Shelly, you are right on with "allowed to fail". I told DH I wasn't using permission to fail as an excuse to give up. I discovered just how subversive much of society and the medical community are when it comes to breastfeeding. Having proper support from the outset would help prevent some of the problems we encounter.
I realize now that in the dark of the night, encouragement and advice on a message board can make all the difference.