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Thread: 28 months still going and then came 29

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    Default 28 months still going and then came 29

    I am realizing that my son has weaned himself at 28 months. It's been over a week and he hasn't asked to nurse. I am so very proud of him and us for this journey we have shared. I was nervous that getting pregnant would end our relationship and now I know that it didn't. I still have milk (he's told me so) and I am still willing to oblige all requests and have even asked him if he would like to nurse. I am sad because I was not ready for this. I always thought that I would be. I knew in my heart I was doing right by my child, allowing him that time and space to choose when he was ready and then he did it and I am left feeling lost. He still snuggles from time to time and has asked to be held like a baby, but it's not that same feeling. I miss the gazes into each others eyes, or the nursing smiles that lit up both our faces or the sight of my sleeping angel at my breast. I know I will get to see that again soon enough, but this is a day where I am seeing my baby as a boy who doesn't quite need his mommy as much as he did just a few short months ago... I am sure that we have all read this poem before but it is very appropriate with how I am feeling right now so I thought I would share it.

    Wean Me Gently
    by Cathy Cardall

    I know I look so big to you,
    Maybe I seem too big for the needs I have.
    But no matter how big we get,
    We still have needs that are important to us.
    I know that our relationship is growing and changing,
    But I still need you. I need your warmth and closeness,
    Especially at the end of the day
    When we snuggle up in bed.
    Please don’t get too busy for us to nurse.
    I know you think I can be patient,
    Or find something to take the place of a nursing;
    A book, a glass of something,
    But nothing can take your place when I need you.
    Sometimes just cuddling with you,
    Having you near me is enough.
    I guess I am growing and becoming independent,
    But please be there.
    This bond we have is so strong and so important to me,
    Please don’t break it abruptly.
    Wean me gently,
    Because I am your mother,
    And my heart is tender.
    Kelly

    Mommy to Gabriel born 12/25/06 Breastfed 12/25/06 - 12/09 and possibly here and there still
    Madelyn born 9/24/09 delivered at home and caught by my husband

    "To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right."

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    Default Re: 28 months still going and then came 29

    Mama to my Rubies
    C '07
    A '09
    And my Christmas Eve baby
    L '12
    I will carry you all my life
    And I will praise the one who's chosen me to carry you
    W Apr '11
    R Nov '11
    The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart. *Helen Kellar*

  3. #3
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    Default Re: 28 months still going and then came 29

    Kelly, he'll always be your sweet baby boy and he needs you just as much as he ever did before. You've done such a wonderful thing for him you should be proud of yourself along with him.

    For me it was only 4 months between Nora weaning and having D, but in that time I started dreaming about nursing and craving the feeling of holding a baby to my breast. You'll have that again and it will be wonderful all over again.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  4. #4
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    Default Re: 28 months still going and then came 29

    Can I just day how jealous I am? Of this notion of a child that actually walks away on their own? Or you OFFER and he REFUSES??? That is so lovely Kelly. Like....a fairly tale ending I think. As I negotiate my way out of this ever so important relationship, I am tortured by the idea that if left to his own devices DJ would nurse until the 2nd grade. And while I am ready to deal with all that I have to in the way of looks and judgments because we are STILL doing it....I know the road has to end for me before kindergarten.
    A boy that walks away on his own BEFORE your milk dries up and another baby on the way? You are in a lovely spot Mama. Albeit a hormonal and emotional one. Write something down in a journal. Or a letter to Gabe talking about all the things you have felt about it over these two years and put it in his baby book. But don't feel too sad Mama and don't think he doesn't need you. He does. He will.

    Way too lazy for formula

  5. #5
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    Default Re: 28 months still going and then came 29

    [QUOTE=@llli*norasmommy;709013
    For me it was only 4 months between Nora weaning and having D, but in that time I started dreaming about nursing and craving the feeling of holding a baby to my breast. You'll have that again and it will be wonderful all over again.[/QUOTE]

    Thank you both. Paige, it will be right around 4 months for us too. I always dreamed that it would happen this way, slow and on his own pace, and I am happy that it went that way but still sad.
    Kelly

    Mommy to Gabriel born 12/25/06 Breastfed 12/25/06 - 12/09 and possibly here and there still
    Madelyn born 9/24/09 delivered at home and caught by my husband

    "To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right."

  6. #6
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    Default Re: 28 months still going and then came 29

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    Can I just day how jealous I am? Of this notion of a child that actually walks away on their own? Or you OFFER and he REFUSES??? That is so lovely Kelly. Like....a fairly tale ending I think. As I negotiate my way out of this ever so important relationship, I am tortured by the idea that if left to his own devices DJ would nurse until the 2nd grade. And while I am ready to deal with all that I have to in the way of looks and judgments because we are STILL doing it....I know the road has to end for me before kindergarten.
    A boy that walks away on his own BEFORE your milk dries up and another baby on the way? You are in a lovely spot Mama. Albeit a hormonal and emotional one. Write something down in a journal. Or a letter to Gabe talking about all the things you have felt about it over these two years and put it in his baby book. But don't feel too sad Mama and don't think he doesn't need you. He does. He will.
    Thanks Shelly He has been telling me for quite some time that he would not allow the baby to nurse and then slowly he started to change his mind and told me that the baby could have one side and he in turn stopped nursing from that side and now when I offer his response is a big smile and a No, I all done with nursing

    You will get there with DJ and tehn I will be here to remind you of the wonderful job you have done and that he still needs you and always will
    Kelly

    Mommy to Gabriel born 12/25/06 Breastfed 12/25/06 - 12/09 and possibly here and there still
    Madelyn born 9/24/09 delivered at home and caught by my husband

    "To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right."

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Default Re: 28 months still going and then came 29

    Oh Kelly, I'm right there with you. I know exactly those feelings you are having... happy because you are so proud of your child for reaching this milestone, yet sad because you miss those quiet moments of nursing him. My LO is also recently weaned... It has been about 1.5 weeks since she last nursed (she's ~20 months now), and it was all very gentle, on her terms, slowly dropping sessions on her own, making her last remaining session shorter and shorter all by herself, and then not asking at all anymore. I will also be nursing a new baby in a few months, and like Paige did, I am already starting to crave that feeling of holding a newborn in my arms and nurturing him/her at my breast... that feeling of my milk letting down and flowing into my new LO's body. I have been thinking I need to write my DD a weaning letter, to tell her how much I enjoyed nursing her and how meaningful the whole experience was. (My eyes are welling up just writing this!!!)

    Just wanted to give you some hugs and tell you what a wonderful gift you have given your son, nursing him until he was ready to make that leap on his own. I hope to make it over 2 years with my next baby!! Great job, mama.
    IRL all my friends call me Buff, Wife to CB since 10/11/2003

    Mom to DD - "MJ" born 9/2007 @ 8lbs 10oz, 21.5" She's 6 years old!
    My journey nursing MJ started HERE, but we got through it and she breastfed 19.5 months, self-weaned on 5/17/09


    Mom to my current nursling, DS - "ME" born 10/2009 @ 10lbs 1oz, 22.25" He's 4 years old! And yup, he's still nursing.

    Ask me about my successful VBAC! Click here for my birth story.



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    8,018

    Default Re: 28 months still going and then came 29

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    Can I just day how jealous I am? Of this notion of a child that actually walks away on their own? Or you OFFER and he REFUSES??? That is so lovely Kelly. Like....a fairly tale ending I think. As I negotiate my way out of this ever so important relationship, I am tortured by the idea that if left to his own devices DJ would nurse until the 2nd grade. And while I am ready to deal with all that I have to in the way of looks and judgments because we are STILL doing it....I know the road has to end for me before kindergarten.
    A boy that walks away on his own BEFORE your milk dries up and another baby on the way? You are in a lovely spot Mama. Albeit a hormonal and emotional one. Write something down in a journal. Or a letter to Gabe talking about all the things you have felt about it over these two years and put it in his baby book. But don't feel too sad Mama and don't think he doesn't need you. He does. He will.
    to an extent.I am glad for TN in a lot of ways, but I have to admit I just can't see DD1 EVER weaning on her own. Time will tell.

    Kelly, I can only imagine how you're feeling but much to you and Gabe. Great job, mama!

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    816

    Default Re: 28 months still going and then came 29

    and mama, you've done good! Weaning is bitter sweet.

    Your little man will always need you. I was reminded of that this morning when DD awoke and was crying Mommy! DH went in to get her and she just sobbed for mommy and DH had to bring her to me. She may not have need my breast, but she still needed me. She gave me the biggest hug and all was right again in her world. Sure, the cuddles and hugs aren't the same, but they are equally as precious.
    I'm Wendi.
    Mom to:
    DD1 7/28/07 for 21 mos and weaned with
    &
    DD2 12/16/09

  10. #10
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    Jun 2008
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    Default Re: 28 months still going and then came 29

    When I get sad thinking we will be finished one day, I remember that the things BFing has given her -- no matter when we finish -- are things she will take with her for the rest of her life. A sense of closeness to another human being, a sense of being loved, health both physical and emotional, and a sense of independence and success from becoming a "big girl" when she no longer needs to nurse. Along with learning to walk, learning to communicate, and how to use potty, weaning is a major step in a child's self-actualization process. So both BFing and weaning have results that will contribute to her flourishing as an individual. And that will never change -- even when she's a mom, even when she's old. Which means in a way, it doesn't really end since the effects last a lifetime. This gives me joy and greatly minimizes any sadness that comes along.
    Olive Eloise Freeman, born Oct. 19, 2007.
    Still BF at 19 mos. and counting . . .

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