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Thread: do I just butt out?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,950

    Default do I just butt out?

    A freind of mine has a duaghter my age(early 30'3) I will refer to as T. T has an 18 month old and an almost 3 week old. My freind recently went to visit, and help care for the kids. She was giving the 3 week old rice cereal in formula bottles to get her to sleep thru the night. I was HORRIFIED to say the least. I want to help inform her on that decision, but I am not sure if I should just butt out or find info to pass along to T, maybe she just dosent know that isnt good for her baby? The baby sleeps 4-5 hours at night, but they want her to sleep longer, that is the reason for adding cereal.

    I usually dont add my 2 cents, as everyone has the right to bring up their child as they wish. But I feel as though she is harming this child. I dont know if her Dr is aware of the cereal ting either. I cant imagine any Dr agreeing to give such a young baby cereal in forumla..not even 3 weeks yet!

    Any advice for me? I do want to say something but I am not sure if I should or what to say even. Baby is formula fed, not BF.
    Mommy of 4,
    3 who I watch over, 1 who watches over all of us

    J- 8/20/05 pumped breastmilk for 11 months due to his cleft lip and palate!

    M- 10/17/07 my precious baby lives forever in her mommys heart

    M- 3/31/09 my special gift, she helps heal her mommy and daddys heart. Nursed for 4 years and 10 days, self weaned the day her baby brother was born!

    E-, new little miracle born 4/11/13, my BIG baby! Born 8.6 at 38 weeks. At 9 weeks nearly 17lbs, at 12 weeks nearly 20lbs, at 6 months nearly 23lbs, at 8 months nearly 25lbs and all from BREASTMILK


  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    At the other end of the breast
    Posts
    292

    Default Re: do I just butt out?

    I personally do not think u should butt out. What they are doing is hazardous to the child and extremely selfish on the adult's part. Hopefully it is just a lack of knowledge and with information this behavior will change.

    Proud Vegetarian Momma

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    4,007

    Default Re: do I just butt out?

    I would say something. But that's me.

    What's the worst that could happen? She'll ignore you and keep doing it anyway. It's worth a shot IMO.

    ETA: You could say it in a non-confrontational way, like ... "yeah, my grandmother did that with my mother - it was common practice for a long time. Ya know, now they have new guidelines for feeding cereal and solids. Apparently, now that they know more about baby's tummies they realize that the tummy/digestive system just isn't ready for solids and damage can be done to the lining of the intestines. It's normal for babies to sleep about 2 hours at a time, hang in there - she'll be sleeping through the night before you know it"
    Last edited by @llli*sch.mommy; July 20th, 2009 at 07:25 AM.
    ~Jenn~


    mother of 2 boys!
    08/14/98~~03/20/08

    Birth: 7lbs 12oz, 1 year: 22lbs 11oz
    until he self-weaned 4 days before his third birthday ... still on occasion ... and happily

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
    People need to understand that when they're deciding between breastmilk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available. ~Chele Marmet

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    9,280

    Default Re: do I just butt out?

    There are lots of reasons why this is a really dangerous idea, especially for a 3 week old!!! Babies are not supposed to be so full that they don't wake up to eat. Light sleep and frequent waking is a protection for young babies. Deep sleep is a cause of SIDS (that is why we dont put them on their tummies to sleep).

    Cereal in a bottle is a choking hazard. Particles can be inhaled and enter the lungs.

    Cereal in a bottle can lead to obesity.

    Introducing solids this early can cause digestion issues and allergies.

    I would offer this info for the protection of the child. What the mom does with this info is up to her, but if she doesnt heed your advice, she is pretty selfish, IMO.
    Lyn
    Nursing the girl with kaleidoscope eyes


    Mama to Daniel (12/3/06) and Lucy Jane (8/28/08)

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,950

    Default Re: do I just butt out?

    thanks, I felt the need to say something but needed a little reassurance!

    From knowing T and about her parenting skills, I am pretty certain there will be no changes made, but at least I will know I said something!
    Mommy of 4,
    3 who I watch over, 1 who watches over all of us

    J- 8/20/05 pumped breastmilk for 11 months due to his cleft lip and palate!

    M- 10/17/07 my precious baby lives forever in her mommys heart

    M- 3/31/09 my special gift, she helps heal her mommy and daddys heart. Nursed for 4 years and 10 days, self weaned the day her baby brother was born!

    E-, new little miracle born 4/11/13, my BIG baby! Born 8.6 at 38 weeks. At 9 weeks nearly 17lbs, at 12 weeks nearly 20lbs, at 6 months nearly 23lbs, at 8 months nearly 25lbs and all from BREASTMILK


  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    1,710

    Default Re: do I just butt out?

    Is it your friend who is doing this, or T, or both? If it's just T, I'd say talk to your friend and leave it to her to deal with. If both, or just your friend, I would approach her carefully and bring some literature with you from a reliable source like a medical organization (not a random website, even if it's one you really trust personally), particularly about the choking hazard. Just say you're concerned about safety, and suggest she talk to her pediatrician about it.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,950

    Default Re: do I just butt out?

    it is BOTH of them doing it.
    Mommy of 4,
    3 who I watch over, 1 who watches over all of us

    J- 8/20/05 pumped breastmilk for 11 months due to his cleft lip and palate!

    M- 10/17/07 my precious baby lives forever in her mommys heart

    M- 3/31/09 my special gift, she helps heal her mommy and daddys heart. Nursed for 4 years and 10 days, self weaned the day her baby brother was born!

    E-, new little miracle born 4/11/13, my BIG baby! Born 8.6 at 38 weeks. At 9 weeks nearly 17lbs, at 12 weeks nearly 20lbs, at 6 months nearly 23lbs, at 8 months nearly 25lbs and all from BREASTMILK


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