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Thread: Losing the bond

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    8,018

    Default Re: Losing the bond

    Oh, Paige. Thank you so much for sharing. I know I benefit greatly from your perspective and struggles. As pp said, it make me cherish what I have, esp. when I start to get frustrated with night nursing a 21 month old.
    I'm sure you and D will continue to redevelop your bond! As you know I weaned my DS at about 6 months (and I had no good reason!) but he and I are still wonderfully bonded. I know it isn't the same, but I know things we did that helped our bond were having a special book, a special song, and daily routines that expressed our love and special relationship.

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    4,007

    Default Re: Losing the bond

    Thank you for sharing Paige. You write so beautifully. D is very lucky to have you as his mama
    ~Jenn~


    mother of 2 boys!
    08/14/98~~03/20/08

    Birth: 7lbs 12oz, 1 year: 22lbs 11oz
    until he self-weaned 4 days before his third birthday ... still on occasion ... and happily

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
    People need to understand that when they're deciding between breastmilk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available. ~Chele Marmet

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Toronto, Canada
    Posts
    2,339

    Default Re: Losing the bond

    Thank you for sharing this Paige.

    You are a wonderful mother, with or without nursing. I am treasuring my nursing time with Roxie. It's fleeting whether it lasts six months or three years, yk?

    ETA: Gosh I just re-read that and it sounds insensitive.. I guess what I'm trying to say is that nursing is something that I have taken for granted, and I think I am going to wonder where the time went when she decides to wean. I know I'll miss it and I can't imagine having it taken from me. You are a strong mother and an inspiration to any of us who have wondered what we would do without the "easy fix" of nursing.
    Last edited by @llli*jessruff; December 17th, 2009 at 03:20 PM.
    Jess

    Mama to my little Roxie Roo, 06/11/08


    April miles for TBTTW: 63

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    1,769

    Default Re: Losing the bond

    Paige - this was so well written - D is really lucky to have you as a mom I am sure it will just have to come with time, but you will figure it out and reconnect with him - it will be different, but you will get there.

    And when he start teething or get sick or gets a little bump, you will figure it out and he will know that you are his mom and you will be there to comfort him

    I also wonder how formula moms think it is easier to formula feed than nurse
    Last edited by @llli*lorders; December 17th, 2009 at 03:25 PM.
    DS-11/06- known IGE allergies to dairy, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, beef, lamb, duck, amaranth, mustard and more...
    Outgrew pork, oats, soy, chickpeas, peas, turkey, chicken, shellfish and wheat. He has now outgrown more than half his food allergies

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Oh FFS!
    Posts
    10,008

    Default Re: Losing the bond


    Mama to my little Diva: Miss K (7/15/06)
    And her little sister: Lulu Pie (3/21/09)

    "Don't toush da mango"
    One-handed typer Extraordinaire!
    My body creates, houses, nurtures and nourishes life. That is awesome.
    Kegel Kop says: TIGHTEN UP!

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    2,393

    Default Re: Losing the bond

    Paige, thank you for sharing your experiences with us. I agree wholeheartedly about nursing and the bond. You are a strong and amazing mommy. You gave him and continue to give him more than you will ever know. You have always inspired me. That little guy is going to be all about his mommy

    Kathryn,
    Mama to my sweet blueberry eyed boy Joshua
    born on 11/2/2006

    and my blueberry eyed baby Jonah Henry...my water birth baby!
    born on 6/15/09



    MOBY WRAPS ROCK

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    1,081

    Default Re: Losing the bond

    Wow, your words are so honest and touching. Thanks for sharing.

    And I agree with Shannon - you are mothering him how he needs you to, you are awesome mama!
    Mommy to:

    Emmalynn Marie
    Born at 37 weeks on 12/22/06
    5lbs 1oz 19 1/2in

    Owen Charles
    Born at 29 wks 6 days on 01/17/09
    2lbs 14oz 15in
    In NICU for 2 months


  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    2,552

    Default Re: Losing the bond

    Paige, your post made me cry.

    My experience is a bit different because I had to pump for Lance rather than feed him directly from the breast. I do feel like it made it hard for me to bond with him for awhile and he preferred daddy since he was home with him all day too. However, we did bond very well with time and we are very close now.

    You are such a great mom and I'm sure that your bond with him will be as strong as ever.

    As far as mothering without nursing, I know you will figure it out. Lance took teething very hard, but even without nursing we figured out how to make him feel better and be there for him when he needed it.
    Beth

    Exclusively pumped for Lance Oct 07
    Nursed until just before he turned 3 Levi Oct 09

    Do you have extra milk? Consider donating!
    http://www.hmbana.org/:

    "So I was welcomed by the consolations of human milk; but it was not my mother or my nurses who made any decision to fill their breasts, but you who through them gave me infant food, in accordance with your ordinance and the riches which are distributed deep in the natural order." -St Augustine

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    SoFL
    Posts
    6,237

    Default Re: Losing the bond

    i didn't expect this post to make me cry, but it did. D needs you paige, you are his mommy. nothing ever takes the place of mom, whether you are bf or ff.
    Lisa
    Married to my Sugar Daddy
    Mom to Matt (5/14/97)
    James (11/8/06)
    Kelly Anne (3/14/08)
    Paul (3/11/10)

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8,272

    Default Re: Losing the bond

    that was beautifly written and I appreciate your honesty. I'm glad to hear that you are figuring out other ways to have a special bond.
    Lynn
    DS1: bf 7/2006 -> 4/2009; multiple food allergies
    DS2: bf 9/2009 -> ???
    ; multiple food allergies
    Breastmilk Donor - http://hmbana.org/index/donatemilk
    Click HERE to learn about baby led solids (BLS) / baby led weaning (BLW)

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