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Thread: So sad.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    Default So sad.

    I think Katy's done. Our BFing realtionship went through so many highs and lows in her first year. All was well until 2 1/2 months, then came the supply problems and supplementing, then I got some great advice from these wonderful mamas, and it got so much better. Then at 9 months, she started wanting more solid foods than BM, she refused to take BM out of a bottle when I was pumping at at work, I don't know why. And from there it just slowly started decreasing. We've been down to just 2-3 times a day since about 10 1/2 months and it was mostly for comfort, I don't think she was really getting a whole lot out of me. She refused to take BM out of a bottle when I was pumping at at work, I don't know why. She only wanted it from the source. Now she won't even take the breast. Every time I have tried to nurse her in the last week, she has screamed and shook her head and pulled away. She has now started pushing me away when I try. So I guess that means it's done. On the one hand I'm so glad we were able to do this in some way for a year, but on the other, I am so disappointed in mysef for not doing a better job for her. I so desperately wanted to go so much further, but I guess it's just not in the cards for us. I hate feeling like such a failure at something so incredibly important.
    Last edited by @llli*mamamommy3; June 25th, 2009 at 10:06 AM. Reason: I can't count
    I'm Shannon!
    Single, babywearing, barefoot in the grass mama to 3 wonderful babies!
    Abby 11-25-03
    Terry 9-29-06
    Kate 6-12-08
    and my Jack 11-17-02, gone to God at 11 weeks



    "While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about."

    "I am going to be happy today, though the skies may be cloudy or gray. No matter what comes my way, I am going to be happy today."

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Toronto, Canada
    Posts
    2,339

    Default Re: So sad.

    You're not a failure Mama! You've worked so hard to BF your DD, and even if it had all been smooth sailing, I can't think of anyone who would deem BF for a year "failure". You've given you little girl a wonderful gift.. And it's entirely possible that this is a strike. I don't think there would be any harm in continuing to offer, just in case.

    I'm sorry you're feeling sad about this, and I think that part is totally normal. I will be so sad when DD is done. But you haven't failed Mama. You've succeeded where many others would have given up, and you should be proud of that.
    Jess

    Mama to my little Roxie Roo, 06/11/08


    April miles for TBTTW: 63

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    St. Louis, MO
    Posts
    2,242

    Default Re: So sad.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*jessruff View Post
    I'm sorry you're feeling sad about this, and I think that part is totally normal. I will be so sad when DD is done. But you haven't failed Mama. You've succeeded where many others would have given up, and you should be proud of that.
    Some mammas don't even try. Everything that you've given Katy as a precious gift. I know you are sad now, but as time passes you can look back and see what a great job you did.


    I'm Laura, mamma of 2

    5-27-06

    8-30-08

    We love and

    We have been nursing for over 2 years now!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    2,005

    Default Re: So sad.

    Proud mom of 2 boys, both weaned gradually and with love.


    Find a local LLL leader

    For each and every one of us, the person from whom we can learn the most is our own baby: listen to him. - Mary White, LLL co-founder

    The best-kept secret in child psychology is that children who were never spanked are among the best behaved."
    Murray Straus, Ph.D.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    Default Re: So sad.

    Thanks, ladies. I just keep thinking about the last time she nursed. She was so tired, and we sat down together on the rocking chair, and she calmed down as soon as she saw me take off my bra. And she just sat there and played with my hair and my fingers while she nursed, and then right before she nodded off, she reached up and put her little hand on my cheek, and smiled at me. And then she just dozed off with her mouth still on me. It was ao beautiful. And I hate feeling like I'll never do that again.
    I'm Shannon!
    Single, babywearing, barefoot in the grass mama to 3 wonderful babies!
    Abby 11-25-03
    Terry 9-29-06
    Kate 6-12-08
    and my Jack 11-17-02, gone to God at 11 weeks



    "While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about."

    "I am going to be happy today, though the skies may be cloudy or gray. No matter what comes my way, I am going to be happy today."

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    2,349

    Default Re: So sad.

    Imma to AA, born at home 11/12/07 , juggling , working, APing , cloth diapering , - and . I'm done - yay!

    http://bf.lilypie.com/KmpEm6.png

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    54

    Default Re: So sad.

    That must be hard. I'm glad that the last time she nursed was a great experience though.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    SW Ohio
    Posts
    3,133

    Default Re: So sad.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mamamommy3 View Post
    Thanks, ladies. I just keep thinking about the last time she nursed. She was so tired, and we sat down together on the rocking chair, and she calmed down as soon as she saw me take off my bra. And she just sat there and played with my hair and my fingers while she nursed, and then right before she nodded off, she reached up and put her little hand on my cheek, and smiled at me. And then she just dozed off with her mouth still on me. It was ao beautiful. And I hate feeling like I'll never do that again.
    IRL all my friends call me Buff, Wife to CB since 10/11/2003

    Mom to DD - "MJ" born 9/2007 @ 8lbs 10oz, 21.5" She's 6 years old!
    My journey nursing MJ started HERE, but we got through it and she breastfed 19.5 months, self-weaned on 5/17/09


    Mom to my current nursling, DS - "ME" born 10/2009 @ 10lbs 1oz, 22.25" He's 4 years old! And yup, he's still nursing.

    Ask me about my successful VBAC! Click here for my birth story.



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    79

    Default Re: So sad.

    That seems like such a sweet goodbye.

    You did great, momma! Don't be hard on yourself.
    Carie

    Wife to Jimmy 8/14/09

    Mommy to Abigail Elizabeth born 8/12/08
    Birth weight: 9lbs 1oz 20"
    2 months: 12lbs 10oz 23 1/2"
    4 months: 16lbs 6oz 26"
    6 months: 19lbs 14oz 27 1/2"
    9 months: 23lbs 3oz 30 1/2"
    12 months: 26lbs 13oz 36"

    We made it to a year and we're still going strong

    Working &

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    miles from nowhere
    Posts
    11,108

    Default Re: So sad.

    You are a great mama and you've given your daughter a wonderful gift. Please don't feel like a failure! I think no matter the circumstances we all seem to feel sad when our babies wean, but it doesn't mean you've done anything wrong. Keep the mental image of her smiling up at you in your heart forever.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

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