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Thread: Sad mama, how to deal?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    125

    Default Sad mama, how to deal?

    I went back to work 3 days ago. My LO is nearly 4 months old. I am exclusively breastfeeding and pumping at work. He is going to our local YMCA childcare center and I love the facility and the teachers. The thing is he is super tired when I pick him up at 4:00. I am used to staying at home with him and playing and him cooing and squeeling at me. He is so tired from daycare that he doesn't play, coo, or squeel in the afternoons. I am so sad and I feel like I am missing out on the best part of him. He went down for the night around 8:00 so I really only got to spend about 4 hours with him! I cried all the way to work this morning! How do I cope with misssing out on all the things my LO is doing?
    1st Time Mommy to Baby Boy born 4-20-09
    since day one!
    Finally done !!!
    There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get it. ~Irena Chalmers

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,562

    Default Re: Sad mama, how to deal?

    What about having him take a nap when you get home and then he may be more energized to play with you before bed time? And he may acclimate to it soon and be less tired when you pick him up.

    I know how you feel - I only get to see my daughter for about 2 hours on the days that I work. Unfortunately, it's a part of being a working mom.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    The Buckeye State
    Posts
    2,079

    Default Re: Sad mama, how to deal?

    no advice, just some hugs. I'm going back soon too and I'm dreading it. Hang in there.
    I'm Colleen
    Mama to
    Silas born May 2009 ~ Nursed 18 mos, weaned during pregnancy, unweaned at 24 months, still nursing when he feels like it
    Lola born March 2011 ~ The Mary Lou Retton of toddler nursing
    Married to Brandon
    Using cloth on both bums

    We hibernate together



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    13

    Default Re: Sad mama, how to deal?

    Do you cosleep? That helps for me. I remind myself that for 8 hours a day we are cuddling and bonding...we just happen to be asleep while we are doing it.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    497

    Default Re: Sad mama, how to deal?

    This is exactly why I quit my job! I thought I would be happy to go back to work but I cried everyday for 2 weeks while I worked full time then I dropped down to working only part time until my DS was 11 months and then I completely quit. It was the best decision I've ever made. I can always go back to work when my boys are in school but right now I don't want to miss a minute of my baby's life!! For you mama! I know how tough it is!!
    Collin born 4/27/08 by C-Section- BF for 15 months

    Conner born 8/28/09 by VBAC- BF for 2 years and hopefully will wean soon!!

    Also with & due 11/23/11

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    At the other end of the breast
    Posts
    292

    Default Re: Sad mama, how to deal?

    We co-sleep and this helps a lot with the feeling of being away from him for so long during the day. I am also fortunate that with my career I can fluctuate my time at work and therefor I do get to come home early to him on many days or go in a bit later. Also, I really look forward to the weekends when we can be inseperable. I have some friends who do not believe in parenting the way that I do, so they have a hard time adjusting to our practice of always having our son with us, but it's the only days when we can have him non-stop. I also like the idea someone gave of giving your LO a nap when you first get home so they go to sleep a bit later in the evening. That is something that we do and it has really helped us to have really enjoyable play/bonding time at home each night.

    Proud Vegetarian Momma

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Not around here as much :(
    Posts
    12,132

    Default Re: Sad mama, how to deal?

    Can you work with your partner/husband to see if you can really budget down and then you don't have to go back?
    Click here to find an LLL leader near you...or call 1 877 4 LA LECHE for help now.

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
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    Emerson


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  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    125

    Default Re: Sad mama, how to deal?

    Thanks for all the hugs! I am doing better now. My LO has really adjusted and so have I. He takes a nap right when we get home and I am able to cook supper. Then he stays awake pretty much the rest of the day. I am loving the weekends though and I miss him so super bad on Mondays. About co-sleeping... I have tried and tried but my LO moves a lot and wakes up easily so I cannot do it. I really Really want to though. I have tried several times!!! Any advice?
    1st Time Mommy to Baby Boy born 4-20-09
    since day one!
    Finally done !!!
    There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get it. ~Irena Chalmers

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,562

    Default Re: Sad mama, how to deal?

    Maybe side-car the crib? Then he's right there, and free to move about but not bother you?
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    125

    Default Re: Sad mama, how to deal?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommy2lilah View Post
    Maybe side-car the crib? Then he's right there, and free to move about but not bother you?
    What is a side car? He had a bassenet but outgrew it. Can you show me a link to purchase one?
    1st Time Mommy to Baby Boy born 4-20-09
    since day one!
    Finally done !!!
    There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get it. ~Irena Chalmers

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