Weaning while pregnant

[@llli*cjackord]

My son is 18 months, still nursing... Probably more now than ever before. I know that it's completely safe to breastfeed during pregnancy (I'm now 14 weeks along), but it hurts SO much. I would have weaned him by now, but he just doesn't seem ready to wean. I finally got him weaned at night (which he did pretty easily). I was just too exhausted and he was nursing every 1-2 hours all night long. However, he wants to nurse all day now. He asks, I try to distract him or offer him something else to eat or drink... But it's just not working. He'll cry and cry and cry.

I'm really feeling like a terrible mother. At this point, I don't really even think I have any milk, but it's just so incredibly painful that I dread when he asks (which is often). He's never taken any sort of security object except the breast and I'm feeling so selfish for wanting to take that away.

Has anyone ever gone through this? I just don't know what to do.

[@llli*aphimama]

We go to the park... a lot. If I spend all day out, it seems to help her not think about nursing. DD2 is 15 months and I am 15 weeks along with #3. When I was pregnant with DD2, DD1 self-weaned at about this point in the pregnancy. She just lost interest. That has not happened this time, and it recently got really painful. The past few days I've been nursing at night because she's been sick and it's the only thing that calms her, but otherwise we just get out as much as possible and DH tries to help with the bedtime routine so that she doesn't feel neglected by me but rather comforted by him.

I personally see a nursing relationship at this age as as just that: a relationship. It's two-way, and while it's comforting to your LO, if you are so uncomfortable and unhappy then it is clearly not working for both of you. I don't think it's selfish, personally. You're not saying you just don't want to, or refusing to meet nutritional needs. He will learn that you can comfort him other ways like cuddling, back rubs, tummy rubs, play time, etc. It will get better.

[@llli*cjackord]

thanks aphimama! we've been trying to spend more time out, but he's just been so demanding even when we're gone. he had actually lost interest, then we moved and he started nursing like a newborn again... then i found out i was pregnant. so you can see why i've been concerned about taking away his security. i had tried conditioning him to take a blankie, but no luck. i do notice personality changes when i say "no" and am able to distract him; he gets clingy, whiny, less social and generally just upset.

if that doesn't make me feel bad enough, he's started cheering, dancing, and clapping his hands when i do say "yes." cute, but heartbreaking. =[

[@llli*krystine]

Can you cut out the sessions that are particularly hard on you and at least keep the ones that are really important to him (for my daughter she nurses first thing in the morning, before nap and right before bed, the other ones we've phased out). Then when he asks to nurse you can tell him the next time he can have nursing time ("no nummies now, we will nurse after lunch before nap"). That works most of the time for us. Also spending time outside or running errands helps, too, or suggesting another activity she likes, like painting. I also have pain when nursing and I understand just wanting to be done but I think the slower you go with this, the easier it'll be on both of you.

[@llli*cjackord]

We started to cut out nursing sessions, leaving the before sleep and upon waking... But then he started saying he was tired and laying down in bed with no intention of falling asleep after nursing. Then I tried telling him no more nursing until after napping, and he stopped taking naps. So we're back to nursing 8 times a day because it's the only way he stays in a good mood and sleeps.

I feel outsmarted by an 18 month old. Not good for my ego.

[@llli*babygirl05]

been there, it is so hard. My lo was 3 though, maybe a little easier to reason with than an 18 m/o. I couldn't stand the pain either and felt guilty. I remember Tracie (mommy2lilah) got her dd a bunch of junk toys from the dollar store so every time she didn't want to nurse she'd say how about a present instead? I would try that and also staying busy. Going to the park, walks, etc.

[@llli*cjackord]

Babygirl05-- I'll have to stop by the 99 cent store... I haven't tried the toy idea! Hope!

Thank you all so much! I've just been feeling like there's no way to wean without breaking his heart and mine.

[@llli*babygirl05]

I know...it's hard, but in the end you will both be fine.