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Thread: Question-Dad's opinion?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2009

    Default Question-Dad's opinion?

    Hi Ladies,

    I was just curious if your significant others had some notion of how long you were going to nurse your child and had an opinion about you exceeding that time? If so, did their mind change when they got to that preconceived quitting time?

    My husband told me he thought that I would stop when Lilah is around 15 months old. I am not really sure why he thought that and he doesn't have a reason other than that is what he thought...


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2008

    Default Re: Question-Dad's opinion?

    My SO felt like 1 year was more than enough, and has been bringing up since then the question of when I'm going to wean our son. I told him I thought by the time he was 3. He absolutely feels like anything beyond the second birthday is unacceptable, and actually doesn't really like that we're still nursing now at 21 months, but he (angrily) admits that he has virtually no say in it. I do try to take his feelings into account, but this is between our son and me, ultimately. Sometimes I wonder if it's wrong to make this call without his consent, but I really don't think his feelings should override our son's feelings in this. In stuff that concerns my SO, yes, but if it doesn't? I don't know.

    25 May 96 and 14 January 08 and 27 February 2012

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2006

    Default Re: Question-Dad's opinion?

    DH only started questioning when we were already slowly weaning. I never discussed how long I'd nurse, so he was just wondering more than anything. He was surprised that we already were in the weaning process. I kind-of did it backwards and weaned the day nursings before the night nursings. Those seemed most important to DS. As of now, DS is going 3-4 days without nursing and he is 20 months old. I never set a time on our nursing, I just knew we'd have to play it day by day. The time has come and we are both ready and DH is okay with that.
    Our blessings from God!
    Kylee was born September, 2006 - 9 lbs. 12 1/2 oz, 21 inches long.
    Kiefer was born January, 2008 - 6 lbs. 14 oz, 19 1/2 inches long.
    He was diagnosed with a severe peanut allergy at 12 1/2 months old. Others later discovered.
    And I am even more blessed by being married to my best friend and the most honorable man I've ever known.

    "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world." - Abraham Lincoln

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2006

    Default Re: Question-Dad's opinion?

    I just bumped a long thread about a mama who had trouble with a DH who wanted her to stop bfing their 1 yr old.

    My DH wanted me to stop at one year with DD1 and it was the source of many arguments. We were able to work through it, though. My approach was to "get to the bottom" of it-why, specifically, does he want you to stop? And if any of his concerns are valid, how can you address them constructively together?

    What is it with some guys and thinking there have to be set time limits?

    ETA: Oh, and he hasn't said a word about me weaning DD2. He's practically a lactivist now.


    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2009

    Default Re: Question-Dad's opinion?

    Thanks Molly. I remember reading that before. I wonder how it turned out. I don't plan on weaning and I don't think that my husband will start making any noise about it, but we'll see. I think his main issue is the sleeping, since Lilah is on the all-night-nurser end of the spectrum. However, I have seen some improvement in her night wakings in recent weeks and I'm guessing by the time she's 15 months old or so she'll probably be waking less than she does now.

    I'm just curious how it is for other moms. I was actually surprised that my husband even had an opinion because I don't really consider it his business, but he is her father and loves her too.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2008

    Default Re: Question-Dad's opinion?

    Mine said something before about "only having to BF til 1" then I schooled him on the benefits of "extended" BF and CLW, (for me and DD). He hasn't said another word about it. He feels that if she likes it and it's good for her - do it
    Proud mom of 2:
    DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
    DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

    Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2006

    Default Re: Question-Dad's opinion?

    My dh doesn't really care he consideres it one less thing he has to pay for.. when my second was about 18 months he was hinting that maybe she could sleep less with us so he could have more time with me.. but that was about it..
    Wife to T
    Mother to 4 crazy ones

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2007

    Default Re: Question-Dad's opinion?

    My DH teases me that Logan will call me from elementary school so I can go in for a quick nursie on the playground.

    But really he doesn't care. He knows it's really not his 'nursing' relationship. It's between my son and I.

    However, I have told him I think my limit is going to be 3 and he was okay with that.

    Mommy to
    Logan 5-23-07
    Colby 12-14-09

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Toronto, Canada

    Default Re: Question-Dad's opinion?

    DH hasn't said anything. In my family it's the norm to nurse beyond two and practice CLW, so he's used to it. I love that he has come so far. His entire family is about formula and bottles, and now he's even a bit of a lactivist.. Nothing but the best for his girl.

    Mama to my little Roxie Roo, 06/11/08

    April miles for TBTTW: 63

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Ontario, Canada

    Default Re: Question-Dad's opinion?

    We hit 1 year a little over a week ago! I do take DH's feelings into account. However, he has to give me valid reasons other than just "because". Although, his feelings alone, are valid.

    I've never really set out to BF for XX amount of time. Our experience is just evolving as it naturally is for us. That being said, we're going to start trying again for another baby soon. With my age (37, 38 in December) I'm worried about delays affecting my fertility (we haven't decided if we're stopping at 2 or if we want 3, so I don't have the time to "see if it affects us" or not).

    DH trusts that I'm doing what's best for our LO. If he wants to know, he asks. Most times, he doesn't want to know, he just assumes I'm right.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!

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