Hey Kathy I also struggled with a reluctant daytime nurser, champion nighttime nurser. BFing was not a pleasant experience with a baby who screamed anytime i put her near my boob, but was obviously hungry. Going out in public was hardly worth it, there was no way i could get her to eat. but now she is 3 and a half months and things are so much better. We are both enjoying breastfeeding. I also never used the bottle for fear she would prefer it, and now she won't take it at all, but i am a-okay with that. Every once in a while though we have a set-back where she will hardly eat during the day, and i have correlated it to dairy. For 3 weeks i was vigilent about no dairy, and that's when things started to improve. A few days ago i ate a small amount of dairy (ice cream cake!), and the next day she refused to eat. So i suspect she just doesn't feel well and doesn't want to eat. So maybe your little guy also doesn't feel well from some food intolerance and therefore won't eat. It might be worth investigating.
As for how often to offer the breast, i was also offering every hour, my hubby used to say "uh-oh, here she comes with the big boob...", but i knew when she wasn't eating enough, based on how she ate when we had the odd good day of nursing. I could tell she was hungry but just didn't want to eat, and was crying b.c she was hungry. so i spent most of my day trying to get her to eat. Eventually i developed a little trick that would get her to feed:
When i know she is hungry but refusing to eat, i let her suck my finger (which she loves) while she's snuggled to my chest, then after 10 minutes i kinda lower her down to my nipple and latch her on and most often she will start feeding. I kinda trick her into eating, but it works. Mine is also a very fast feeder, 5 minutes tops. But now on really good days sometimes she takes her time and nurses for 15 minutes, which is really rewarding after a few months of feeling like she hates BFing.
Anyhow, i just wanted to offer you another way to try to get him to nurse, and also some support so you know you aren't the only one. MY mom's group is full of lovely little breastfeeders who love the boob, it can be lonely to have a baby who fights it. We are going on vacation next week and everyone's advice for the plane is to nurse during take-off and landing. I laugh, b.c if there is one sure way to make my baby cry, it's to offer her the breast when she doesn't want it : ) Although she's now pretty good about nursing at home, she rarely nurses when we're out and about, so I'm a little apprehensive about our holiday. I am learning to accept that breastfeeding isn't the joy i had hoped, but i know it's still best for her. And things really have improved, even though i never thought they would. So keep going, i know it's tough, but hopefully it'll turn around for you.