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Thread: I'm losing ME!

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    8,018

    Default Re: I'm losing ME!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*airportmom View Post
    And Molly, yes, DH is demanding - but so am I....I expect him to do all of HIS JOBS and he expects me to do all mine....So we play off eachother....I don't fix a thing in my house, or wash cars, or take out the garbage and obviously a bunch of other 'his' jobs - so we do push eachother but I do take care of the kids, for the most part.
    That makes sense. Your first post gave me the impression that he was not stepping up. DH and I have certain tasks that one of us usually takes care of, too. Even so, IMHO it might help you to give over some of the childcare duties, at least once every week or so for a few hours. Even an hour or two can be sanity-saving. If DH won't do it, what about a babysitter for a couple hours?
    Also, I reiterate my suggestion of "outsourcing" some tasks. Example: DH usually mows the lawn but when we are really busy we hire a neighbor kid to do it for $20, well spent. We have even been known to hire a housecleaning service occassionally when we fall behind.
    We also don't have super high standards for cleanliness around here! I mean, we keep the kitchen and bathrooms clean and we keep up with dishes and laundry, but dusting and vacuuming are only every 2-3 weeks. I'm not embarrassed because I'd rather have a little more time for my kids, my DH and myself than have a spotless house. It's a personal choice.

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    lookingforchange!!
    Posts
    846

    Default Re: I'm losing ME!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mollyb View Post
    That makes sense. Your first post gave me the impression that he was not stepping up. DH and I have certain tasks that one of us usually takes care of, too. Even so, IMHO it might help you to give over some of the childcare duties, at least once every week or so for a few hours. Even an hour or two can be sanity-saving. If DH won't do it, what about a babysitter for a couple hours?
    Also, I reiterate my suggestion of "outsourcing" some tasks. Example: DH usually mows the lawn but when we are really busy we hire a neighbor kid to do it for $20, well spent. We have even been known to hire a housecleaning service occassionally when we fall behind.
    We also don't have super high standards for cleanliness around here! I mean, we keep the kitchen and bathrooms clean and we keep up with dishes and laundry, but dusting and vacuuming are only every 2-3 weeks. I'm not embarrassed because I'd rather have a little more time for my kids, my DH and myself than have a spotless house. It's a personal choice.
    I totally agree with you...I do have a babysitter who actually lives-in due to my crazy work sked - but when I get home, she's off. Since she takes care of the kids all day - I never want to bother her to take care of them longer, but if I offer to pay her - I migt feel better about it....I'm going to ask her..
    Thanks ladies for all the great advice....


    We've made it 1 YEAR




    A newborn baby has only three demands. They are warmth in the arms of its mother, food from her breasts, and security in the knowledge of her presence. Breastfeeding satisfies all three. ~Grantly Dick-Read

    Stacey

    Married to DH since 2001
    Mommy to Mikki 2006
    Mommy to Xander 2008

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    24

    Default Re: I'm losing ME!

    I hear you!!! I feel the same way! There is so much to get done and not enough time for it all...and who gets left behind? We do...I am lucky some days to be out of my pjs by 1pm My kids will be dressed and fed, but I am cleaning the house or packing things for a day at the park. It is exhausting and I do feel guilty, especially when i get short-tempered with my husband or even the kids. Being a mother is a full-time job, but how do you manage that and another full-time job?! Just know that you are NOT alone---there are many of us that are going through the same thing.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    24

    Default Re: I'm losing ME!

    You're not alone...I am getting so frustrated with EVERYTHING! There's so much to do and I feel like I am the only one that can get it done...on top of that, I still haven't been able to concentrate on myself, to try to get back into some sort of post-prego shape ;( For me, what has helped is mentally telling myself that this is just a stage in my life and things will get better...baby will be older and in a better routine, my breasts won't ache as much, a fairy will come to clean the house--LOL!
    Hope you feel better knowing that many other moms have those same feelings

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    399

    Default Re: I'm losing ME!

    My son is seven months, and I feel the same way, though I feel like in the last month or so, my husband and I have gotten into enough a routine that there is some sort of light at the end of the tunnel. I've started riding my bike to work (combining commute + exercise), baby is in great routine, breast feeding is a no brainer. It's not easy, this life, and you have got to speak up if you feel like you need more time. My DH is much better about taking time he needs for himself; I tend to put everyone's needs before mine. you don't want to become tired, frustrated, nagging, etc. It's bad for you, it's bad for your marriage, it's bad for your children. I keep telling myself, this is not my burden, these are my gifts. But to keep feeling that way, I need a breather now and then!
    Ellen

    Mama-surgeon;
    DS Ethan 12/16/2008
    Breast fed/pumped 11 months as a surgical resident, 80 hours a week at work
    DS Abram Daniel 12/20/2012
    Feel like we've gotten a strong start

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    lookingforchange!!
    Posts
    846

    Default Re: I'm losing ME!

    So I took some time yesterday to do something for me...
    DS and I went to a LLL meeting....It actually made me feel better...
    Oh, and I actually took 30mins the other day while DH watched the kids, I locked myself in my room and gave myself a manicure and pedicure!!!
    Next time, I go to the salon!!!


    We've made it 1 YEAR




    A newborn baby has only three demands. They are warmth in the arms of its mother, food from her breasts, and security in the knowledge of her presence. Breastfeeding satisfies all three. ~Grantly Dick-Read

    Stacey

    Married to DH since 2001
    Mommy to Mikki 2006
    Mommy to Xander 2008

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