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Thread: how can I explain it to grandma

  1. #1

    Default how can I explain it to grandma

    My kids stay with my mother in law during the day. I appreciate not having to pay for daycare, but we bump heads a lot and she is not overly supportive of breastfeeding. I had problems bfing my first baby, I have oversupply and didn't understand it, and she had a definite problem with dairy and she ended up on very expensive formula. I had longer this time around with my son, and have just gone back to work after he turned 10 weeks. He has done very well with nursing at home and we have managed the OALD well, but now he is at grandma's house during the day and I hear about it everytime he has a funny colored stool. I am pumping a lot at work and am trying to make sure there is enough hind milk in it. If he has the occasional green frothy foremilk stool, will that hurt him? Is it the same as having diarrhea- will it dehydrate him? How can we recognise a real illness versus a normal green stool and little colic one day. I am afraid if I pump too much I will end up with oversupply again. I really want to avoid any problem that is going to make her want to stick in her "occasional" bottle of formula or water. What can I tell her to make her calm down?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009

    Default Re: how can I explain it to grandma

    First off, I would tell her that if any "occasional" bottles of formula or water make it into your child, that you will find someone else to watch them. That is not OK in my book. NOT AT ALL.

    Either tell her not to worry about the poop or just act very interested in what she has to say about the poop and just go on about your business as usual. I had oversupply issues and finally just stopped worrying about the fact that Lilah's poo did not fit the textbook mustard yellow with seeds bf baby definition. Her poo was generally tinged with green, but she was happy and still is at 10 months.

    You could mix all of your milk for the day together and then separate it out into individual bottles. That would spread the fat out, if you understand what I mean. The first pumped milk of the day generally has less fat in it.

    Are you pumping a lot more than your baby eats during the day? If you keep pumping more than he needs, then you are going to contribute to an oversupply problem and your body will not regulate. If you pump the exact amount (or roughly) that he eats per day, then your body will regulate.

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006

    Default Re: how can I explain it to grandma

    If someone is going to give formula and water without parental permission, that person can't watch the baby. Even if it's grandma. So stand firm on that issue!

    Let grandma know that breastfed babies have different stools from formula-fed ones, and that it is normal for a breastfed baby's stool to vary in color and consistency. You might want to share this resource with her: The Color of the Day.

    The occasional green, watery stool is nothing to worry about so long as it isn't happening every time the baby poops.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    miles from nowhere

    Default Re: how can I explain it to grandma

    Occasional green frothy poops aren't going to hurt him, so don't worry about that. For MIL, I'd listen to her concerns and tell her that you've spoken to the doctor about it and s/he assured you that it's fine. And then I'd have DH explain that if lo ever gets a bottle of anything that you haven't approved she will not be watching LO anymore. Period. She needs to know that it's not acceptable.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”

  5. #5

    Default Re: how can I explain it to grandma

    Yeah, thats what I do right now is act interested but just keep going. I really think he is doing fine, if anything maybe he's a little stressed about the change in routine, would that give him green poo? She is the kind that everytime he cries I must have done something wrong with him, and the bad experience with my first baby shook my confidence for a little while. He was cranky this morning and just kind of sipped at me, so I think he got mostly foremilk which is what started the discussion this morning. I am trying to give her articles and info that I can find, don't know if she actually reads it. I am pooling the milk in a glass jar so she can pour it into bottles. I am trying to pump just what he needs, but it seems like he is eating a lot while he is there, averaging out to about 15-18 ounces. I am trying feeding him on one side in the morning while pumping the other, then pumping twice at work.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2009

    Default Re: how can I explain it to grandma

    How many hours is he with grandma? My baby is with my parents about 9 hours max, and generally only goes through 9oz or so of formula/breastmilk during that time. I've found it helps my mom if I premix the bottle amounts ahead of time and give her a general time when he should be fed (he goes about 1oz/hr). This helps her figure out if it's hunger or just general baby fussing, and if he actually needs food or just cuddling.
    Mom to:
    Johann, Born June 21, 2009 8lb, 7oz & 22in nursed until 2 years old
    Lydia, Born March 30, 2013 9lb, 5.6oz & 21.75 inches

    Nursed through hypothryroidism, IGT, and a SNS both times around

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Ontario, Canada

    Default Re: how can I explain it to grandma

    I personally found that if there were people that were not supportive of my BFing (or just don't get it), I just didn't bother bringing up the topic with them. No complaints, no worries, NOTHING related to BF. That way, the door wasn't opened for them to walk through it.

    Talk to people who understand your concerns with foremilk / hindmilk and talk about the weather with MIL.

    For the pumping, pump until your output drops off. You may be able to pump more in quantity, but less frequently and still keep your supply where it should be. Keep up the good work Momma!
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!

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