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Thread: Fustrated and feelings of failure

  1. #1

    Default Fustrated and feelings of failure

    Hello,

    I just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy at 36W. I was induced due to Preeclampsia. Since then the doctor was worried about low blood sugar and weight. Several attempts to breastfeed but my little guy was too frustrated due to hunger and me not having anything to give. I then supplemented with formula by cup so as to not be confused with nipples. He slowly gained weight but I was more frustrated by the fact that I could not feed my son. He got confused with the cup feeding and then did not want to suckle at the breast. We then had to tube feed him while at the breast to get him use to where food comes from. Still no milk from me, Dr gave me Domperidone to jump start my milk production. My breast then got HUGE! And hard lumpy rocks and where so painful I couldnt even try and breastfeed my son. But when ever I pumped I still would hardly get anything out from each.

    I discontinued medication my breast have now gone down but are still some what painful. I have been using a nipple shield to help since he dosnt latch on very well to begin with and he dosnt seem to relive the pressure, I think that I am not letting down. He will nurse for 20-30min on each some times and he dosnt seem to be satisfied and I end up having to give him an OZ or two of formula after.

    I end up being upset that I cannot feed my son and feel like I have failed. I have these swollen breast but hardly anything comes out and my son isnt filling up on them and I hardly pump anything out.

    Any help would be appreciated....

    Thanks

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    Default Re: Fustrated and feelings of failure

    hi mama. congrats on your LO and

    You are going through a lot right now mama. First you have to give yourself credit for everything that you have been through. I had pre-e too, so not only are you dealing with an early baby, but you are working on getting yourself healthy again. Take it one day at a time.

    How old is your LO? Is he in the hospital? A lot of preemies just don't get breastfeeding until around their due date. Just take things slowly. How often are you pumping in the meantime? What kind of pump do you have? And you said that you are using an SNS or he was being gavage fed?

    You are not a failure mama. you are doing the best that you can with the situation that you got. Do lots of skin to skin. Kanagaroo your LO all that you can. He will get there....it may not be as easy or quick, but he will get it.

    You can do this mama. Trust yourself. Your LO will get there. He just needs a little extra time.
    I'm Hillary
    Wife to Gualberto
    Mom to Nolan
    Born at 32 weeks-3lbs/10oz
    11-25-2007
    Our precious early angel


    Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being ~ Kittie Frantz
    Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth ~ Albert Einstein
    First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win ~ Mahatma Gandhi
    Looking for more information about vaccines?

  3. #3

    Default Re: Fustrated and feelings of failure

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*nolies.mama View Post
    hi mama. congrats on your LO and

    How old is your LO?
    Is he in the hospital?
    How often are you pumping in the meantime?
    What kind of pump do you have?
    And you said that you are using an SNS or he was being gavage fed?
    Hes 6 days old. We have been home for 2 days now. I have been trying on the breast with the shield cause my breast are so big I cant get enough of the nipple in his mouth for a good latch, also he has trouble latching, he tends to not open his mouth as wide. I try and do 20-30min on each but he ends up falling asleep there then just being really fussy cause hes not getting enough from me but I am still so engorged. My husband ends up cup feeding him while I pump for about 20 min on each and between the both of them I get 1/2 ounce or less.... And still feel sore. My husband rented a Ameda I think its a POS and it looks like something from the 60's. We do however have our name down for one of the better ones to rent as soon as it comes in.

    I have always wanted to really breastfeed but all this frustration about not getting enough milk out makes me want to kick the bucket on it.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Fustrated and feelings of failure

    I totally understand you about the frustration mama. I couldn't BF for over TWO MONTHS!!! I cried, kicked, screamed....every single time. It just seemed like it should it should be coming naturally to both of us. But it just took time.

    First things first. Do you have an LC that you are working with? That is invaluable. If you can, get to see someone right away. There is nothing like hands on help.

    Second. I don't know how this is for older (36w) babies, but I know that some early ones like to plaster their tongue on the roof of their mouth, preventing a good open mouth and latch. My LC taught me a little trick just as he was latching, kind of sweeping my finger down along his chin to make his mouth open wider and therefore popping his tongue off the roof of his mouth.

    And remember, babies are sleepy in the beginning. You can feed him naked or stroke his face or something like that to try and keep him awake.

    Getting yourself a good hospital grade pump is key to making sure that in the meantime you are kept comfortable and your milk supply is kept optimal. Can your insurance help out? Or maybe if you do see an LC they can help?

    And when you said tube feeding, did you mean SNS or gavage? An SNS can also be a good way to get a baby that starts off with a few issues more efficient at the breast.

    Don't give up mama. You are doing a good job. I know it is hard. In a while you are going to look back on this and you won't even remember how hard it was though! But what you will remember is how proud you are that you stuck with it!
    I'm Hillary
    Wife to Gualberto
    Mom to Nolan
    Born at 32 weeks-3lbs/10oz
    11-25-2007
    Our precious early angel


    Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being ~ Kittie Frantz
    Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth ~ Albert Einstein
    First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win ~ Mahatma Gandhi
    Looking for more information about vaccines?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    13

    Default Re: Fustrated and feelings of failure

    i can relate to the feelings of failure. i feel my body failed me since i couldnt keep my lil guy baking longer, and am unable to nurse currently.

    how r thigns now?
    Last edited by @llli*mamabearx3; August 27th, 2009 at 02:37 PM.
    Mama Bear to Brother Bear(10), Sister Bear (7) and wee little Baby Bear, born early July 28,09

    wifey to my Mr Incredible

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    meh....wherever
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    7,065

    Default Re: Fustrated and feelings of failure

    How are things going mama? Check in soon!
    I'm Hillary
    Wife to Gualberto
    Mom to Nolan
    Born at 32 weeks-3lbs/10oz
    11-25-2007
    Our precious early angel


    Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being ~ Kittie Frantz
    Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth ~ Albert Einstein
    First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win ~ Mahatma Gandhi
    Looking for more information about vaccines?

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