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Thread: having a rough evening...need reassurance

  1. #11
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    Default Re: having a rough evening...need reassurance

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*number4 View Post
    Can you hand express before you latch him on - to get that initial flow - so there's no 'unlatch and relatch'? COaxing him to the breast with some of the expressed milk on your nipple?

    OOOH that's a good idea... get the letdown over with first

  2. #12
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    Default Re: having a rough evening...need reassurance

    I was thinking of you as I got Daniel to bed tonight. I know its hard when you are feeling pulled in two different directions by your kids. Daniel watches a lot of TV too. Its the only way, because Lucy is a very picky nurser as well. She will not nurse when we're out and about unless shes really hungry, and even then she fights it.

    Do you remember when you first had Joshua? How it was impossible to make things work by just fitting him into the relationship you had already established with your husband? Everything had to be shook up and put back together in a different way. Its the same thing when you have a second or third or fourth child. You have to re-format everything. So there is going to be some change for Joshua and you. You have to share yourself as a Mother now. But in the same way that you and your husband made things work, you and Joshua are going to make things work. I don't think Joshua is feeling slighted. But this is all new to him too. There isn't a day that goes by that the guilt doesn't hit me. But I'm trying to accept my limitations. I am ONE person with TWO children.

    This isn't forever. Jonah is going to get bigger, he's going to play more with Joshua. You've given Joshua the gift of a sibling. He doesn't appreciate it right now, but he will.

    I remember the big turnaround in nursing Daniel came at 4 months. It didn't all magically get easier, but I was able to handle it much better and felt like I hit a groove.

    You can do this Kathy.
    Lyn
    Nursing the girl with kaleidoscope eyes


    Mama to Daniel (12/3/06) and Lucy Jane (8/28/08)

  3. #13
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    Default Re: having a rough evening...need reassurance

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*number4 View Post
    Can you hand express before you latch him on - to get that initial flow - so there's no 'unlatch and relatch'? COaxing him to the breast with some of the expressed milk on your nipple?


    i was thinking the same thing.. could you try to get a let down BEFORE latching him on?


    maybe just some nipple stim?? that gives me a let down

    im so sorry your going through this though.. a million It will get easier!!! and i dont think he will wean early.. im sure he will grow to love nursing
    Student aspiring to be a Chiropractor and mother to Noah who will be 3 in July and Olivia who will be 2 in Aug.

  4. #14
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    Jun 2006
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    Default Re: having a rough evening...need reassurance

    Everything had to be shook up and put back together in a different way. Its the same thing when you have a second or third or fourth child. You have to re-format everything.
    I always remind my self things will never get 'back to normal" this IS my new normal.

    You can do it, indeed!
    Click here to find an LLL leader near you...or call 1 877 4 LA LECHE for help now.

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  5. #15
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    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: having a rough evening...need reassurance

    The best advice I can think of is to take one day at a time--don't worry about whether he will wean early, but focus on what you can do today to make it easier on all 3 (4) of you. I think hand expressing until letdown is a good idea, then letting Jonah nurse. I would also suggest that you look into an oversupply issue, because if you are getting green poops, its a good possibility that you have an abundance of foremilk, and he is getting that. Have you contacted your local LLL group/leader? I wonder if they might have some insight if they could watch him nurse.

    You will get through it. The guilt is completely gone for me (at least wrt focusing more or less on one child), because they fight/play now, and the attention is fairly equal. There will come a time.

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
    Miles in 2011: 708.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 509)
    Miles in 2010: 800.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 620)

    January Miles: 37.5/75
    February Miles: 59/75
    March Miles: 42.5/60
    April Miles: 64
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    July Miles: 39.5

    227.5 miles on my new shoes
    338 miles on my old shoes

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    Smile Re: having a rough evening...need reassurance

    I know you don't want to do the bottle forever..but on one of the kellymom sites that I linked to you in the old post you had under the newborn section, it recommended giving baby a break for a few days from the nipple, that way he "gets over" his frustration with it, and then you guys could start new..under more severe cases like this, it was recommended! I know he doesn't take a bottle..but he would eventually eat from it if you persisted I bet...I'm not in your shoes and I know it's really hard, but it sounds like a good idea to me, it would be worth it for a few days of trying to force the bottle over the nipple...that way maybe you'll have a chance to get him back on the nipple successfully! I bet some might disagree, but again this was recommended on kellymom...they seem to know what they're talkin' about! Hang in there, I hope your feeling better!
    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...to-breast.html
    Kathy could you take 10 minutes to read this page??? It seems VERY much your situation...give it a go! Let me know what you think....
    We just and I am non-stop and we have always and now we are finding our groove with I can't believe it, but I am also and there's alot of going on with Annabella. This mama couldn't be more grateful for the two most important loves of her life, and my natural ability to instinctively follow my heart according to what I later learned as "Attachment Parenting"

    Gave birth to a beautiful little girl Annabella

    9-25-08



    Gave birth to a second beautiful little baby girl Brynleigh

    4-30-10

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    19

    Default Re: having a rough evening...need reassurance

    I have had the exact thing happen with two of my 4 babies, one of which is my 6 month old. I actually made a post a while back asking if it were possible for it to get better. It wasn't easy, but YES it has gotten better. I was so so down about it at around the very same time as you, and it has slowly gotten better. For a while I was so worried he couldn't possibly gain well eating the way he did, but he has amazingly. And is also a chub. I also have a toddler at home, too...and carry a lot of guilt, so I really could have written your very same post myself. I totally understand how you are feeling.

    And to be honest, I think part of what got him upset at the beginning was the fast flow, but other times I'm not even sure that's it. He was just a fussy nurser. He still has his days, but I wanted you to know that yes, it can get better, and probably will!! Hang in there! There were days I would cry because I just knew he would probably wean early too, given our track record, but we are still going strong! I haven't ever given him a bottle, because I just have a feeling he would take it and run, lol. Anyway, hang in there!!! Try to relax (even though I know it's much easier said than done) and let me know if I can help in any way! Huge hugs!
    ~Bella

    momma to M (10), A (6), K (3) and baby G (born 3/2/09)

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    Toronto, Canada
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    Default Re: having a rough evening...need reassurance

    Kathy, you've gotten great advice so far! I'm sure things will get easier, and I agree with Erin that you should just look at each day as it comes. Worrying about what this nursing relationship might look like will only cause you stress and won't help.

    Roxie was a boob fighter for a long time. At least the first three months, and she had her moments after that. I would nurse her in the sling, or my arms, walking, bouncing AND shushing...just so she would latch and eat. I seriously think my husband doubted my sanity . But it got us through. And eventually she was okay to nurse lying down during the day, and that got us through a little longer. And then she decided that she could ONLY nurse that way for a couple of months...and since around 7 or 8 months, this girl will nurse anywhere in just about any position.. But she still has moments where she's distracted or whatever and I have to remember that I can't make her nurse, so I need to relax and just keep offering. That has been what has saved my sanity more than once.

    So I guess I'm just saying that you guys will find what works for you.. If nursing while sleepy and in a dark room is working some of the time, maybe there's another approach that will work in other circumstances...try not to stress too much about the diet. Give yourself a few more weeks before you mess with all that stuff unless you are noticing a direct correleation between something you've eaten and his fussiness, or you start to see blood in his stool. I had a very reassuring conversation with my new allergist this week, so if you want to chat about intolerances, PM me.

    I'm sending you a million s Kathy. Hang in there and know that so many of us have walked this road and lived to tell the tale.
    Last edited by @llli*jessruff; August 31st, 2009 at 05:20 AM.
    Jess

    Mama to my little Roxie Roo, 06/11/08


    April miles for TBTTW: 63

  9. #19
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    Jun 2007
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    Default Re: having a rough evening...need reassurance


    Jenn
    Mom to - DD1 10/5/05, DS 6/27/07 & DD2 6/18/09

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    8,591

    Default Re: having a rough evening...need reassurance

    How do you nurse at night?

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
    Miles in 2011: 708.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 509)
    Miles in 2010: 800.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 620)

    January Miles: 37.5/75
    February Miles: 59/75
    March Miles: 42.5/60
    April Miles: 64
    May Miles: 41/70
    June Miles: 59
    July Miles: 39.5

    227.5 miles on my new shoes
    338 miles on my old shoes

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