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Thread: Milk has all gone but dd (4) still wants to breastfeed

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    11

    Default Milk has all gone but dd (4) still wants to breastfeed

    (Sorry it's so long, I'm copying it from another forum where somebody suggested I ask here for help)

    Does anyone have any advice to get my milk back, or is this how weaning is
    supposed to happen? dd gradually, over the years, reduced down to two feeds
    a day, one before nap and one before bed. We dropped the afternoon nap about
    6 weeks ago, so she just has the bedtime feed now. She is still doing this,
    but for the last few nights has been sad and told me there is no milk. She
    tells me she last got some milk at her grandad's house, over the summer -
    once (and I remember this clearly, it was mid morning and we were both wide
    awake). She has told me there was no milk on other occasions, and I took it
    with a pinch of salt as she was still so keen to nurse.....

    But now it really does seem that it has gone. Maybe I haven't had milk for a
    couple of months, or even longer - I can't really know. I don't understand
    why it's gone, and I can't help feeling that I have let her down. She seems
    really sad at the point where we nurse (after books and before lights out).
    The last few nights I have gently encouraged her to try, and she is still
    falling asleep on the breast, but if there's really no milk this is a bit
    pointless. (she has said this - I commented that she seemed to enjoy it even
    if there isn't any milk, but she shook her head). Yet she still does do it.

    Last night she wanted to cuddle my breast, she's never done that before.
    She's also started to ask me for a back scratch after we finish the
    books.....so it's as if she is asking for me to replace the breastfeeding
    with other comforts.

    In the daytime she seems fine, well, the same as always......she is quite a
    firey little girl, but actually a lot calmer lately as other things in life
    have settled down.

    I think she will "cope" if we stop breastfeeding now, but I also think it
    would be hugely beneficial for her if we were able to continue. It seems to
    me that she has resigned herself to stopping purely because there is no
    milk, not because she *wants* to stop. I'm certain that if I had abundant
    milk she would be nursing frequently. On odd occasions over the past few
    months she has cried out, "oooh, I got some milk!!" and been really excited
    and happy. Her latch, I should say, has been poor for a long time, so this
    is probably why my supply has dwindled.

    I suppose it seems as though she isn't choosing to wean, it's happening to
    her. To me it feels as though the dream of letting her self wean has been
    snatched away from us. But I want to do what's best for her now. If I can't
    get my milk back then I need to help her transition happily, but if I can
    get it back then I do think that would be the ideal. I don't want to put her
    through a long period of false hope though, on some small chance that things
    might change.....

    Any thoughts? Any guaranteed ways to re-start a milk supply?

    Oh, I should say, she is actually 3, but has her 4th birthday in just a few
    weeks time.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18,063

    Default Re: Milk has all gone but dd (4) still wants to breastfeed

    could somebody else put her to bed for a short period?
    MAybe a week or so, and I bet she would be fine with weaning.

    I would just say look the milk is all gone right? And your hurting mommy.


    my dd weaned at that age, and the last few times were sad for her.
    But she didn't have lots of tears or fussing.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    11

    Default Re: Milk has all gone but dd (4) still wants to breastfeed

    Thanks. I'm not really looking for ways to wean her though, the issue is more that she still wants milk, and I would like her to have that option....unless I am misreading things and actually this IS her way of saying she no longer wants to breastfeed.

    If that makes sense? I want her to self wean, not have to stop before she's really ready to.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18,063

    Default Re: Milk has all gone but dd (4) still wants to breastfeed

    you could try and hand express or pump some. IT doesn't sound like you are forcing her to stop.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    11

    Default Re: Milk has all gone but dd (4) still wants to breastfeed

    Thanks for your answers. I don't feel as though anything is going to work to be honest, at only one feed a day I doubt we can increase feeding enough to stimulate a supply. And I don't think I could go to the doctor for domperidone with a 4 year old.....

    To answer the point about forcing her to stop, no I'm not, but the lack of milk is. And the lack of milk doesn't feel "right", or "natural".

    I guess I was just looking for some magical kind of answer, but I know deep down there isn't one. I appreciate you taking the time to reply.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    11

    Unhappy Re: Milk has all gone but dd (4) still wants to breastfeed

    Yes. Thank you for understanding.

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