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Thread: Joshua is regressing

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    2,393

    Default Joshua is regressing

    He was almost fully weaned, and the past couple days has been asking for "milkies" all the time. I am trying to limit him to a minute or two because I'm having issues nursing Jonah, and I don't want my supply to go up or down. I tell him that we have to wait for them to refill. I also tell him that he can have other foods because he has teeth. Jonah has no teeth, and all he can have is milk. He still refuses to unlatch and wants both sides. He empties me so fast because his mouth is so big. This may sound terrible, but I feel uncomfortable nursing him. I won't go into too many details, but I just feel very uncomfortable. It's just not the same, and doesn't feel right to me anymore . IAre all my nursing "hormones" just going to the baby? I try to grin and bear it because I know it means alot to him, but I just want to tear him off of me. Anyone else experience something similar? How can I gently wean him? He needs me, and it's hard on him because Jonah is ALWAYS with me (either in the sling, my arms, or nursing). I've been having Jonah nap in the swing once or twice a day so I can have some Joshua time. I try to do other things with him, but he only wants to nurse. Any thoughts/suggestions?

    Kathryn,
    Mama to my sweet blueberry eyed boy Joshua
    born on 11/2/2006

    and my blueberry eyed baby Jonah Henry...my water birth baby!
    born on 6/15/09



    MOBY WRAPS ROCK

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
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    4,007

    Default Re: Joshua is regressing



    I haven't been there, so take my suggestions with a grain of salt ... but what if you pumped a little (maybe let him watch) and put it in a cup? So he sees that it's mommy's milk in there? And then maybe when he's use to the cup you can put other "special" stuff in there - stuff that Jonah can't have
    ~Jenn~


    mother of 2 boys!
    08/14/98~~03/20/08

    Birth: 7lbs 12oz, 1 year: 22lbs 11oz
    until he self-weaned 4 days before his third birthday ... still on occasion ... and happily

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
    People need to understand that when they're deciding between breastmilk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available. ~Chele Marmet

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    1,081

    Default Re: Joshua is regressing

    I understand what you mean about it not feeling the same to nurse your toddler after nursing your baby. I feel that way too. Emma (32mo) would like to nurse several times a day, but I tell her she can only nurse in the morning, and off one side. And if she doesn't unlatch after the 1 minute warning that time is almost up, I tell her she won't be nursing the next morning, and then she unlatches. I explained to her one time that it's a nice thing that she gets to nurse still so she needs to be nice to mommy because I'm being nice to her, which means she has to stop when I ask her to.

    When I nurse Owen, I do things with her - often I read to her. Then she's getting some attention too.

    It made a big difference for me to just nurse Emma once a day - maybe that would work for you so he still gets that one time, but it's better on you? You could also try saying something like "you may nurse off one side while I sing a song - what song would you like me to sing and do you want me to sing it one time or two times?" I've done this and she likes that she's making some choices. Other things I've tried is when she asks, I tell her, in a really positive fun-like way, that she gets to nurse in the morning when the sun comes up. I've offered her something else, like a sugar-free lollipop or juice (V8 fusion) when I really need something to distract her. She does cry sometimes but I will offer to cuddle her or do something else with her and I stick to it.

    It's hard, sorry you have this on your plate too! Hope some of these ideas help.
    Mommy to:

    Emmalynn Marie
    Born at 37 weeks on 12/22/06
    5lbs 1oz 19 1/2in

    Owen Charles
    Born at 29 wks 6 days on 01/17/09
    2lbs 14oz 15in
    In NICU for 2 months


  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    Default Re: Joshua is regressing

    thanks for the suggestions. I like the idea of singing a song. It's hard for me to play with Joshua while nursing Jonah, because Jonah will only nurse in a quiet dark room. Otherwise he is frantic and will not latch on. I'm hoping that changes with time, so I can read with Joshua while Jonah nurses. I don't want Joshua to grow resentful. I am making an effort to try and spend time with Joshua throughout the day, and put Jonah down a few times. It's hard. I want to give them both 100%, and I can't. It's just so darn hard. I wish I didn't feel so uncomfortable about nursing Joshua.

    Kathryn,
    Mama to my sweet blueberry eyed boy Joshua
    born on 11/2/2006

    and my blueberry eyed baby Jonah Henry...my water birth baby!
    born on 6/15/09



    MOBY WRAPS ROCK

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    1,081

    Default Re: Joshua is regressing

    I can't imagine how hard it's been for you. I feel for you and I really hope it gets much easier really soon. I know you want to give them both 100% and it's frustrating when you don't feel like you are, but remember you are one person and can do so much. I think you're amazing - you have gone through so much! Having 2 kids is MUCH harder than I thought it would be. Good luck, hope the singing helps!
    Mommy to:

    Emmalynn Marie
    Born at 37 weeks on 12/22/06
    5lbs 1oz 19 1/2in

    Owen Charles
    Born at 29 wks 6 days on 01/17/09
    2lbs 14oz 15in
    In NICU for 2 months


  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    8,591

    Default Re: Joshua is regressing

    If you are uncomfortable because of your worry about supply issues, don't be. Your body will adjust to nursing 2, even if Joshua doesn't continue wanting to nurse a lot. If its some other reason, then I'm sorry. I agree about setting limits. I sometimes count, sometimes sing, etc. Sometimes I feel like I am totally done nursing Haylee, and lately I feel like I could continue nursing Haylee but I am totally done with Waylon. He is driving me bonkers, wanting to nurse all the time. BUT, I am also really tender right now so I am limiting his nursing and he is resisting big time. But limit setting may be just what Joshua needs--a song, counting, only nursing before bed/nap, or whatever feels okay. That will make it easier on your supply too, knowing when your breasts will need to make Joshua's milk.

    Its hard. Do'nt feel too guilty. Jonah will be old enough, soon enough, that you WILL forget how much guilt you felt at first.

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
    Miles in 2011: 708.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 509)
    Miles in 2010: 800.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 620)

    January Miles: 37.5/75
    February Miles: 59/75
    March Miles: 42.5/60
    April Miles: 64
    May Miles: 41/70
    June Miles: 59
    July Miles: 39.5

    227.5 miles on my new shoes
    338 miles on my old shoes

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
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    1,177

    Default Re: Joshua is regressing

    I haven't felt too uncomfortable nursing Jack yet. Sometimes it drives me crazy but nothing terrible. Can you try distracting him with something fun to do? Nothing involving cuddling or sitting down. That is just going to remind him of nursing. Playing with a ball, helping you cook, even just running around?
    You've gotten lots of other good ideas.

    Jenn
    Mom to - DD1 10/5/05, DS 6/27/07 & DD2 6/18/09

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    2,738

    Default Re: Joshua is regressing

    Mama to my Rubies
    C '07
    A '09
    And my Christmas Eve baby
    L '12
    I will carry you all my life
    And I will praise the one who's chosen me to carry you
    W Apr '11
    R Nov '11
    The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart. *Helen Kellar*

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    Default Re: Joshua is regressing

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*moose View Post
    If you are uncomfortable because of your worry about supply issues, don't be.
    The discomfort is more of an awkward...almost sexual-like feeling. I hate to say it, but almost like I am being violated. I know that sounds terrible, but I don't choose to feel this way. It just happens. I feel like I just want him away from me. I hate that I feel that way, because I always loved nursing Joshua, and I want to meet his needs.

    I am also concerned with the supply because Jonah is already having a hard time handling my let-downs. Joshua is just stimulating more milk production.

    Kathryn,
    Mama to my sweet blueberry eyed boy Joshua
    born on 11/2/2006

    and my blueberry eyed baby Jonah Henry...my water birth baby!
    born on 6/15/09



    MOBY WRAPS ROCK

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    1,177

    Default Re: Joshua is regressing

    During preg I had the feeling of just get this kid off of me. If your that uncomfortable you need to find a way to limit him.

    Jenn
    Mom to - DD1 10/5/05, DS 6/27/07 & DD2 6/18/09

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