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Thread: 2 yo begging for cow's milk

  1. #11
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    Jun 2008
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    Default Re: 2 yo begging for cow's milk

    I don't want to be rude, but I think we should be a little more understanding of moms who give their toddlers cow or goat milk after 1 year. For those moms who follow the standard American Diet - they are probably just going along with what most pediatricians suggest today. I'm not saying they are right, they just are doing what they think is best.

    Also, not all of us who say we believe in extended breast feeding are actually able to do it. I have been TRYING very hard to nurse my 14 mo. old all summer and she has somewhat resisted me (due to a number of factors). Many of us are full time working moms and have to be away from our toddlers all day. Some of us aren't able to pump and give our toddlers our milk.

    The calcium found in other things (veggies, etc.) is not what it should be because the soil in which it is grown is not as good as it used to be decades ago. It's tough to know that your toddler is getting enough calcium without milk.

    It really is tough to do our best for our toddlers. Let's support each other and not make each other feel more guilty. JMO

    I'm Erica

    Mommy to "C" - currently 3 and half years old
    - nursed for one year

    and mommy to "M" - currently 2 years old
    - nursed for 23 months

    Wife to my handsome DH for 5 and a half years!

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    233

    Default Re: 2 yo begging for cow's milk

    I genuinely wanted to know why it has become such a standard to start offering dairy? and I also made the comment because I think a lot of people don't know that the milk they buy from the store is very unhealthy. I guess I am just too passionate about nutrition. I am sorry I come off as making people feel guilty. I understand many Moms just can't do it, but I also know that the calcium from plants are much more readily available to the body than that of the pasteurized cows milk. Which has been such a marketing scam by the dairy industry to say that "it does a body good". Yes, our soil is becoming depleted, but even still... pasteurized milk does not give the body what it needs. I just hope Moms will be informed, thats all. And I want to know why people aren't successful breastfeeding, so that maybe we can all find answers.
    Josiah born at home 1/26/2009, 50 months and counting , and Adlai born 6/26/12

  3. #13
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    Default Re: 2 yo begging for cow's milk

    I don't know why it has become such a standardized practice to "push" cow's milk as of a year. Many someone who has done more research can chime in.

    As for getting nutrition from plants - I don't know how old your baby is, but having two toddlers, I can tell you from experience that it is tough to get them to eat raw greens. And cooked greens have VERY LITTLE calcium or any nutritional value at all.

    I'm not saying that I agree with giving cow's milk (because I don't - I haven't given cows milk to my babies ever, except cooked in recipes). But I myself wonder if other kinds of milk (goat, soy, almond, rice) might be helpful in cases where bm is not available.

    As for why breastfeeding toddlers is not as prevalent as it should be, especially in America, that is a whole other thread by itself! I personally think, however, the more we are aware ourselves and do our best to support bf and what other moms ARE doing (instead of focusing on what's wrong and what they aren't doing) we will change society one baby at a time!

    I'm Erica

    Mommy to "C" - currently 3 and half years old
    - nursed for one year

    and mommy to "M" - currently 2 years old
    - nursed for 23 months

    Wife to my handsome DH for 5 and a half years!

  4. #14
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    Jun 2008
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    Default Re: 2 yo begging for cow's milk

    Sorry for the thread hijack! (I can't get my icons to work... )

    I'm Erica

    Mommy to "C" - currently 3 and half years old
    - nursed for one year

    and mommy to "M" - currently 2 years old
    - nursed for 23 months

    Wife to my handsome DH for 5 and a half years!

  5. #15
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    Jun 2009
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    11

    Default Re: 2 yo begging for cow's milk

    Erica - Thanks for the book recommendation I'll add it to my pile of titles to read. :-) Right now one of the next books I'm planning on reading is Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon. She bases her nutrition philosophy on Weston Price's research into traditional diets. Eating the way humans have eaten for thousands of years appeals to me, although there is not a lot of scientific evidence that it is the best way to eat (but of course you can find research to say just about anything you want ;-).
    peace,
    Lorrraine

  6. #16
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    Jun 2009
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    Default Re: 2 yo begging for cow's milk

    Janelle525 - In a perfect world I would give my daughter raw cow's milk because it's something that has sustained human life for thousand of years. I know that sounds kind of simple but I guess the simplicity is part of what appeals to me. I'm still working on learning as much as I can on this topic. I've been a big believer in science but with recent research in nutrition getting more and more confusing I'm starting to have doubts. I'm working on getting raw milk but for now all I can get is "big organic." Which I'm hoping has significantly less puss, etc. than conventional.

    The first time I ever gave my daughter cow's milk was because she was literally begging me for it. She was about to throw a minor tantrum and I thought, why am I withholding this food? and I let her have an ounce, which she loved. It's a food I consume. Until I have time to find some research showing me why I shouldn't consume it I'm going to to continue. There are so many hard decisions to make in parenting even just with diet! I respect anybody who choses not to drink cow's milk and knows how to get enough calcium, vitamin D, protien and fat without it. Those nutrients are another big reason I give cow's milk to my daughter. She is allergic to eggs (one great source of protien and fat lost) and because of that I am waiting to introduce nuts (another great source of protien and fat lost). I also still deal with insecurity about my milk supply. LO was tiny when she was born and grew slowly. She didn't latch at first and I had to pump and bottle feed for 2 months before she was fully off the bottle and onto the breast. I had a few weeks during that 2 months when my supply dropped and because my daughter never quite made it onto the growth chart and her growth leveled off (dropping her way off any chart - even the WHO breastfed baby growth chart) I always worry she's not getting enough milk, especially when she's wanting to nurse all day long. If I can distract her with anything, including cow's milk, and get a little more work done, I do it (within reason, I don't give her more than 2-3 servings of dairy a day). I'm not ready for her to be 100% weaned but I think at 2 she should be working on many other things and not sitting in my lap all day nursing. Part of the problem is her 2 year molars but she's also going through a phase where she wants to be a tiny baby again. Which I think is normal developmentally but might be contributing to the nursing (if she sees a baby nursing or even drinking a bottle or if I mention anything using the word baby she wants to nurse).

    @Erica - Interesting comment about greens losing there vitamins and minerals when cooked. The raw food movement is another thing I'd like to research (in that other life where I don't need sleep).

    I think the reason doctor's push cow's milk at one so much is mainly because a majority of babies are weaned well before one and doctors are encouraging to switch from formula to cow's milk. Those of still bf are just "freaks" that most peds don't know what to do with. Although, I have even heard of peds who are very alternative and still start encouraging weaning after 1. My uneducated guess is that they see babies with problems caused by a lack of some nutrient or vitamin that could have been avoided if only they had been eating a "standard diet" (of course this ignores any other problems caused by this standard diet). I think sometimes if your diet isn't perfect or if your toddler's diet isn't perfect or she eats like a bird for too long of a period of time there is a risk for some problems (rickets, scurvy, anemia, etc) but I think docs should educate on how to get those nutrients from whole real foods not supplements to a food stripped of it's value. My LO was severely anemic at 9 months. I knew she was high risk because she was premature. I should have pushed her ped harder at 6 months to test but I trusted him when he said she didn't need it until a year. Luckily we moved, switched peds and the new ped tested her at 9 months. On a bad day, I still wonder, if she were eating more solids or on formula or had I given her a vitamin supplement if that would have happened. That crap gets in my head but I know she got a lot of great things from my milk that she wouldn't have gotten from solids, formula, etc.

    This leads to a whole other complicated thread which has been on my mind lately. How I can I possibly live both the life I want to live as a strong independent feminist woman and as the kind of mother I want to be? How do I be an example of a strong woman to my daughter and give her the things I want to give her? I don't really know how to concisely write up this question right now (it's past 6 AM, I've been been up since midnight because I can't learn to NOT go to sleep when I nurse my daughter to bed and I'm trying to get a photo book put together before her 2cnd birthday on Saturday).

    This is way too long but it's post it long or not at all so sorry for all the rambling and thanks again for the support and interesting discussion.
    Lorraine

  7. #17
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    Jun 2009
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    Default Re: 2 yo begging for cow's milk

    Erica - Somehow missed your post where you talk about your difficulties nursing your 14 mo. I think making it to 12 months is awesome. Babies all wean at different times and you shouldn't feel bad if your little girl is ready. I feel totally lucky that I am fortunate enough to be able to stay home with my LO and have lots of help (with housecleaning and cooking) so that I can continue this crazy BF schedule. Our modern life has very rapidly changed the way we live. I don't think young mothers with nursing infants had so many responsibilities even just 200 years ago (this is totally a theory and not researched). I think extended families lived together and shared the work and everyone recognized that feeding the baby was an important job. There were plenty of aunts, siblings, grandparents, and cousins around to help with the baby and cleaning and food preparation for all (certainly young mothers didn't have to work outside the home). I hope I'm making sense. As I said I'm running on fumes. We all do the best with the resources we have.

  8. #18
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    Jun 2008
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    Default Re: 2 yo begging for cow's milk

    Lorraine,
    Thank-you so much. I hope you are still following and reading this thread. This is why I come to these forums - because it is one of the only places that I feel really understood about all the challenges of bf and being the kind of mom that I want to be in this changing and modern society. I totally agree with everything that you said! And one of my hugest struggles has been to be a attachment parenting mom in a society that pushes babies away, doesn't value their needs, and forces them to grow up early. I don't live the kind of life where I can devote all my energy into bf (I work full time, have a toddler, and my family does not live close to me). So, I do the best I can with what resources I have. Thank-you for encouraging me. I hope you know that you are also doing the best that you can for your daughter. It sounds like you also have had a lot of bf struggles. I know your sacrifice will pay off for you in the long run.
    Erica

    I'm Erica

    Mommy to "C" - currently 3 and half years old
    - nursed for one year

    and mommy to "M" - currently 2 years old
    - nursed for 23 months

    Wife to my handsome DH for 5 and a half years!

  9. #19
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    Jun 2009
    Posts
    11

    Default Re: 2 yo begging for cow's milk

    Erica- I'm still here reading this thread. Thanks for your kind words. I was up too late last night and shouldn't have typed such a big post (here I am up at midnight again, fell asleep again at 9 with my daughter, ugh). I'll try to keep it short. :-) It really is unfortunate that our society puts no value on child rearing. Of course there is value in a woman having a career and I think any woman who wants to should go for it but I think it's sad that so many woman HAVE to work and would stay at home if they could. It's so hard for me to reconcile the desire that I had in my early 20's to be a strong, independent, career woman with the ideals I have now about child rearing. I just don't see how I can do both. Any woman who is trying to do both (whether by choice or not) is truly amazing to me.
    Peace- Lorraine

  10. #20
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    Apr 2008
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    Default Re: 2 yo begging for cow's milk

    I just came in to say that when you register here at the LLL forums, you are asked to read the user agreement as well as some general info. In that info it states that we are here to support mothers who breastfeed in WHATEVER capacity they choose - whether it be 6 weeks, 7 months or 4 years. We don't only support mothers who choose to practice extended breastfeeding for 2+ years.
    Last edited by @llli*sch.mommy; August 25th, 2009 at 07:00 AM.
    ~Jenn~


    mother of 2 boys!
    08/14/98~~03/20/08

    Birth: 7lbs 12oz, 1 year: 22lbs 11oz
    until he self-weaned 4 days before his third birthday ... still on occasion ... and happily

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
    People need to understand that when they're deciding between breastmilk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available. ~Chele Marmet

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