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Thread: Self-Weaning?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    329

    Unhappy Self-Weaning?

    I had planned to nurse as long as DD (now 13.5 months) desired, but it seems she doesn't want her mommy milk anymore .

    I use to nurse 3-4 times a day during the week (I work FT) and about 6-7 times on the weekends. One of my favorite nursing times was right after DD was home from daycare. But last night, as for the past several weeks, she'd take a sip or two and start crying and wriggling away from me! Then last night, for the very first time in her life, Maya didn't want to nurse before bed! Whenever I put her to my breast she would cry. Finally I just put her to bed. She cuddled up with her blanket and went to sleep.

    This has me very sad because I don't want this to end. My husband and everyone else is telling me I should be happy, that I'm "free" again, and that Maya is "too big, anyway" to still be nursing. But I don't feel this way at all. To make matters worse, my milk supply is way down since I am only pumping (for daycare)about half of what I use to.

    Is this how babies self wean? Could I be jumping to conclusions? She is teething (molars) and I noticed over the past few days her suck is different (more slurpy sounding) and she has been biting me. Perhaps this is just another phase? Has anyone gone through something similar?

  2. #2
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: Self-Weaning?

    Hi Maya's Mom,
    So your dd will ask to nurse or seem to want to nurse but then when she gets to the breast she gets upset instead? They are all so different but usually when they start to cut back on nursing on their own they aren't upset by it. When they are upset it may be a signal that it's more of a nursing strike. If you think that's what it might be, you could check out this recent thread. http://lalecheleague.org/vbulletin/s...ead.php?t=7235

    Mary

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    14

    Default Re: Self-Weaning?

    Quote Originally Posted by Maya's Mom

    This has me very sad because I don't want this to end. My husband and everyone else is telling me I should be happy, that I'm "free" again, and that Maya is "too big, anyway" to still be nursing. But I don't feel this way at all.
    Hi, It seems very similar to what I am going through, which I believe to be a nursing strike. I have read on this and other web sites that babies rarely (if at all) wean with an abrupt end like this as it is almost always a gradule process.

    I wanted to quote a bit of your post as this bit too struck home to me too. it's very hard when other people give their opinion on when it is a good time to stop and like you I don't it to end like this. so if you want to keep nursing then keep offering the breast without pressure (hard when you are stressed) and have lots of skin to skin contact and spend some nice chilled time just hanging out with your little one. I maybe shouldn't give advice on this as I am still going through it myself (4th day), but I have been reading lots and trying lots of things............

    I hope the both of us can post soon with nrews that it's all gone back to normal

    good luck!

    girlontheseesaw

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    80

    Default Re: Self-Weaning?

    Man, this timing is weird. I've been dealing with the SAME thing for the past couple of weeks. She no longer wants to nurse at night. She gets up about once a night to nurse but not before going to bed. She too is very very distracted when trying to nurse during the day. I have to say though, I've been doing all of the stuff I have read to do and it does seem like the past two days she has nursed and WANTED to nurse more. Not as good as before but def. better than the past couple of weeks. My dd just turned a year old on the 22nd of Aug, so you've gone passed us. I also wanted to say that I read that babies who can self soothe, with a pacifier, sucking their thumb, a blankie, a doll, or etc. will sometimes wean much earlier than other babies, because they don't need to nurse for that comfort. My dd has a blankie and she sucks her two middle fingers. She could very well be one who will self wean early, but I'm NOT ready and I don't think it would be best for her right now either. I'm hoping she will pick it all back up!! Good luck!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    4

    Default Re: Self-Weaning?

    Hi! Mine all self weaned too with no crying or screaming or any of that.When they weaned it was a quiet event...just stopped cold turkey some of them or eased off . Longest nursling I had was 19mths. I hope if its a nursing strike your baby gets over it and gets back to nursing.

  6. #6
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: Self-Weaning?

    nursing still isn't going well. we maybe have one good feed, usually at night. the rest of the times she wriggles away from me and cries. i think she is ready to stop, problem is i'm not! over the weekend i offered her the breast practically every two hours and asked her if she wanted some milk. she shook her head no each time and scooted away from me. problem is, she also has a decreased interest in all other foods too, cows milk, solids. she just wants to go go all the time!

    this morning i took a picture of her while she was nursing because i fear our nursing relationship may end soon. i keep pumping to keep up my supply, hoping this is just a phase. but it has gone on for several weeks now and i'm really discouraged.

    i can already see she will be a very independent person--and i'm proud of that. she only wants to feed herself, brush her own teeth etc. and she self soothes with her fingers and a blanket. but i had hoped we could continue nursing for a while longer. i have always taken her lead and if she is ready to stop then i guess i have to be too

  7. #7
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    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: Self-Weaning?

    That's a wonderful idea about the pictures. I had some nursing pictures taken when DS was about 4months. I have a little artistic picture of him nursing with his littlle hands holding the boob. It sits in a silver frame by my bed and I treasure it, even before it's over. I know a few good photographers in the area if you're interested.

    I'm not as far along as you, but my 8mo old is also very busy - could it be a motor skills development phase that is changing your LO's interest in food? I aks because it seems to me that if she's losing interest in all food, it's not nursing but something else.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    50

    Default Re: Self-Weaning?

    I'm sorry that you're having to go through this. It sounds like she is teething if she's refusing other food and drink as well. It would be nice if others were more understanding of what you're feeling and going through. I offer you my best wishes that everything will turn out ok.

  9. #9
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    Jan 2006
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    329

    Default Re: Self-Weaning?

    I hope this is just a phase. there are many things going on in Maya's life right now. the biggest being mobility. Maya has some inner-ear and low muscle tone issues that have held her gross motor skills back. Until about three weeks ago, she basically just sat in one place or sometimes scooted backwards or in circles. But one day she just started scooting forward EVERYWHERE. she loves her new mobility, problem is--all she wants to do is explore. I think she is where most kids were at 8 or 9 months. We are working with a PT and have an appointment with an ear, nose throat doctor, too. So I hope to see her walking someday soon.

    Maya is also being transitioned to the Toddler room at daycare, which means being switched to one nap a day at daycare. I think this is throwing her off too.

    So maybe all of these transitions are throwing our nursing relationship off. I keep pumping but my supply has really diminished. My left breast was totally soft this morning Plus-something must be up with my hormones because I am so sad all of the time, I cry on my way to work each morning.

    Thank goodness for this site, otherwise I'd have nobody to talk to about this.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    1,168

    Default Re: Self-Weaning?

    Gail, I got sad and unusually weepy when my FOUR-YEAR-OLD finally weaned. And that was the most gradual, drawn-out weaning ever, I think. You are experiencing normal biochemical processes of a fairly sudden drop-off in nursing. Plus, you were not emotionally prepared for this, so you've got a lot of adjusting to do all at once.

    I will encourage you in your hopes that this disinterest or nursing strike is a temporary thing. When my son was 2.5 years old, we came home from an extended trip and put him into full-time daycare the next day. With all the changes and excitement, he didn't nurse for six days straight, and I assumed he was weaned, over and out, finito. Then on day seven, I guess it just occurred to him that there was this nice thing we used to do together, and he asked to nurse again, and we were immediately back to 3-4 nursings a day.

    I know you are worried about your supply, and given how young Maya is, I think you are wise to make an effort to maintain your supply by pumping. But if your supply does reduce, even by a lot, remember that all she needs to do is start nursing again and it will come back pretty quickly. I'm willing to bet that once those molars come through, thing will go back to normal, or nearly normal. In the meantime, have you tried nursing her when she is sleeping or just barely beginning to wake up? That super-relaxed state of consciousness may make it easier for her "baby" instincts to come to the fore.

    --Rebecca

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