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Thread: Did any of you have to convince your dh...

  1. #41
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
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    Default Re: Did any of you have to convince your dh...

    Quote Originally Posted by soonermommy View Post
    My Dh and I are going through this exact struggle right now. Before my DS was born I said I would BF for 6 months, then express breast milk after for 6 more months. Well . . . my DS is now 19 months and has never taken a bottle and still going strong. My DH keeps pushing for when I am going to quit, and how DS is too old. But, DS still has a great need and now after learning more about the benefits of extended BF and understanding my DS's needs I tell DH that I will wean when DS is ready. Unfortunately, this has led to strife and long discussions. Now my DH says it is my decision, but he (DH) will not be a participant in any discussions about BF. I don't want DH not involved, I just want him to be more supportive. The main problem is that DS nurses ALL NIGHT and DH often sleeps on the couch in order to be rested. DH beleives that if DS is weaned he will sleep through the night. I disagree. We tried getting DH to put DS to bed, but DS protested to the point that he could barely breathe (he wanted to nurse instead). Also, last night I tried to just eliminate one of the 10+ nightly nursings and DS cried for an hour. I tried a sippy cup of water, singing, rocking, stuffed animals, walking, cuddling all to no avail. I eventually gave in and nursed DS back to sleep, it took him another hour just to calm down. So all this to say I don't think that weaning is the solution, but I do need sleep and I do need DH's support now more than ever. Any suggestions? I feel like DS will never learn to sleep without nursing until he is ready, but in the meantime my DH wants him weaned by 2. Sorry for the rambling in this post, just feeling overwhelmed!

    Have you read the No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley? It did help me to get DS to sleep a little bit longer stretches when he was around a year old. He definitely never went all night at that age, but increased to several 2-3 hour stretches instead of 45 minutes. I think the biggest change that made a difference for us was teaching him to fall asleep laying on the bed and without nursing. Then during the night he could nurse to sleep. My son is 2 1/2 and I've just recently night weaned. I think if I had tried at your son's age we would have had hours of crying. Now, though, he's able to understand night and day that we will nurse "when the sun comes up". While it wasn't easy, it really only involved a little crying (never more than a few minutes). He is still waking occasionally most nights, but he is gradually sleeping better and better. As your son gets a little older, he will probably be able to handle night weaning better.

  2. #42
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    863

    Default Re: Did any of you have to convince your dh...

    Well, Dh is now pro-sleeping but ds grew out of our small bed so this suggestion may help your situation. We put a twin mattress on the floor next to our bed. If ds needs me in the middle of the night, I can get down there with him and not disturb anyone's sleep and if I happen to be up to get back in "the big bed" at the end of the feeding great, if not, then the twin is big enough for both of us. I figure it's a good start to a transition...

    Quote Originally Posted by soonermommy View Post
    My Dh and I are going through this exact struggle right now. Before my DS was born I said I would BF for 6 months, then express breast milk after for 6 more months. Well . . . my DS is now 19 months and has never taken a bottle and still going strong. My DH keeps pushing for when I am going to quit, and how DS is too old. But, DS still has a great need and now after learning more about the benefits of extended BF and understanding my DS's needs I tell DH that I will wean when DS is ready. Unfortunately, this has led to strife and long discussions. Now my DH says it is my decision, but he (DH) will not be a participant in any discussions about BF. I don't want DH not involved, I just want him to be more supportive. The main problem is that DS nurses ALL NIGHT and DH often sleeps on the couch in order to be rested. DH beleives that if DS is weaned he will sleep through the night. I disagree. We tried getting DH to put DS to bed, but DS protested to the point that he could barely breathe (he wanted to nurse instead). Also, last night I tried to just eliminate one of the 10+ nightly nursings and DS cried for an hour. I tried a sippy cup of water, singing, rocking, stuffed animals, walking, cuddling all to no avail. I eventually gave in and nursed DS back to sleep, it took him another hour just to calm down. So all this to say I don't think that weaning is the solution, but I do need sleep and I do need DH's support now more than ever. Any suggestions? I feel like DS will never learn to sleep without nursing until he is ready, but in the meantime my DH wants him weaned by 2. Sorry for the rambling in this post, just feeling overwhelmed!
    Last edited by LLL_Kristie; October 18th, 2006 at 08:48 PM.
    Kristie L.
    LLL Leader
    (the poster formerly known as fezzik812)
    Wife to Brett, Mommy to Seamus (5.1.05), and Emelie (1.18.08)
    "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."- Ghandi

  3. #43
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    Default Re: Did any of you have to convince your dh...

    bump

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  4. #44
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    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    Default Re: Did any of you have to convince your dh...

    Bump

    Way too lazy for formula

  5. #45
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    213

    Default Re: Did any of you have to convince your dh...

    Quote Originally Posted by epbrown View Post

    And have you left your los overnight with others while still nursing? How? Why? Dh is really concerned that he won't be able to take dd places without me and that we will still be unable to have a night away. I think if I could be comfortable with some of those things, he would be more comfortable too.

    Thanks mamas!

    I've been extremely lucky in that my DH is very supportive and as we approach 3 years he is still that way!
    So I wanted to address this issue!
    I work one night a month about, my little one has no problems falling asleep with pappa. She knows I'm not home, doesn't ask for 'den'. I worked away a long weekend in September, again NO PROBLEM! She didn't even ask. Until I crawled in the bed next to her after that weekend.

    I nurse her to sleep and then move her into her own bed. If I'm lucky, she stays there until 4 or 5 am, so lots of alone time with DH in our bed. If I'm unlucky she comes in at 1am or so.

    I am trying to night wean a bit, right now she gets a little 'den' and then I tell her to fall asleep, she rolls over and I'm ok for another few hours.

    GOOD LUCK!

  6. #46
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    381

    Default Re: Did any of you have to convince your dh...

    I've not read all the posts, but anyway my DH had never given me any trouble with me breastfeeding my little ones over the age of one.

    One, it's mainly because he's lazy! "Oh just bang her on your tit!" he says!

    And, second my babies had never been ill enough to cause any of us concern. So my husband thinks the reason for this is because of the breastfeeding.

    Good luck with your hubby, warn him, he will have to worker that bit harder to pacify his child if you can no longer do it by breastfeeding.

  7. #47
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    139

    Default Re: Did any of you have to convince your dh...

    We had agreed on nursing a year then it turned into 18 months then our dd still wasn't willing to sleep through the night and dh didn't want to get up with her so here we are at 2 and still nursing. He did say "you're done at 2 right?!" She turned two in November and we're still nursing. My dh has pretty much dropped it now. He realizes I'm going to do what I feel is right for our dd in this area. I am working on weaning her simply because I feel it's about time but I'm doing it gradually. She's down to nursing at night and when she first wakes up in the morning if it's before her friends arrive (I have in home daycare). She has gone a couple days where she's only nursed once but not consistently.

    Cathy
    Wife for 11 yrs and counting
    Mom to ds (12/96) bf 11mos
    dd (9/98) bf 6mos
    dd (11/05) bf 27mos and counting!

  8. #48
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    6,959

    Default Re: Did any of you have to convince your dh...

    Ok, so I did. I will come back and share how i did it later.

  9. #49
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    532

    Default Re: Did any of you have to convince your dh...

    I haven't read all the posts yet and I am not technically in this forum yet...I will be in EXACTLY 4 weeks!!! Anyway, my hubby is ok with me nursing as long as I want to. His Dad nursed until he was 5 and although noone else in his family have breastfed to speak of since, he knows my family has and of course I did with DS#1 although not past 1, but this time it is different and a lot of things are different and with experience from DS#1 and my educating myself more and more about this, we went into it this time fully prepared to go for as long as possible!!! My hubby has listened to many things I have read and supports me 100% with my choice and he sees and knows how much my son needs it. He knows my son can be sick or wake up from a bad dream or whatever and be upset and me nurse him and it all be ok!!! He also sees that at 11 months he still nurses ALOT and that it would be cruel to just wean him because he turned 1, if that makes sense.

  10. #50
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    Oklahoma
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    Default Re: Did any of you have to convince your dh...

    I was very confused as to why Erin was writing a thread about nursing her DD past a year... whew, it's an older one.
    “Only with trust, faith, and support can the woman allow the birth experience to enlighten and empower her.” - Annie Kennedy & Penny Simkin

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