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Thread: Would you give up nursing if...

  1. #61
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Gulf Shores, AL/Oxford, MS
    Posts
    152

    Default Re: Would you give up nursing if...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*Halfasianmomma View Post
    b) he thinks that it makes it impossible for others to babysit DD since she likes the boob for comfort and she can't go to sleep without it...

    g) finally, he believes that I'll always have an excuse to keep nursing DD (i.e. teething, illness, comfort), much like he'll always have an excuse to keep smoking or drinking beer...

    FTR, my parents have successfully babysat DD many times, and have both managed to put her to sleep without the boob (or sippy of EBM and soy milk worked fine). Her DCP also put her down for naps with a backrub. And my DSS has also managed to put DD down for a nap with his own method.
    First of all, I will just come right out and say that your husband smoking is not healthy for HIM, YOU, or your child. So he has some nerve telling you that mere BFing is making anyone unhealthy.

    Second of all, children act completely different around people who are not their parents. My DD does not need BM or soothing to sleep at daycare, but she does at home when I'm around!! It's just the way kids are. They have higher expectations of their own parents than they do of other family members and caretakers.

    And his threatening you with remarks like your daughter "not having her father in her life" is completely distasteful and unhealthy. In the event that you get a divorce, God forbid, it would be HIS responsibility to continue to be a big part of his daughter's life. He can never blame you for not being man enough to maintain a relationship with his own daughter. Him saying that, IMO, signals that if he can't have sex with you, he's going to drive himself out of his child's life "to show you." Does that make sense?

    Please, consider my thoughts only with a grain of salt. I don't know your situation and I wish the best for you in your marriage. I don't believe in divorce. But I just wanted to put my two cents in here.

    Good luck, mama.

    I'm a full-time single mama and a full-time law student!! Loving every minute!!


    Mommy to Izzy , born 8/23/08!!! Check out our blog!

    BW: 8lbs. 8oz., 20 in.
    3 months: 11 lbs. 14oz., 23 1/4 in.
    6 months: 17 lbs. 9oz., 26 1/2 in.
    9 months: 20 lbs. 0 oz., 27 in.
    12 months: 22 lbs. 12 oz., 28 3/4 in.
    15 months: 25 lbs. 12 oz., 29 3/4 in.

    for 18+ months! Now we only nurse on one side because mama's other side is predisposed to recurring mastitis!!

  2. #62
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    166

    Default Re: Would you give up nursing if...

    My husband started expressing concern. I told him that if he did the same research I did (ie the same books,sites,meetings, etc) and he still felt the same way- we would stop nursing.


    Lets just say we're still going strong at 15 months and all complaints have ceased.
    Jaxon (07/13/08) weaned at 27 months
    Alexa and Braxton (11/18/10). My NICU miracles.

    http://swallomlife.blogspot.com

    "This above all: to thine own self be true" -Hamlet

  3. #63
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    lookingforchange!!
    Posts
    846

    Default Re: Would you give up nursing if...


    He tried.....But I have to agree with Amy...
    He really is hitting you where it hurts...I would NOT give up nursing for these reasons...


    We've made it 1 YEAR




    A newborn baby has only three demands. They are warmth in the arms of its mother, food from her breasts, and security in the knowledge of her presence. Breastfeeding satisfies all three. ~Grantly Dick-Read

    Stacey

    Married to DH since 2001
    Mommy to Mikki 2006
    Mommy to Xander 2008

  4. #64

    Smile Re: Would you give up nursing if...

    I think you may want to teach your baby how to fall asleep on his own and allow him to play when he wants to nurse sometimes babies need a little distraction.

  5. #65

    Default Re: Would you give up nursing if...

    I know you asked if I would stop Bf, and I agree with all the other moms here, but let me answer your question with another question--what if you gave DH a job to do with the baby? I mean, if you could tell him, "why don't you start your own special bonding thing with the baby, and let me do mine?" If it is really a jealousy thing (as it sounds to me), starting his own "nursing" with your daughter might ease the strain between you two (you wouldn't be competing for Who's The Best Parent Award) and he might actually enjoy it! I know that when my husband decided to start putting our 18mo DD down to bed, using his own method and not involving the breast, the relationship between the two of them improved greatly (and in fact DD started to wean herself because she enjoyed Daddy's way so much). Just a thought, hope it helps.

  6. #66
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    84

    Default Re: Would you give up nursing if...

    Clearly, nursing is not the issue. Seems like he's feeling extremely insecure and needy and that's coming out in the ways he's striking out against you're relationship with your child. He's trying so hard to justify his behavior by blaming you AND your child, which neither of you deserve that. I think reason F on your list is obviously a cry for attention.
    Maybe set aside a date night every so often to prove that there is no clingy-ness issue and that there is no reason for him to try to make you choose between them.
    I will admit, my first reaction was anger and irritation, but try to look beyond that when confronting the issue.
    Good luck and stay strong! Your baby needs you!

    Jenn

    Married to my best friend - Feb '07
    Mommy to Gavin - May '09
    Mommy to Adrian - Jan '12
    with a surprise baby April '13


    Being a SAHM is not for the faint of heart!





    8May09: 7lbs 1.9oz
    12Jan12: 7lbs 8oz

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