Re: Would you give up nursing if...
You can let your DH know that, in my experience, conservative Christian Republican families are just as likely to do extended breastfeeding as the crunchy granola ones. Ask my conservative, born-again, spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child, Republican neighbor who BFed all her kids until age 2. BTW, they are some of the best behaved and nicest kids I've ever met.
there *are* in fact other mothers who breastfeed their children past the age of one, and that those mothers aren't all "granola hippies", as he put it.
I'd love to see it! I have yet to see any information from any reputable source that suggests that extended breastfeeding is damaging. Saying "I know there's plenty of 'research' out there saying extended breastfeeding is detrimental" is not the same as that being true!
Unfortunately, when presented with the research supporting breastfeeding beyond one, DH basically said that he could find just as much or MORE research supporting his views that breastfeeding past infancy is detrimental (he quoted some weirdo site of a mother nursing her 14 year old).
Your DH's "compromise" is not a compromise. It's an order masquerading as a compromise.
After much patience on my side, and much yelling on his, he laid down his "compromise": he wants me to write down a schedule of WHEN DD nurses, along with a plan for gradually decreasing the nursing sessions and a specific date when she'll be weaned. It felt ridiculous to me; I just follow DD's lead, I don't try to force her into things.
Good for you for refusing this ridiculous demand. I'm really saddened that your DH is using your child as a pawn in this dispute. Her needs should come first- that's parenting. And as bunnyscooltes said, when you co-parent you can't have everything your way, and you can't bully your partner into doing things your way.
When I flat out refused, and proposed that we work on nightweaning together, he demanded that I "daywean" ("I want to see you do it"), as in, I have to prove my willingness to BEND to his desires. Um. No.
Mama, I am so sorry you're having to deal with this. I am sure your DH has many fine qualities that make him worthy to be your husband and father of your child. But he has a bad blind spot.
Let us know what we can do to help.
Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"