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Thread: Under pressure to quit!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    27

    Default Under pressure to quit!!

    I am ep'ing as my son has a very weak latch and I have not had the support to find the time to try and correct this. He is 3.5 months old and I am now under heaps of pressure to stop this as I am exhausted.

    I am pumping 7 times a day and my son is feeding 7/8 times a day and had been providing plenty for his needs. The pressure started when people quietly wondered whether I could reduce to 6. I explained that this would reduce the supply at which point the whole "well you are tired, baby has had the best of it," etc etc etc.

    It was at this point where I started to feel under so much pressure from my husband and parents that my production went way down , I am now in floods of tears all the time and at the point where i am pumping for an hour or so to try and get a decent volume, and not getting more than 5oz where my son is taking 8oz per feed. I have noticed that my breasts are taking longer to feel full so can only assume supply is dwindling in real terms as well as in "let down" terms.

    My husband is offering less support at weekends so I am unable to recharge and this is obviously affecting my energy levels, contributing to the problem, combined with the fact he now arranges visitors and trips "for family time" which eat even more into my pumping time.

    No amount of discussing the mechanics of supply/demand seem to work - all they do is pile on more negativity - negativity for a situation which was tough but doable and now seems impossible.

    Is there anything I can do in this situation or am I doomed?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,950

    Default Re: Under pressure to quit!!

    So sorry that you have no support with this. I pumped for 11 months for my son as he had a cleft lip and palate. I started pumping AFTER each feed, and did it round the clock. Aside from immediate family, most people had no idea. My family were suportive though. I would tell others to mind their own business. I would tell Dh that you are saving a bundle on formula,and you are providing for your baby what he is supposed to be eating. If he wont help you with baby, then start to let things go around the house. Take care of yo and your son first...everything else can wait.

    i hope the situation improves for you. Stay STRONG anf dont give into to the pressure.
    Mommy of 4,
    3 who I watch over, 1 who watches over all of us

    J- 8/20/05 pumped breastmilk for 11 months due to his cleft lip and palate!

    M- 10/17/07 my precious baby lives forever in her mommys heart

    M- 3/31/09 my special gift, she helps heal her mommy and daddys heart. Nursed for 4 years and 10 days, self weaned the day her baby brother was born!

    E-, new little miracle born 4/11/13, my BIG baby! Born 8.6 at 38 weeks. At 9 weeks nearly 17lbs, at 12 weeks nearly 20lbs, at 6 months nearly 23lbs, at 8 months nearly 25lbs and all from BREASTMILK


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,950

    Default Re: Under pressure to quit!!

    I also wanted to add to keep the big picture in mind...your son wont be breastfed forever! It may seem horribly inconvenient for now, but when he is a few years old and you look back at this time, it will seem like ages ago and it wont matter what time it took to do. I look back at the times I spent attached to the pump, my son is now almost 4. It may have been difficult or inconvenient or not what I had planned, but it is LOOOONG over with!
    Mommy of 4,
    3 who I watch over, 1 who watches over all of us

    J- 8/20/05 pumped breastmilk for 11 months due to his cleft lip and palate!

    M- 10/17/07 my precious baby lives forever in her mommys heart

    M- 3/31/09 my special gift, she helps heal her mommy and daddys heart. Nursed for 4 years and 10 days, self weaned the day her baby brother was born!

    E-, new little miracle born 4/11/13, my BIG baby! Born 8.6 at 38 weeks. At 9 weeks nearly 17lbs, at 12 weeks nearly 20lbs, at 6 months nearly 23lbs, at 8 months nearly 25lbs and all from BREASTMILK


  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    1,601

    Default Re: Under pressure to quit!!

    Do you have a LLL meeting in your area? If you do, get thy self to one ASAP.

    I'm really stubborn when it comes to things like this. I'd probably tell my husband that he was making things 100x worse, that I wasn't going to let anyone decide when my baby and I would wean, that he'd be going on trips alone and that I would never ever in a million years forgive him for forcing me to quit. Maybe he gets the message, maybe he doesn't.

    You can do this though. WE believe in you. EPing is HARD. It's doable though. Sort of like birth. It's just a blip in your babies life, like the PP said. It goes SOOOO fast you can't even believe.

    Try your baby at your breast, at the very least it might help stimulate that let down that your working so hard for. Come here when you pump. Print out articles on how good it is for your baby. Meditate, pray, thing about milk flowing, do whatever you've got to do. You can do this.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    14

    Default Re: Under pressure to quit!!

    Sorry to hear your family isn't being very supportive. If they think you spending time to pump/breastfeed is inconvient, tell them to think about having to rely solely on formula. Not only is it bloody expensive but when you need it most, you realize you're completely out! You're the momma trying to do what's best for your baby. If you want to provide your LO with the best, then you continue. I was doing a middle of the night pump that made me feel like a zombie during the day. I decided to cut that out and it made a world of difference.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    24

    Default Re: Under pressure to quit!!

    I agree with all the moms! You do what is BEST for you and baby Everyone else can just piss off How dare they even make you feel this way when you are providing your baby the best milk possible...stay strong and let your little one's smile keep you going
    GL!!!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    48

    Default Re: Under pressure to quit!!

    Sorry to hear that your family is so unsupportive. These forums are amazing when you are feeling down and pressured.
    When I started pumping (I had to go to work when LO was 2mo) I was getting 6-8 oz after a 4 hour shift and baby would eat it all in 1 feeding the next day. If I only got 6oz I would spend all night pumping after he ate so I could get a couple more oz for him the next day.
    Some ppl on here suggested dh only give him 6oz at a feeding instead of 8. We tried it and lo was more content after a feeding than when he had 8oz.
    With a bottle he eats till its gone but on the breast he eats till hes done. I think he was stuffing himself. He is now 5mo and still only eats 6oz while im at work.....but if I compare my milk now to the milk 3 months ago its much thicker and richer...so Im rotating my stock
    Also around 3-4 months your body adjusts to making milk and your supply becomes more established. Around then mine also feel less full and I lose the engorged feeling (unless he has a really good nap)
    Being stressed while pumping can hinder it though. If Im upset or stressed I get 3-4 oz less than if I'm relaxed and content.
    Hope things get better for you soon and Dh understands more. Just remember this is best for both you and baby....and if you can get to a LC (maybe one of your family time trips ) and see if you can get baby to breast.
    Married to the best since 08/03!
    WR-08/06/07 8lbs6oz ebf 8months!
    GS-09/02/09 10lbs2ozs naturally!
    Goal 1 year!!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    27

    Default Re: Under pressure to quit!!

    Just to say TYVM for all the support .

    Things in the supply dept seem to be holding their own although it is still taking FOREVER. Getting one of those handsfree bra things has at least meant I can play with the baby while I abuse my body so maybe that will help me relax eventually. If I can get to 6 months I'll be dead chuffed (trans: very pleased) as i expect DS's consultant will strongly advise starting on semi solids at that point to reduce the reflux damage on his suture line.

    Am chugging oatmeal, herbs, essential fatty acids and anything else I can think of to boost supply. I have a feeling that I will keep plugging away until either they cart me away to the nearest loony bin or I collapse.

    Will keep you posted if I get the opportunity just to update the situation.

    As to the breast thing? Well we have "mummy cuddles" every day and that is fab. No more than snacking but still lovely just to hear him nibble away

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