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Thread: I NEED him to cut back

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Default I NEED him to cut back

    Waylon wants to nurse all the time. EVERY time I sit down, all night long, at the first hint of tired/cranky, when he falls and hurts himself, yada, yada, yada. I've been working on the nighttime thing by decreasing the amount of time I let him nurse, and then telling him the nursies/mama are going night-night. During the day I can count to 5, but he still wants to nurse all the time. So, I count to 5, and he's done for 5 minutes. I've been trying to keep moving which does seem to help, until the next time I sit down. I'm exhausted from nursing 2, being extremely sick, and working fulltime (which is ending soon, but I need to hang on so I can draw unemployment this winter). I just need him to nurse less often, and I'm at a loss.

    I would also LOVE to wean Haylee completely, but she is adamant when we talk its not happening.

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
    Miles in 2011: 708.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 509)
    Miles in 2010: 800.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 620)

    January Miles: 37.5/75
    February Miles: 59/75
    March Miles: 42.5/60
    April Miles: 64
    May Miles: 41/70
    June Miles: 59
    July Miles: 39.5

    227.5 miles on my new shoes
    338 miles on my old shoes

  2. #2
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    Default Re: I NEED him to cut back

    Talk to Haylee about a "weaning Party" That is really been a great negotiating tip for DJ! As far as Waylon, you are gone 40 hours a week right now? Is he Two? How's his language?

    Way too lazy for formula

  3. #3
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    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: I NEED him to cut back

    Haylee just gets sad when I mention a weaning party--says she doesn't want to nurse. "Will Waylon still nurse?" She is ready, really. Most of the time she just latches on for a second, but I really am just done nursing her. I've felt this way for about 6 months, and I feel like 4 is old enough.

    I am gone 40 hours a week (plus the commute time). He does fine without sucking all day at daycare, or with my mom or dh. He has even made it overnight once with mom without really even missing me. I'm, surprisingly, completely fine with it. His language is excellent, but he gets furious if the nursies have owies or go night-night (the nighttime "weaning") has been a labor of love for about 3 months now. He will be 2 in a month.

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
    Miles in 2011: 708.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 509)
    Miles in 2010: 800.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 620)

    January Miles: 37.5/75
    February Miles: 59/75
    March Miles: 42.5/60
    April Miles: 64
    May Miles: 41/70
    June Miles: 59
    July Miles: 39.5

    227.5 miles on my new shoes
    338 miles on my old shoes

  4. #4
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    Jan 2008
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    1,081

    Default Re: I NEED him to cut back

    What about offering Haylee something instead of nursing? Like a sugar-free lollipop or something that she would really like. So everytime she asks to nurse, you could give her ____ instead. And when she asks if Waylon will still nurse, explain that yes, he will, because when she was almost 2 she was still nursing. But there are other things that she gets to do that he doesn't.

    As far as Waylon, maybe just tell him he can nurse at certain times of the day and that's it. There might be tears, but if you're feeling at the end of your rope with it, do what you can to comfort him without nursing. Maybe tell him he can nurse right when you get home and then before bed. Or whatever would work. Make sure he's not hungry or thirsty - Emma will ask to nurse when she's either. I have to insist that she eats enough or she'll just want to drink instead.
    Mommy to:

    Emmalynn Marie
    Born at 37 weeks on 12/22/06
    5lbs 1oz 19 1/2in

    Owen Charles
    Born at 29 wks 6 days on 01/17/09
    2lbs 14oz 15in
    In NICU for 2 months


  5. #5
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    Default Re: I NEED him to cut back

    Well I am with you on 4 is enough. But we aren't quite there yet. And I would say that telling her that he will still nurse because he is much much younger than her and giving her something else should work....
    But for Waylon.....I think it's probably really really normal for him to WANT to nurse as much as possible when with you because he is already going sooo long without doing it during the week.
    Even now DJ gets so upset at night when the Noonie has to go away. And I put them away because I run out of milk. If I tried to do it to him two years ago I imagine that would have made him soo up set. And I remember it pretty well. There was a period right around two (that I am pretty sure was caused as much by 2nd year molars as it was boredom and wanting to reconnect) where I felt pretty frustrated and used. Like he ONLY liked me for my boobs. And I couldn't sit down at the computer WITHOUT him doing it....so it you NEED to do it less, than maybe you need to cuddle less and have him in your lap less. The best way to deal was to keep him running.

    Way too lazy for formula

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    Default Re: I NEED him to cut back

    DD1 will be 4 this week and we will be done. This has been in the works for months. We've discussed it a lot and we agreed. Can you tell I have mixed emotions?
    In any event, next weekend we are going to the waterpark as a family before her birthday party as a kind of weaning party or special way to celebrate the end of this era in our relationship. I hope this will help make it a really positive experience and memory for her (and me).
    Sorry, I know this is not about me, but maybe it will help you and Haylee come up with a similar plan? You could even tell her about me and DD1 if you think that will help her wrap her mind around the idea.
    As for W, I don't really know what to tell you other than the advice that's already been given! Can you crack open How Weaning Happens again? It's been a while since I read it. Maybe you'll be reminded of something helpful.

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  7. #7
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    Default Re: I NEED him to cut back

    Yeah. I think you should really talk up a weaning party. For us, it's going to be a pretty big deal. Like a graduation party of sorts. And that is what it is. We are going to be celebrating his accomplishment. (and mine). The accomplishment of WALKING AWAY ON HIS OWN. Of outgrowing the need. It seems to me she would be all about that.

    Way too lazy for formula

  8. #8
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    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: I NEED him to cut back

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mollyb View Post
    DD1 will be 4 this week and we will be done. This has been in the works for months. We've discussed it a lot and we agreed. Can you tell I have mixed emotions?
    In any event, next weekend we are going to the waterpark as a family before her birthday party as a kind of weaning party or special way to celebrate the end of this era in our relationship. I hope this will help make it a really positive experience and memory for her (and me).
    Sorry, I know this is not about me, but maybe it will help you and Haylee come up with a similar plan? You could even tell her about me and DD1 if you think that will help her wrap her mind around the idea.
    As for W, I don't really know what to tell you other than the advice that's already been given! Can you crack open How Weaning Happens again? It's been a while since I read it. Maybe you'll be reminded of something helpful.
    I wish there was a great book about it, with the party and all. Maybe we need to come up with some really great activity! And your post made me all sappy.

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
    Miles in 2011: 708.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 509)
    Miles in 2010: 800.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 620)

    January Miles: 37.5/75
    February Miles: 59/75
    March Miles: 42.5/60
    April Miles: 64
    May Miles: 41/70
    June Miles: 59
    July Miles: 39.5

    227.5 miles on my new shoes
    338 miles on my old shoes

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    8,591

    Default Re: I NEED him to cut back

    Well, I am attempting to lay here and nurse Waylon down for bed and he is literally driving me crazy. I'm not sure I can do it without losing it completely. I can not take it anymore.

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
    Miles in 2011: 708.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 509)
    Miles in 2010: 800.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 620)

    January Miles: 37.5/75
    February Miles: 59/75
    March Miles: 42.5/60
    April Miles: 64
    May Miles: 41/70
    June Miles: 59
    July Miles: 39.5

    227.5 miles on my new shoes
    338 miles on my old shoes

  10. #10
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    Jun 2006
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    Not around here as much :(
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    12,132

    Default Re: I NEED him to cut back

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*moose View Post
    Well, I am attempting to lay here and nurse Waylon down for bed and he is literally driving me crazy. I'm not sure I can do it without losing it completely. I can not take it anymore.
    Do you think if the pain passes (assuming it does in a few weeks) it will be more bearable?
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