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Thread: Feeling bad, getting annoyed with nursing

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2008

    Default Feeling bad, getting annoyed with nursing

    My LO is nearly 3 and still nurses a lot. I've had my moments, but was happy to wait for him to self wean, that is until recently when I've started to resent it a lot of the time. At some point, I always thought I'd aim to wean him for my 40th birthday, so I could properly let my hair down. It got closer and closer and he was showing no signs of needing it less, and I didn't want to push it, so I let it carry on and was happy with that until about 2 weeks before my birthday when I decided to night wean. We loosely followed the Dr Jay Gordon method and after a rough first couple of nights, it went fine, though he still wakes and needs to cuddle or hold my boobs to get back to sleep. He'll last until about 5 am, after which I give him free reign again. On my birthday, I actually refused mummy milk for 24 hours as celebrated a bit too much and wanted to make sure my milk was OK before letting him have any. He was absolutley fine with this (told him mummy's didn't have milk on their birthdays as it was their day off!), and we had lots of cuddles and he was distracted all day as we were away with a group of friends. The trouble is, I've had a taste of freedom now, and was kind of hoping he'd realise that he didn't need it as much. This hasn't happened and he's been straight back on as much as he can get away with. It's his default option for everything, and would still probably rather have mummy milk than food (unless it was cake or chocolate!). I'm finding that I'm getting annoyed with him a lot, which is making me really sad as I don't want it to end horribly. Has anyone else been here and got through it, or do I just need to negotiate with him to wean and be done with? I'm so tired as he's never STTN, I work in the evenings, plus I'm hypothyroid and I feel like I'm always snapping at him, usually when he's demanding to nurse. Since I started working evenings, he now happily goes to sleep on his own at bedtime with his daddy, so it's a start. But him self weaning completely still seems such a long way off. He's always been high need and needs a lot of attention, but he's now such a happy, confident little boy that I know we've done the right thing by him, it's just at the moment I feel completely touched out and need to find the right balance so that things don't end on a bad note. I would really appreciate any advice comments for anyone who's managed to keep going this long.

  2. #2

    Default Re: Feeling bad, getting annoyed with nursing

    Well, I certainly know that feeling of annoyance -- my son nursed like a newborn for over 2 years (literally every 1-2 hours, 24 hours a day) and there have definitely been times when I felt like crawling out of my skin and walking away.

    My personal take on it is that nursing, especially nursing a toddler, is a relationship with two very active participants. And both participants have a right to have their needs heard and valued, in order to (if needed) compromise and achieve a balance that works for everyone. What we have done is talk A LOT about nursing -- when I feel comfortable doing it, when I don't; when he wants it, why he wants it; how one day -- not today, not tomorrow, but someday, we won't do it anymore, etc. I take any opportunity I can to talk with him about it -- to express myself and also encourage him to understand and express his feelings about it. Sometimes I nurse him when I don't feel like it, and sometimes he doesn't get to nurse when he wants to, but we both always know that an acceptable compromise has been achieved, because we talk about it.

    It's tempting to passively wait for a child to self-wean, but sometimes that isn't an acceptable option. By communicating through the process, I believe we set the stage for communicating through the many experiences in life when our perspectives are not quite the same.
    Mama to Lorenzo, born 4/25/2007. NICU graduate, Gastro-Esohapgeal Reflux, Obstructive Sleep Apnea, Sensory Processing Disorder...alive and thriving thanks to breastfeeding and co-sleeping.

    Those who say it can't be done should not interrupt the person doing it.
    Chinese Proverb

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2006

    Default Re: Feeling bad, getting annoyed with nursing

    DS nursed until he was 3.5 and I was really not into it for the last year. I also didn't want things to end on a bad note. He decided on a weaning party and came up with nursing for 3 more days after that point. Those three days I was able to relax, let him nurse a bit more, and enjoyed the end.
    DS 1/2006 9 lb. 2 oz. 22 in.
    DD 10/2008 8 lb, 2 oz. 20 in.

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