I am realizing that my son has weaned himself at 28 months. It's been over a week and he hasn't asked to nurse. I am so very proud of him and us for this journey we have shared. I was nervous that getting pregnant would end our relationship and now I know that it didn't. I still have milk (he's told me so) and I am still willing to oblige all requests and have even asked him if he would like to nurse. I am sad because I was not ready for this. I always thought that I would be. I knew in my heart I was doing right by my child, allowing him that time and space to choose when he was ready and then he did it and I am left feeling lost. He still snuggles from time to time and has asked to be held like a baby, but it's not that same feeling. I miss the gazes into each others eyes, or the nursing smiles that lit up both our faces or the sight of my sleeping angel at my breast. I know I will get to see that again soon enough, but this is a day where I am seeing my baby as a boy who doesn't quite need his mommy as much as he did just a few short months ago... I am sure that we have all read this poem before but it is very appropriate with how I am feeling right now so I thought I would share it.
Wean Me Gently
by Cathy Cardall
I know I look so big to you,
Maybe I seem too big for the needs I have.
But no matter how big we get,
We still have needs that are important to us.
I know that our relationship is growing and changing,
But I still need you. I need your warmth and closeness,
Especially at the end of the day
When we snuggle up in bed.
Please don’t get too busy for us to nurse.
I know you think I can be patient,
Or find something to take the place of a nursing;
A book, a glass of something,
But nothing can take your place when I need you.
Sometimes just cuddling with you,
Having you near me is enough.
I guess I am growing and becoming independent,
But please be there.
This bond we have is so strong and so important to me,
Please don’t break it abruptly.
Wean me gently,
Because I am your mother,
And my heart is tender.