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Thread: First taste of Criticism

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    Default First taste of Criticism

    ...and it was from my mother !

    Last night while I was feeding my 10 month old grapes my mom kept saying "mmmm those are gooood numeez." Well, 'numeez' is the name I've always used for nursing. So i'm always telling her "mom, numeez is nursing, not food". So i told her again last night and she got all pissy:

    "Well, He's always gonna need it for comfort then if you don't allow other things to take its place. He's gonna be two wanting nummeez"

    "I think it's totally fine and good for a two year old to nurse. A lot of bfing mothers breastfeed for an extended amount of time. It's not just about food, but also a comfort and security thing I don't plan on just taking away"

    "Well, i guess it will all depend on his demeaner," she said so matter of factly. He's going to end up coming up to you in public ripping your shirt off demanding you give him some boob! "


    Urggg!!!

    I left it at that after saying he hopefully won't behave that way.

    For one, that's why i call it nummeez and not 'some boob'. And he hardly ever wants to nurse in public anymore anyways. he's too distracted. will this change? do your older LOs 'rip your shirt off' in public?
    Hello! I'm Alayna, mama to Lennon Born November 18, 2008

    Peace!

  2. #2
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    Default Re: First taste of Criticism

    He doesn't rip my shirt off, but he does reach into my shirt and touch my breasts A LOT for comfort. I think that they have been such a source of love and comfort to him that he will probably want to touch them long after we are done actually nursing.

    Way too lazy for formula

  3. #3
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    Oh FFS!
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    Default Re: First taste of Criticism

    K has NEVER ripped at my shirt in public. When she was younger, she would root or just bob like most babies do but as she got older, she would either sign to nurse or ask to nurse.

    ETA: This is something I taught her to do in order to meet her needs appropriately.
    Last edited by @llli*mothersky; September 10th, 2009 at 09:57 AM.

    Mama to my little Diva: Miss K (7/15/06)
    And her little sister: Lulu Pie (3/21/09)

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    My body creates, houses, nurtures and nourishes life. That is awesome.
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  4. #4
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    miles from nowhere
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    Default Re: First taste of Criticism

    Nora was like K. She'd sign or ask, sometimes lay her head on my breast. Maybe once or twice she grabbed at my shirt, but not a lot. She was usually distracted when we were out and about and didn't think about nursing.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    Default Re: First taste of Criticism

    I know it's frustrating when your own mom says those things. Just an hour ago my mom was telling me that I "ruin" my dd b/c I let her sleep w/us and nurse @ night. I'm just making her "dependent on the boobies" I might as well "just give her a pacifier". Ugh!

    Anyway, my dd doesn't really try to rip my shirt off. She more or less gives it a gentle tug (like someone trying to get your attention), however if I ignore her and don't nurse immediately it turns into her lifting it way up and flashing the person I'm talking to (I really don't *ignore* her, I just try and finish conversation so we can go somewhere quiet to nurse)
    Proud mom of 2:
    DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
    DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

    Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

  6. #6
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    Oct 2008
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    Default Re: First taste of Criticism



    My DD doesn't rip my shirt off, most of the time when we're out she's too busy to think of nursing. If she does think of it she'll sometimes try to put her hand down my shirt, but honestly I don't think that's really noticable. To anyone else looking at us, she's just being a squirmy toddler. She calls it "mom mom" so it's not like she's screaming BOOBS! while putting her hand in my shirt. Sorry you're getting criticism! I was asked the other day "how much longer are you going to do that? I only did for 8 or 10 months..." and my husband stepped in and said "they recommend until at LEAST 2" so I just left it at that and didn't discuss it any further. I think my in-laws think I'm pretty batty for bf'ing this long in the first place, but the fact I'm pregnant and still at it probably makes them think I'm pretty bizarre. MIL has said "Oh, at this rate you'll have one on each side!", and I've just said "Yep! That's the plan!" I just try to say something that makes it clear that it's NOT up for discussion.
    Mama of two precious girls
    DD1 born 23 July 2008 and
    DD2 born 14 January 2010

  7. #7
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    Default Re: First taste of Criticism

    I'm sorry that your mom isn't supportive. Hopefully she will change her tune when she sees how happy & well-adjusted your son is!

    DS doesn't pull at my my shirt (or pull my shirt up), probably because I never reacted well to it. (I wouldn't nurse him when he did that - he only had to wait a minute or so, but that was long enough to kill the behavior quickly.) What he does do is ask for it verbally - even begs for it, if I tell him it's not a good time. But unless he's really tired (or has a booboo) I can generally distract him until we're at a good time/place to nurse. (Yes, I mostly nurse on request, but he's old enough that if he decides that he has to nurse while we're in the middle of the grocery store or dinner is almost cooked I think that he can wait for a few minutes.)

    ETA: A codeword is the key - I think that I would be embarrassed to have a toddler yelling for "milk" or "nurse", but when he is saying "Halav now, please yeah, now" I don't think that most people know what 'halav' is.
    Last edited by @llli*imma2nonstopaa; September 10th, 2009 at 12:34 PM.
    Imma to AA, born at home 11/12/07 , juggling , working, APing , cloth diapering , - and . I'm done - yay!

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  8. #8
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    Feb 2008
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    Default Re: First taste of Criticism

    Neither of my kids have ever even attempted to rip my shirt off. I have had the wandering hand down my shirt a few times but I don't really see that as behavior exclusive to a breastfed baby/toddler.
    Proud mom of 2 boys, both weaned gradually and with love.


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    Murray Straus, Ph.D.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: First taste of Criticism

    thanks for all the stories and kind words mamas!
    I love nursing Lennon, and plan on 'weaning with love' , but it will be disappointing as he gets older to start getting bad feedback from it.
    Hello! I'm Alayna, mama to Lennon Born November 18, 2008

    Peace!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    Default Re: First taste of Criticism

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sixyearplan View Post
    She doesn't really have a word for it yet but knows what milkies are.
    we always call it milkies. Joshua still asks for some "milkies" he was always a "twiddler" and reached down my shirt.

    Kathryn,
    Mama to my sweet blueberry eyed boy Joshua
    born on 11/2/2006

    and my blueberry eyed baby Jonah Henry...my water birth baby!
    born on 6/15/09



    MOBY WRAPS ROCK

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