRAISE HIM. Babies thrive on positive feedback! My DS LOVES to hear me say 'Yay! Great Job Caleb!! Good Boy!'... His face just lights up and he will continually do whatever it was that got him the praise... That's how I got him to latch briefly a month ago. Even if Chase just licks your nipple, chews on it, whatever... Praise him. Tell him how wonderful he is and how much you love him. Babies understand more than we know and they really do thrive on great feedback. And he'll relate the breast to making mommy happy and may be more willing in the long run.

    Sorry sor long... I just wanted you to know that I feel for you. I totally understand how you feel... It DOES get better... Just open your mind (and your heart) to the bigger picture of the 'breastfeeing bond'...

    Oh, and I gave up about 4 times in 2 months. It's okay to feel like you can't do it. It's okay to take time off. In the end, I always went back because I felt such a strong tie to what I am doing. Not everyone is that way but it's okay to get frustrated... Are you keeping a journal of things? If not, I recommend you do! That helped me heaps!

    Good luck and PM me anytime if you need advice or support.

    Keep up the good work mama! You are doing so awesome!

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