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Thread: my first post - question about being away from 23 mo nursling

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
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    Default my first post - question about being away from 23 mo nursling

    I have the opportunity to visit a life long friend in Europe this winter. LO will be 23.5 months at the time. Currently she is still BF 3-4x a day. I had always wanted to BF to 2 years - this trip if it happened, would be a few weeks shy of that. I don't think I want to tandem nurse, and I plan to TTC probably next spring/summer. Was thinking of starting in the winter when she turned 2, but thought it would be nice to delay a bit to give her more time to BF w/out me being PG, and more time for her to self wean. Also would be nice to not have another winter baby - and then there is a family event in L.A. in Aug. that I'd like to go to non-pg. So I could start TTC as late as next Aug., meaning LO would have plenty of more time to nurse and self wean after turning 2. (another 6 months).

    So that leaves me torn - do I
    a) pass up on the opportunity, and just try to make the trip another time - of course would be a long time coming if I will have another nursling for at least 2 years after a 9 month pregancy.

    b) wean her before leaving - which isn't that short of my 2 year goal, and she's old enough, and at the rate she is going, I dont' think she will self wean Any time soon on her own without help anyway or

    c) I try to cut back some sessions to get us down to 1-2 a day, go anyway, and will she nurse again when I get home from a week away? Will I have any milk left? i can't imagine taking my big pump to Europe and trying to pump a few times a day while visiting! I also worry if we are still nursing a few times a day, that I will get totally engorged and uncomfortable. At the rate things are going, I dont' see much change happening unless I initiate. Current sessions are at wakeup, mid-morning, post afternoon nap, and bedtime. She is starting to maybe drop the mid-morning session - if we are out and about - on daycare days (3x a week) she obviously doesn't get this session. So I by Dec. I could definately be down to 3x a day. I could probably push to 2x a day by then. Is this enough to go away for a week? and

    d) make no changes, go anyway, and again same questions about pumping while away and engorgement.

    I know it's a little early, but a trip like this I can't plan last minute, though I"d love to wait and see where we are at.
    Last edited by @llli*sbf2003; September 15th, 2009 at 11:18 AM.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: my first post - question about being away from 23 mo nursling

    Can't she go with you?
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  3. #3
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    Aug 2009
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    Default Re: my first post - question about being away from 23 mo nursling

    Possibly, but it would be a Long plane ride, 3x more expensive if DH, her and I all go vs. just me, and I plan to go skiing and would have to leave her w/ a stranger to her, not even sure who, and not sure if they'd speak English. Thought it might be easier on her, and me if I went alone. But that option is there too. Make that option E)

    Editing to add - the travel time would be a Lot - internal flight in the US or 5 hour drive, then overnight flight to Scandanavia (from the east coast), then ground travel of at least an hour once on the ground. That doesn't sound fun for anyone involved!
    Last edited by @llli*sbf2003; September 15th, 2009 at 11:09 AM.

  4. #4
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    Oct 2008
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    Default Re: my first post - question about being away from 23 mo nursling

    If you can afford it, taking her would be a great option! Then you don't have to a) wean before SHE's ready b) wean before you're ready c) keep going as you are going and hope that she'll do fine with no nursing for a week which would be pretty rough for her IMO, plus if you do take an electric pump with you to Europe keep in mind we run on different voltage over here so you'd not only be looking at plug adapters, but voltage adapters too.

    I am an American living in England so I do my fair share of transatlantic travel, and have done it twice so far with my almost 14 month old...it can be done.

    If all of you going isn't an option, hopefully others will chime in with some useful advice.
    Mama of two precious girls
    DD1 born 23 July 2008 and
    DD2 born 14 January 2010

  5. #5
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    Default Re: my first post - question about being away from 23 mo nursling

    I think we cross posted as I was editing above - if it was just straight to England I might be more excited about the idea - I think I have to get up to NYC first from the DC area, then to Helsinki, which would be about an 8 hour flight but getting in at like 2 am our time, and then ground travel of about an hour + once we get there. And the babysitting issues for when we ski, which I assume would only be one day. This is doable for sure, but thought it might be easier on her and I if I went alone. I am just unsure right now which will be harder on her - the crazy travel, or being away from me. She is changing so fast it's hard to know where we will be 4 months from now.

    The trip isn't definite - I can always say no, and may still - but part of me thinks I should not play my life so safe and find a way to make it work before I have another baby and it is even harder to go, or miss out on the opportunity all together.

  6. #6
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    Oct 2008
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    Default Re: my first post - question about being away from 23 mo nursling

    Ah, gotcha. Hmm, depending on flight times it may still work - the flight going to Europe is usually the "easy" one since it's typically an overnight flight so babies (and everyone else!) tend to just sleep anyway. It's morning at your European destination when you land, so if everyone manages to get some sleep on the flight over then it's pretty much just like waking up in the morning any other day.

    My journey from the US looks like this -
    4 hour drive to Denver airport
    10 hour flight to London
    2.5 hour drive to Birmingham

    Total travel time - nearly 17 hours without counting check in and immigration/customs on arrival. We all lived to tell the tale! Have also done the DEN-Frankfurt, Germany-Birmingham route but would not wish that on anyone.

    Travel back to the US is slightly trickier, but still manageable.

    Not trying to pressure you, just saying that it's totally doable if you decide to go that route. As for the skiing issue, maybe you and DH could ski in "shifts" while the other entertains DD at the lodge?

    I hope you can work something out either way, if you do need any traveling with toddler tips at some point in the future feel free to ask, as I feel I've sort of made a career out of it with my expat-ness.

    Mama of two precious girls
    DD1 born 23 July 2008 and
    DD2 born 14 January 2010

  7. #7
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    Aug 2009
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    Default Re: my first post - question about being away from 23 mo nursling

    Thanks for the encouragement

    So your "been there done that advice" is that the traveling will be less hard on her than being away from me at that age? I was also thinking of making it a shorter trip if it is just me - say 5 days...

  8. #8
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: my first post - question about being away from 23 mo nursling

    could your friend come and see you?
    That might work if she would be willing?

  9. #9
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    Default Re: my first post - question about being away from 23 mo nursling

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sbf2003 View Post
    Thanks for the encouragement

    So your "been there done that advice" is that the traveling will be less hard on her than being away from me at that age? I was also thinking of making it a shorter trip if it is just me - say 5 days...
    Well, I can't honestly say what it will be like with a 23 month old as my DD is younger than yours - BUT - in some ways I think it may go a little more smoothly as your DD will be old enough for more exciting entertainment like stickers, crayons, paper, etc. My DD on our last flight liked to rip up the in-flight entertainment magazine ... lol I know a lot of other expat mamas here who have had lots of great ideas for entertaining the little ones on flights.

    The one thing I can't say is whether or not I think a separation will be easier on her than traveling, as you obviously know your DD best. It must be so hard to decide knowing how much they can and do change within a few months. On one hand you're probably looking forward to a much-needed break, but on the other hand you don't want to cause your DD any stress.

    I'm sure that what ever you decide will work out, hopefully some other mamas who have experienced this kind of thing will chime in too. I can certainly help if you do decide to take her with you though.
    Mama of two precious girls
    DD1 born 23 July 2008 and
    DD2 born 14 January 2010

  10. #10
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    Aug 2009
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    Default Re: my first post - question about being away from 23 mo nursling

    Well I can tell you I'd be a lot less likely to want to take her if she Was weaned - what would I do w/out the magic boobs!!!

    (We took a 3 hour flight w/ her in June and that went fine, particularly with the magic boobs, but this is of course, a whole different ball of wax.)

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