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Thread: Drastic Measures

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2008

    Default Re: Drastic Measures

    Hi, Andrea!!

    I don't have any advice, but I wanted to send you a hug and some good thoughts--it sounds like you are in a tough position.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Not around here as much :(

    Default Re: Drastic Measures

    I can ship you mine [how weaning happens] email/pm me to where
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  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Drastic Measures

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*desertmama View Post
    -limiting the time he's on by saying he can have 5 min on each side and then
    we're done (to which he replies, "No 5 minutes. No done.")
    Have you tried counting, for a set period of time? Time is such a hard concept for toddlers of that age, and sometimes counting is more effective than giving them a set time limit. It sounds like you've given it a good try, but have you tried completely backing off for a couple weeks and then giving it another try?

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2008

    Default Re: Drastic Measures

    Counting is a good suggestion. And something that worked well for us was singing a song. I would ask my daughter what song and eventually gave her the choice of me singing it once or twice. It was just something more manageable for her.

    I think it's ok to say, at this age, you can nurse at such and such a time, like when the sun comes up, before nap, before bed, etc. Like really concrete times that the child understands and can expect. And there may be tears but you can offer other ways of comfort, if you want to cut down on the nursing sessions. You might just need to be loving but firm.

    As far as offering water at night - that's a good idea. When I night weaned my daughter we did keep a sippy next to the bed and offered it to her because she truly was thirsty. She didn't love the idea at first, but if she was thirsty, that's what she could have.
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  5. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2006

    Default Re: Drastic Measures

    We have been having LOTS of tears, but its been gentle, nonetheless. Counting works great, but it didn't at the start. I told him I would count to 5, and the first couple times he threw big tantrums. I never told him no, to start with, but I would limit the length to a count of 5, for several of his nursing sessions. When he nurses down to sleep, now, he gets a warning when I am getting anxious, that it will be just another minute. Then when that times comes, I say, "Okay, now I'm gonna count to 5." And he stops, then I rub his tummy until he falls asleep. It wasn't always that easy, and its taken several weeks, and there have been some tears and tantrums, but I've always offered other kinds of affection.

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  6. #16
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Far away

    Default Re: Drastic Measures

    Thank you for all suggestions. Eme, I will get back to you ASAP about the book. Really, I mean it.

    I will try counting and singing his fave songs. I know he doesn't understand the concept of 5 minutes - that's what I've used because I haven't planned this weaning thing out very well. I don't mind tears - it's full-on screaming and hitting that I do mind. I don't want to give him a time-out/time-in/quiet time for taking something away from him that he relies on for comfort. Or maybe I should? *sigh* I wish this mommy stuff were more intuitive.
    Andrea - mama to Laith 02.20.07 and Sommer 01.21.11
    'Either you repeat the same conventional doctrines everybody is saying, or else you say something true, and it will sound like it's from Neptune.' - Noam Chomsky

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Far away

    Default Re: Drastic Measures

    Probably a dumb question...Can I count at nighttime feedings as well? It seems it would be ineffective because he's mostly asleep.
    Andrea - mama to Laith 02.20.07 and Sommer 01.21.11
    'Either you repeat the same conventional doctrines everybody is saying, or else you say something true, and it will sound like it's from Neptune.' - Noam Chomsky

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    miles from nowhere

    Default Re: Drastic Measures

    I did the singing at night because it seemed more lullaby-like to me.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”

  9. #19

    Default Re: Drastic Measures

    I sang at night, because I found that counting down wasn't conducive to sleep. Or maybe it was when I yelled BLAST OFF after I got to "one."

    Andrea, you can do this. I'd try the singing. Pick a song and sing it every time, on both sides. And when he gets that, pick a new song, a shorter one, until slowly you only have a teeny song on each side.
    Mother to Emily June, b. Sept 18, 2005 and Lucy Quinn, b. 1/20/2012

    “Buy the ticket, take the ride."
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  10. #20
    Join Date
    Aug 2006

    Default Re: Drastic Measures

    When I was night weaning DS I counted at night, too. He was so used to it, it usually worked. He also transitioned to his own bed during this time. For a while, he was "allowed" to come to our bed in the early morning and nurse, but I got to a point in my pregnancy I was having so much trouble getting back to sleep, I finally said, "this is it." DH totally took over night times after that and I told DS he couldn't nurse until I'd had my shower in the morning. The first night was rough, we had a couple of really early mornings, but for the most part, it went well.

    Water definitely helped us at night.

    We counted to 10, then he could have the other side and count to 10 again.

    We also mixed the nighttime routine up at some point so he was no longer nursing to sleep b/c it was taking longer and I couldn't deal with it. So, I'd nurse him, then DH would read books and help him get to sleep.

    In the end (at 3.5 yrs old) we incentivized with a weaning party and he went for it. (We'd been talking about it for about 9 months before he was finally ready.)
    DS 1/2006 9 lb. 2 oz. 22 in.
    DD 10/2008 8 lb, 2 oz. 20 in.

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