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Thread: having a rough evening...need reassurance

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
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    Default Re: having a rough evening...need reassurance

    You've gotten some great advice


    This part of your first post stood out to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*kathrynk View Post
    I miss Joshua, I spend most of my day rocking/trying to nurse.
    How often are you trying to nurse? How are his diapers? I ask because maybe he is efficient and he's getting more than you think in a short time - and if you're trying to continue to offer your breast, he may be frustrated/angry because he's full, kwim? Chewing on his hands may be a sign of teething. My ds has always been a very fast nurser. Once side for 3-4 minutes TOPS. Even in the first week or two he would nurse a max of 7-8 minutes at a time Also, about the foremilk/hindmilk - are you making sure that one breast is completely empty before offering the second? If that's not working, I think block feeding might help. You can start out with small blocks - or just offer one breast per nursing session. This way, your letdown should slow down as well.

    ~Jenn~


    mother of 2 boys!
    08/14/98~~03/20/08

    Birth: 7lbs 12oz, 1 year: 22lbs 11oz
    until he self-weaned 4 days before his third birthday ... still on occasion ... and happily

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
    People need to understand that when they're deciding between breastmilk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available. ~Chele Marmet

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    2,156

    Default Re: having a rough evening...need reassurance


    Kimberly Mommy to Landin and Avery

    ------------------------------------------

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    1,780

    Default Re: having a rough evening...need reassurance

    Kathy You have been in my thoughts often!

    YOU CAN DO THIS! I was reading through Lyn's post and she said it all so well. I was through the whole thing. It is hard but you are strong. Many women would have given up already, but there you are, working hard at doing the best you can for both your children! It's okay that Joshua watches a little more tv right now, I can gurantee that he is not sitting watching violent shows unsupervised. Right now Gabe is watching more tv than normal, and I haven't even had this baby yet....sometimes it just has to be for the time being. You are trying and although he may not outwardly show it, Joshua knows that and he knows that you love both of them. Right now Jonah just needs your immediate attention more. I wish I could help more.
    Kelly

    Mommy to Gabriel born 12/25/06 Breastfed 12/25/06 - 12/09 and possibly here and there still
    Madelyn born 9/24/09 delivered at home and caught by my husband

    "To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right."

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    2,393

    Default Re: having a rough evening...need reassurance

    Thank you all so much for the reassurance and suggestions. Lyn, sharing your experience with 2 really made me feel better, and not alone. It is incredibly hard. I wasn't at all prepared. I thought I would put the baby in a sling and go about my day with Joshua. Boy was I mistaken! I do have to reformat everything, and try to make it work for all of us.
    I did block feed once before, and his poops turned yellow, but my supply also went too low. He was just as mad because he wasn't getting enough. I will try block feeding once again, just for 2 sessions per breast and see if that helps. It's also hard to pump off or hand express the letdown first, because I am trying to nurse him so frequently. When I'm not in that dark room with him, I am trying to give Joshua a bit of attention.
    I did wonder if maybe I was offering too frequently, but that is a double edge sword as well. If I wait even the slightest bit too long, he gets ravenous and frantic, and screams even more. He sucks harder, and chokes on the flow more, which makes him pull off and not want to get back on. It takes even longer to get him on, and then he falls asleep out of exhaustion without nursing. I really have to get him on every hour, especially because it's hard to keep him on the breast long. He never gets full feeding in during the day, just a few gulps every hour or so. Then I "wear" him down every night in the moby wrap, and latch him on when he is asleep. This is usually his first real full feeding, where he empties a side. Then during the night I switch him from side to side..he usually only nurses 2 or 3 times/night.

    So at 11 weeks it's not too early to be teething? He is soooooo drooly(he has to wear bibs) and chomps like a mad man on his hands. Almost as if he is frantic or nervous. That makes me feel bad, because he could be really hungry. It really is like learning a new dance.

    Thanks for all the hugs and advice. I really needed that. I actually mixed a bottle of formula the other day , out of desperation (after battling with him at the breast for the entire morning). (the formula companies sent me about 4 large containers of the stuff). Of course I never ended up giving it to him, it sat there on the counter. He wouldn't have taken the bottle anyway. I was bawling while mixing it, feeling like a big old failure.

    I have to remind myself that he is gaining fine, and he is happy and smiley, so I must be doing something right.

    Kathryn,
    Mama to my sweet blueberry eyed boy Joshua
    born on 11/2/2006

    and my blueberry eyed baby Jonah Henry...my water birth baby!
    born on 6/15/09



    MOBY WRAPS ROCK

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    2,393

    Default Re: having a rough evening...need reassurance

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*moose View Post
    How do you nurse at night?
    Erin...he definately stays on much longer, and gulps WAY more at night. He handles my let-downs wonderfully when he is half asleep.

    Kathryn,
    Mama to my sweet blueberry eyed boy Joshua
    born on 11/2/2006

    and my blueberry eyed baby Jonah Henry...my water birth baby!
    born on 6/15/09



    MOBY WRAPS ROCK

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    4,007

    Default Re: having a rough evening...need reassurance

    ds2 started teething at 8 weeks we didn't see a tooth until 5 months or so, but he started drooling and chewing everything in sight (including his hands) at about 2 months. There was so much drool that his poops were mucusy
    ~Jenn~


    mother of 2 boys!
    08/14/98~~03/20/08

    Birth: 7lbs 12oz, 1 year: 22lbs 11oz
    until he self-weaned 4 days before his third birthday ... still on occasion ... and happily

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
    People need to understand that when they're deciding between breastmilk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available. ~Chele Marmet

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    2,393

    Default Re: having a rough evening...need reassurance

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sch.mommy View Post
    ds2 started teething at 8 weeks we didn't see a tooth until 5 months or so, but he started drooling and chewing everything in sight (including his hands) at about 2 months. There was so much drool that his poops were mucusy
    and the drool is mucousy as well! That makes me feel better. Joshua teethed much later, so I thought he was just hungry. I swear, ever since that first Doctor told me he must be hungry, I have been on this downward spiral!

    Kathryn,
    Mama to my sweet blueberry eyed boy Joshua
    born on 11/2/2006

    and my blueberry eyed baby Jonah Henry...my water birth baby!
    born on 6/15/09



    MOBY WRAPS ROCK

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    4,007

    Default Re: having a rough evening...need reassurance

    sometimes our docs need a good

    How's hit wet diapers? Trust yourself mama! You're not giving yourself or Jonah enough credit You can get through this rough patch
    ~Jenn~


    mother of 2 boys!
    08/14/98~~03/20/08

    Birth: 7lbs 12oz, 1 year: 22lbs 11oz
    until he self-weaned 4 days before his third birthday ... still on occasion ... and happily

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
    People need to understand that when they're deciding between breastmilk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available. ~Chele Marmet

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    1,081

    Default Re: having a rough evening...need reassurance

    It seems to me that trying to nurse him every hour is too often, especially if he fights it. I know he's been fighting nursing since birth, but I would try to wait until he acts hungry before nursing him. What hunger cues have you noticed so far? What are his wet diapers like?

    I think you guys need to reset yourselves. Somehow you need to step back and realize he is happy, gaining weight, and doing well in other ways for an 11 week old. You need to take a BIG deep breath - maybe a couple. Wait for him to tell you he's hungry instead of offering so often. He's not going to starve himself. So if he goes 4 hours, it's ok! Count his wet diapers and try to relax a little. Maybe try burping him a lot before you nurse him. And if he cries and stuff before nursing, burp him and try to soothe him before offering to nurse him again. He could be taking in a lot of air when he's fighting latching on and that's making it harder for him to nurse for more than a few gulps. I know when Owen was having his upper GI done he was crying and his stomach totally filled with air on the xrays. I burped him a ton and waited until he calmed down before I nursed him.

    And remind me, is he on medication for reflux? Did you talk to his Dr about all this?
    Mommy to:

    Emmalynn Marie
    Born at 37 weeks on 12/22/06
    5lbs 1oz 19 1/2in

    Owen Charles
    Born at 29 wks 6 days on 01/17/09
    2lbs 14oz 15in
    In NICU for 2 months


  10. #30
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    NW OH
    Posts
    3,473

    Default Re: having a rough evening...need reassurance

    He def. could be teething at 11 weeks. Cooper had two teeth by four months old, he was teething well before then!

    I'm dealing with a strong letdown this time around too, what helps Bennett is when I nurse him while lying down. He doesnt choke/gag/barf when we nurse this way. Cooper can sit on the bed w/ us and I can read him books doing this. Kind of inconvenient but it helps Bennett out so it'll have to do! Have you tried this with J?


    I'm Heather, SAHM to Cooper , born 1/2007
    and Bennett, our precious NICU grad born 8/2009
    and wife to Bill since 10/2003!
    We're young, but we know we can do it!
    Life with the Stevens-blog

    I'm an Ergo Baby Carrier affiliate!

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