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Thread: Support? What support?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
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    Angry Support? What support?

    Hi everyone, I've posted a couple of times in the pumping forum but not here. This is something of a rant, I hope that's all right.

    To cut a long story short, I don't breastfeed my 5 week old son anymore due to pain from a bad latch- despite having been told he's on perfectly. He gets milk and formula, sadly, and I really want to be able to stop pumping and giving him formula. A breastfeeding advisor was supposed to comd and see me but she and her colleague were on holiday or sick or both, I don't remember.

    Today I went to a breastfeeding support group a couple of towns away. This was a major undertaking for me, 5 weeks post-caesarean, probably shouldn't be driving if I'm honest, definitely shouldn't be carrying a car seat... but I was desperate. And as you all know it's not easy to go anywhere with a little one anyway. I deliberately didn't feed my son before we went so he would be awake and wanting to be fed when we got there.

    When we I there, son in sling, the receptionist told me there was no one to lead the group as the woman was away somewhere! And that I could use the room but I'd be on my own! Use the room? For what? I can't breastfeed, this is why I am here, because I am desperate! I just cried and walked out.

    I'm so hacked off beyond words. How hard can it be to have got a replacement? This wasn't a mother and toddler coffee morning social, this was a group for desperate women wanting to feed their babies!

    I feel worse than defeated. It's like the world just does not want my son to be fed the way I want him to be. Angry, upset, let down... I was so looking forward to just being able to feed him

  2. #2
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    Jun 2009
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    Default Re: Support? What support?

    I'm so sorry. Have you looked to see if there is a La Leche League near you? You can call the leaders and see if they can help you.

    Will they be open next week?
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Support? What support?

    oh goodness momma, you have been through a lot. No wonder you feel exhauseted and defeated. I want to tell you though that it's not too late to have a successful breastfeeding relationship with your son. Many mommas on this forum have gone through several problems and still continued to breastfeed to a year and beyond so I know you can do this!!

    To better help you tell us some more info please. About your latch, I'm wondering what does your nipple look like after DS is done eating? When he comes off the breast from a feed does your nipple look normal or does it look elongated like a lipstick?

    What is the pain like? Is it during the whole feed? Is it when he latches? Does it ever go away while feeding or is it constant? Is it deep in the breast or is it coming from where your baby latches?

    There are solutions to your challenges. Breastfeeding is natural but it doesn't come easy for the majority of us. Hang in there. You can still nurse your baby. There is a lot of help here. Hands on help is the best but until you can get that hang on and let us try to help!
    Jen - mom to 3
    DD who I FF
    I survived 10 painful mastitis infections and managed to nurse DS1 till he was 3 years and 7 months
    and now DS2 4 years now working on gentle weaning and


    "Pride is one of the seven deadly sins; but it can not be the pride of a mother in her children, for that is a compound of two cardinal virtues - faith and hope." Charles Dickens

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Support? What support?

    Also, is the latch and pain the only challenges you are having or do you feel like there are other things too? Please explain other challenges you are having if any.
    Jen - mom to 3
    DD who I FF
    I survived 10 painful mastitis infections and managed to nurse DS1 till he was 3 years and 7 months
    and now DS2 4 years now working on gentle weaning and


    "Pride is one of the seven deadly sins; but it can not be the pride of a mother in her children, for that is a compound of two cardinal virtues - faith and hope." Charles Dickens

  5. #5
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    Nov 2009
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    Default Re: Support? What support?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*proudmamaof3 View Post

    To better help you tell us some more info please. About your latch, I'm wondering what does your nipple look like after DS is done eating? When he comes off the breast from a feed does your nipple look normal or does it look elongated like a lipstick?

    What is the pain like? Is it during the whole feed? Is it when he latches? Does it ever go away while feeding or is it constant? Is it deep in the breast or is it coming from where your baby latches?
    Argh, just realised I posted this in the wrong forum. I am rubbish!

    It's like a lipstick. I know it's all wrong but I've never been able to get him to open his mouth right up.
    http://forums.llli.org:80/showthread.php?t=79716

    And of course it's even harder now he's had a bottle even though we try to do the nose to nipple thing.

    The pain isn't as bad now as it was, but then I don't feed him myself much. It was only in the nipple, it was like it was being cut. Like feeding a piranha or putting my nipple in a guillotine. It was unbearable. The pain was only during feeding, I was just sore afterwards of course. My nipples would bleed and bits would drop off It was constant while he was sucking but before he could finish I couldn't ever take anymore and would take him off. The worst was when midwives would take him off. I think there's not enough nipple in his mouth at all- I think his gums are almost shut over my nipple that's why you have to get your finger between his gums. The midwives would only put their finger between his lips before pulling him off so I was in agony.

    There is another (different) group closer to home on Wednesdays so hopefully we will have more luck there.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Support? What support?

    Oh Mama.

    It's so hard when the people who are supposed to be there to help you are suddenly flaking out all over the place.

    Have you explored the possibility of tongue-tie? It really sounds like the issue is a shallow latch, and tongue-tie can prevent the baby from ever achieving a good latch.

    Hang in there, Mama! This is the hardest job in the world, bar none.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  7. #7
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    Nov 2009
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    Default Re: Support? What support?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*proudmamaof3 View Post
    Also, is the latch and pain the only challenges you are having or do you feel like there are other things too? Please explain other challenges you are having if any.
    At first I was having trouble with comfortable positioning after the caesarean section but that's not so much of a concern now. Generally he does eat a lot and I can't get enough for one feed in less than 3 pumping sessions but apart from that all would be well.

  8. #8
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    Nov 2009
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    Default Re: Support? What support?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommal View Post
    It's so hard when the people who are supposed to be there to help you are suddenly flaking out all over the place.
    Tell me about it!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommal View Post
    Have you explored the possibility of tongue-tie? It really sounds like the issue is a shallow latch, and tongue-tie can prevent the baby from ever achieving a good latch.
    No one who's examined him has ever mentioned it to me. But he can stick his tongue out over his bottom lip- does that mean it's all right?

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Support? What support?

    Is he a smaller baby? Maybe his mouth is very little still. As he grows it will open wider. Small comfort there though I bet!

    With my newborns to get them to open wider I would quickly do two things when they would open to latch.

    Now this does take practice b/c you have to be quick but it's doable.

    First prop the baby in your lap with a few pillows or blankets or whatever you need to get him raised to your breast level b/c this usually takes two hands till you get good at it.

    Then this is how I would latch them on to make sure they got a good mouthfull of areola:

    1. Hold breast in opposite hand (left hand on right breast for example) with thumb facing up on the outer edge of the areola. Gently pinch the area to compress it and make the area flattend or in essence a little smaller.

    2. Tickle baby's mouth or cheek while holding areola in this shape and when they open quicly shove as much as you can of your nipple in their mouth and let go. When you let go your nipple will open back up and force baby's jaw to expand with it. If this doesn't totally work do the steps again and use free hand to quickly push down on his chin while shoving a big mouthfull of areola in his mouth. Keep trying, the timing need practice to get down but you can do it!

    Make sure you hold baby close like you said, nose to nipple, so that they can't slip off.

    Then once you think you have him latched then gently slide your arms underneath him if you want or you can keep him on the pillow.

    Breathe! Keep seeking help you can do it!

    Hope that helps
    Jen - mom to 3
    DD who I FF
    I survived 10 painful mastitis infections and managed to nurse DS1 till he was 3 years and 7 months
    and now DS2 4 years now working on gentle weaning and


    "Pride is one of the seven deadly sins; but it can not be the pride of a mother in her children, for that is a compound of two cardinal virtues - faith and hope." Charles Dickens

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
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    Default Re: Support? What support?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*proudmamaof3 View Post
    Is he a smaller baby? Maybe his mouth is very little still. As he grows it will open wider. Small comfort there though I bet!
    Thanks for all that! I will give it a go.

    No, he was a good birthweight at 8lb 10oz and I estimate him now to be closer to 11 at 5 weeks today. His mouth doesn't sound little

    Forgive my short reply to your long post, my partner's back so I have to do some washing so our son can have a fluffy bum

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