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Thread: I'm losing ME!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
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    lookingforchange!!
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    Default I'm losing ME!

    Just looking for advice from some Mommas....
    How do you all do it?
    I work, full time, have two beautiful children, a demanding DH and a house full of chores....Where do you find the time for Mommy??
    I'm not sure if I'm being selfish or vain - but I work in an airport with loads of people and sometimes I arrive at work looking.like.hell! (not that I care what they think - I say this b/c I see myself and i DO.NOT.LOOK.GOOD!!!)
    And forget when I have to go grocery shopping - I'm a trainwreck!
    I just feel so busy taking care of everything in my house - I feel like I never take care of me!
    I feel so bad saying this - I just sometimes look at other woman and am amazed how they do their hair, make-up, nails and look good when I'm lucky I was able to put my panties on the right way while running out the door?!??

    Am I being selfish or is there a way - and I just don't see it yet?
    And those SAHM moms - I guarantee go through the same issues...so whatever advice you have, please.please, share.....


    We've made it 1 YEAR




    A newborn baby has only three demands. They are warmth in the arms of its mother, food from her breasts, and security in the knowledge of her presence. Breastfeeding satisfies all three. ~Grantly Dick-Read

    Stacey

    Married to DH since 2001
    Mommy to Mikki 2006
    Mommy to Xander 2008

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    2,005

    Default Re: I'm losing ME!

    Proud mom of 2 boys, both weaned gradually and with love.


    Find a local LLL leader

    For each and every one of us, the person from whom we can learn the most is our own baby: listen to him. - Mary White, LLL co-founder

    The best-kept secret in child psychology is that children who were never spanked are among the best behaved."
    Murray Straus, Ph.D.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    4,836

    Default Re: I'm losing ME!

    First off, I really try to get out on my own at least once a week or every 2 weeks. I know you probably feel guilty about your time away as it is, but maybe you could go to the bookstore or something before or after work once a week?

    Second, I would go to a good hairstylist and tell her you need something wash and go. Maybe you could shower at night after the kids are in bed, blow dry and then just smooth it out in the morning?

    It also only takes me about 5 minutes to put on makeup. I do concealer, a little foundation, mascara, blush and eyeliner.

    If I am really pushed for time, I do one or the other, hair or makeup, but I do at least one before I leave the house.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    5,883

    Default Re: I'm losing ME!

    no advice. I'm a SAHM mom right now and having trouble with that as well.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Landof2toddlers, Oregon
    Posts
    3,113

    Default Re: I'm losing ME!

    No personal advice, just a because i am in the same place. I have a friend with an older (just turned 4year old) LO who has a routine that has both her and her husband taking one night a week "off" where they don't go straight home after work they go do their own thing. They alternate weeks and it is always Wednesdays. I know she treasures her Wednesday's and does all kinds of things from going to the gym one week to having coffee or an early diner with friends another. She looks great
    proud but exhausted working mammy to two high needs babies

    • my surprise baby: the one and only D-Man born 3 weeks late (5/5/08) at 9 lbs 14 oz and 21.5 inches, and
    • the shock H-Girl born about a week late (10/7/09) at 8lbs 15oz and 20.75 inches.


    If I am here I am covered in baby (probably two) and fighting for control of the keyboard.

    Family beds are awesome

    Wondering if you have PPD? Take the screening and see your doctor. You deserve to feel better.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Culpeper, VA
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    558

    Default Re: I'm losing ME!

    I know how you feel! I had an "argument" with DH just a few weeks back about how nice it must be for him to have time to himself when he travels because I am 24/7 "mommy"! I admit, I only worked for 4 weeks because I am a teacher but...I feel like I am all about the kids and my life/world revolves around them. I will say, that to cut time on making myself presentable, I shower whenever I can but, then when the kids are in bed, I straighten my hair (which can take every bit of 30 minutes or more). I ahve become a pro at fixing makeup in less than 5 minutes in the morning and my hair only needs a touch up. I have been known to take some time for myself each day before picking up the kiddos. So, the suggestion to take some time on your own before or after work is a good one.
    When I was a single mom with DD1, I would work and then go home an relax for about an hour before picking her up from daycare. I always felt so guilty about it but, I know that without that time I would have gone insane! Some days, it is/was only 15 minutes to myself but, even that amount of time is wonderful!
    I think I kind of rambled...sorry, but hopefully that helps some.
    with my Best Friend
    Proud Mommy to my 3 girls
    "Munchkin" 9/20/01
    "Sunshine" 12/01/06
    "Peanut" 02/26/09 birth weight 5lbs 2 oz
    2 mos 10lbs 4 oz
    4 mos 13lbs 8 oz
    5 mos 14lbs 12 oz
    6 mos 15lbs 3 oz
    9 mos 17lbs 10 oz
    1 year 19lbs 3 oz

    Firm believer in the glory of "MIRACLE GROW"

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    lookingforchange!!
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    Default Re: I'm losing ME!

    Thanks ladies!

    I too, feel guilty but know if I don't do something about this - I'm going to explode!


    We've made it 1 YEAR




    A newborn baby has only three demands. They are warmth in the arms of its mother, food from her breasts, and security in the knowledge of her presence. Breastfeeding satisfies all three. ~Grantly Dick-Read

    Stacey

    Married to DH since 2001
    Mommy to Mikki 2006
    Mommy to Xander 2008

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Culpeper, VA
    Posts
    558

    Default Re: I'm losing ME!

    Don't feel guilty! It's your "alone" time that makes you a better mommy!
    with my Best Friend
    Proud Mommy to my 3 girls
    "Munchkin" 9/20/01
    "Sunshine" 12/01/06
    "Peanut" 02/26/09 birth weight 5lbs 2 oz
    2 mos 10lbs 4 oz
    4 mos 13lbs 8 oz
    5 mos 14lbs 12 oz
    6 mos 15lbs 3 oz
    9 mos 17lbs 10 oz
    1 year 19lbs 3 oz

    Firm believer in the glory of "MIRACLE GROW"

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    lookingforchange!!
    Posts
    846

    Default Re: I'm losing ME!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*beccib72 View Post
    Don't feel guilty! It's your "alone" time that makes you a better mommy!


    We've made it 1 YEAR




    A newborn baby has only three demands. They are warmth in the arms of its mother, food from her breasts, and security in the knowledge of her presence. Breastfeeding satisfies all three. ~Grantly Dick-Read

    Stacey

    Married to DH since 2001
    Mommy to Mikki 2006
    Mommy to Xander 2008

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    2,944

    Default Re: I'm losing ME!

    i know how you feel I feel the same way! I can't stand it sometimes. I feel bad about it too. I am going crazy lately with working, school, home, baby, I have no time for me and def. no time for DH....poor DH
    Proud mom of 2:
    DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
    DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

    Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

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