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Thread: Going Back To Work :(

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    38

    Default Going Back To Work :(

    This job just came to me. The bad thing is it is 7pm to 7am. Ds will be a year old on Wed. He is extremly attached to meand me to him. I need to know how to make this as less traumatic for him in such a short time period. He has NEVER stayed with a sitter. The longest I have ever been away from him was 2 hrs. Dh keep him. Which dh will be with him until 5:30am each day I work. It will be 3 to 4 days a week. It is a nursing position. I am really worried about him being traumatized. I know for me it will be unreal. We had decided I needed to go back and I had started looking for child care, but this fell in my lap today. How do I do this smoothly? Any ideas or suggestions. Man this is going to be so awful. I'm not sure who it will be worse on, me or him. Thanks in advance. Looking forward to all the answers.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3,900

    Default Re: Going Back To Work :(

    I'm at a loss for suggestions. I cannot imagine the range of emotions you're experiencing. (((hugs))) Congrats on the new job, and I do hope that you find a solution that works for you and your family.

    I'm moving this thread to working and breastfeeding in hopes that you will receive more helpful replies!

  3. #3

    Default Re: Going Back To Work :(

    All changes are hard, and take some adjusting, for everyone involved.

    You can try leaving some written ideas for DH to try when you're not there. Things you do to calm baby, things baby likes, things he doesn't. Having this list there may help DH when he's getting frustrated. If you carry baby in any type of carrier, make sure DH is confortable using it.

    Is your job the type that DH can bring baby to you if needed?

    Try leaving something at home that smells like you, for baby and daddy to cuddle with together.
    Shannon
    LLL Leader

    Protect your privacy online; don't use your full name. Click My Alias at the top left corner.

    I'm horrible at html and encoding links, so I apologize in advance for all the long links!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    65

    Default Re: Going Back To Work :(

    The first week or so is so hard. Just to clarify, is DH taking him to a babysitters so you can sleep after working 7P? I work 3-11 (also in nursing) and wish somedays he went to the sitters so I could sleep

    A couple suggestions. Believe in what you are doing for yourself, your baby and the people you care for. It's easier if I remember that working means that I am staying currrent in nursing/able to spend time with adults/able to appreciate the time I do have with DS, pumping at work means that I am commited to leaving my best for DS while I am at work (and gives me time to think about him) and nursing people back to health (yes, I know, an idealistic way of thinking which doesn't always sinc with what nursing really is!) is a good occupation.

    Some practical suggestions:

    decide when you will pump and when you will sleep. I never could decide how night shift would work, but I have a friend who does it and it seems to work for her. I guess if your DC is still eating through the night you will need to do both.

    Can you start with 2 7P's a week and then move up to 3? Will it work better to cluster them together and then have a long stretch off or to do every other? Do you need FT or can you stay at 3? I started with 3 8's one week and 4 the next and have just backed down to 3 a week b/c 4 was too much for me and we really didn't need the extra money. But not all jobs are as flexable as mine.

    Bonuses to working:
    1) DH and DS are SO much closer than they would have been otherwise.
    2) I truly treasure every minute I have with him (not to say that you don't now, but I noticed a big change after I went to work from before, and I considered myself atached before)

    Anyways, without knowing the age of your DC these are some ramblings (and I know I didn't touch on the seperation issue, but without knowing how old I couldn't really). Hugs to you! And I imagine it will be worse for you.

    ETA, just saw that your DS is 1 year, oops! Sorry! I don't have a 1 year old yet so no advice there...
    Last edited by elephantmargaret; September 23rd, 2006 at 06:58 PM.
    Margaret and
    DS 2/06 nursed x1yr
    and DD 3/08, so far so good!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    176

    Default Re: Going Back To Work :(

    Try if you can to focus on the positives. As the pp above said, this will give dh a chance to really bond w/ him. I had togo back when my son was 4 months old and my mom keeps him. It's very, very hard but at least you know he's w/ someone who really loves him. They'll have a closeness that they would not have had, and you'll still be his mommy.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    38

    Default Re: Going Back To Work :(

    Ds will be a yr old on Wed. He will go to babysitter until around 1 or 2 each day so I can sleep. Our biggest problem is night night. He still nurses a lot at night. I think most of it is comfort, but it is still atleast 4 times a night. Dh tried last night to see how it would work. He was up till 3:30am. Dh hubby tried everything, nothing worked. He brought ds in to me popped him on the milk milks and he was out. That is our big concern. Because dh has a full time job of course. He has only had a bottle maybe once in his life. This is really worrying me. I just don't know what to do. Ds is so attached to mommy, which I do love. That just increases the trauma though. Maybe I won the lottery last night and wont have to worry about it. LOL Thank you for your suggestions so far. They are great. Sorry I keep going on and on. I am just so worried about this.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    65

    Default Re: Going Back To Work :(

    My coworker that worked nights said that eventually here DS didn't wake up much when she was working (didn't smell her maybe?). My DH had to come up with his own way of getting DS to sleep. Maybe work on a bedtime routine that doesn't only include nursing. For example ours is: change diaper/put on pajamas/read 2 books. Turn lights low, turn on a lulabye and then either nurse if I'm home or a bottle if dad is. Then he's put into bed sleepy and goes to sleep. He did fuss for a few min the first few nights and if he's very sleepy he might still but it's working for us. But I know my DS is a lot younger and I went back to work at 12 wks so things were a lot different. I will say that the first week or so was awful for me and DH (and DS) but given a chance DH and DS developed their own routine. At a year he may be able to go to a sippy cup if he doesn't do well with a bottle. Is there any possiblility of another shift that might go better? 3-11 for example? Although DH and I don't have a lot of time together DS is only in daycare from 2:30-6 and I'm home at night.

    Hugs again
    Margaret and
    DS 2/06 nursed x1yr
    and DD 3/08, so far so good!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    38

    Default Re: Going Back To Work :(

    Oh I forgot to mention, there is another "little" problem. Ds has never sleep in a crib. I tried to get him in there a few months ago, but I could not handle the bloody murder screaming. I guess I am weak, but I just could not do that. I think we have pretty much decided, today, that if they can't put me on day shift that I just won't be able to do it. Dh just will not be able to cope with nights. Man this going back to work business is very stressful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    38

    Default Re: Going Back To Work :(

    Well, I went for my interview today. They are going to work me Fri and Sat nights. Oh how scary. I did think of another question. I am unable to pump, and there is no place there to pump if I could. So, what will my milk supply do with that?

  10. #10

    Default Re: Going Back To Work :(

    Several random thoughts here...

    If you were in the house, and DH was trying to put the baby to sleep, but the baby somehow knew you were in the house, he could have been holding out for you. Once you're not there, things may be different. Many, many mothers have found that their baby won't take a bottle at all if they are in the house anywhere! However, once they are gone, baby settles in just fine. So, things may be different once you're back at work.

    Even if you can't pump at work, you'll probably still find that you need to express at least a little bit of milk, for your own comfort. Get familiar with hand expression. http://www.lactationinstitute.org/MANUALEX.html If you can, save whatever you express to feed your baby later.

    You can also pump or manually express milk when you are with your baby, to provide some of your milk when you can't be there.

    Since it's only two days, you should be able to go back to nursing on the nights that you're together with little problem. Your supply shouldn't be impacted much at all.
    Shannon
    LLL Leader

    Protect your privacy online; don't use your full name. Click My Alias at the top left corner.

    I'm horrible at html and encoding links, so I apologize in advance for all the long links!

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