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Thread: Sad about weaning

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2009

    Default Sad about weaning

    DS is 18 mo and I have been weaning him b/c we are TTC and don't want the kids to be too far apart in age. I have not really gotten AF back (only 36 hrs of slight flow at 18 mo) and so have figured I may be one of those women who have to wean to regain fertility.

    The problem is I FEEL SO GUILTY about weaning DS. He is only nursing before bed at this point, would definitely nurse in the morning if I let him. He is OK with not nursing in am, can be distracted, but certainly asks to nurse and then I have to tell him no. This makes me feel like a horrible mother.

    I don't know if it is normal to feel so guilty and sad - I wish I could nurse him through my next pregnancy, but don't know if its possible. How do you mamas justify your decision to wean without feeling that you are cutting LOs off before they are ready? I want so badly to do what is best for DS, but we also want to have more kiddos - it just seems to hard and sad.
    Mommy to DS - 12/29/2007 and DD - 4/11/2010
    We are taking tandem nursing day by day

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008

    Default Re: Sad about weaning

    The most calming advise I have is - the nursing relationship needs to work for both baby and mama. When you get to the point it's not working for both of you, that when you evaluate your situation. I know it's heart breaking to end the nursing relationship with your lo. So lot of hugs Just so you know it could possibly take more time for AF to return so don't be surprised if it doesn't return two weeks after you stop nursing I wanted to do baby led weaning but it wasn't working for me. I felt incredibly guilty the first session I cut out. My heart ached more than I imagined but after a few days we both adapted to it. I made sure lo was still having her needs met even though it wasn't through nursing, we played new games and read books and got a sippy cup full of ice water. We're down to night time only and occasionally she'll ask for milkies in the night, it breaks my heart to tell her no but that's not what works for both of us anymore. Most importantly find a new activity to do with lo, one that will help you feel like you're still giving plenty of love and lo feels like you still love him more than anything. I'm sorry about the guilt. Many of us go through it, even if lo weans on his own. You need to do what's best for you and your family And good job for making it 18 months...what a lucky baby!
    I'm Jill
    Mother to
    Bear 12/13/98
    Bagalli 8/5/07
    little (3/21/09).
    Kafessa: 5/17/10
    expecting 10/1/11

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