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Thread: baby cries and want to be held all the time

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    893

    Default Re: baby cries and want to be held all the time

    Quote Originally Posted by anton's mom
    my 7 week old DS would sleep for 5 to 15 min then he would cry to be p/u. He is not hungry, his diaper does not need to be changed, he is not hot or cold, and it isn't reflux. The minute I pick him up, he stops crying, after a few min, he falls asleep in my arm, but once I put him down, he cries again. What should I do?

    That sounds just like my 11 month old, except I don't get that 5-15 mins, she's wake up as soon as she is put down.....we use a wrap that I carry her in......

  2. #12
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    Jun 2006
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    83

    Default Re: baby cries and want to be held all the time

    I have the same problem with my little one and he is 8 weeks old. I also have a 2 year old so it's hard holding little jacob all the time. I try my best to hold him as much as possible. I hope things get better soon for both of us.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    160

    Default Re: baby cries and want to be held all the time

    im with these ladies
    baby needs mama period
    keep him close he'll be peeling off into his own world soon enough
    my 8mos old still naps on me and sleeps by myside at night
    she slept on me the first 3 mos or so
    you will get through it and your relationship will be all the better for it

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    923

    Default Re: baby cries and want to be held all the time

    Quote Originally Posted by anton's mom
    thanks for the responses. some ppl say that if you held the baby all the time or pick him/her up right away when he cried, they would get used to it. I also heard to let baby cry for a few minutes before picking them up (after making sure baby is not hungry, needing diaper changed.....) what do you think?
    I constantly hear about how I'm spoiling my son by wearing him and picking him up right away when he cries. I don't believe that babies have the mental capabilities to manipulate people. Their brains just aren't that complex when they are little... Now, maybe at 4 or 5, they can understand a bit more to be a bit more manipluative but even then, you wouldn't ignore your child when they cry. Babies cry because they need something. It's not always black and white (ie, diaper, food) but they NEED something.

    On the flip side, I hear constantly how happy and well adjusted my now 5 month old DS is. He is very socialable, loves to be held and tickled, is constantly smiling and laughing and he VERY RARELY CRIES! This is because his needs were met as a newborn. He was worn constantly (still is), co-slept until he was 3 months old (reflux stopped us) and was always in the care of mama or dad.

    My theory is that spoiling is what happens to fruit when it's left on a shelf too long. That may be difficult to understand but holding and loving your child DOES NOT SPOIL THEM! Babies live inside of us 24/7 for 10 months (40 weeks)... They are used to mama always being there.

    You may want to look into Dr. Sear's theory of Nine In Nine Out (aka NINO). His theory is that babies are born several months premature, even at 40 weeks gestation. NINO impliments Nine Months in the womb and Nine Months attached to mama. This means breastfeeding, co-sleeping and babywearing! I follow this and my DS is the happiest baby I have ever met. He truly seems to love life and I hope that will follow him as he grows.

    Follow your heart and don't be afraid to hold your baby! Those who tell you not to are set in the mindset of 'Ferberizing' (ie, crying it out, hands off parenting). Children are not programed to be independent after birth... Afterall, didn't they depends on us for EVERYTHING in the womb?

    Good luck and ignore those people who tell you not to comfort and hold your baby! Follow your heart... Listening to him cry hurts because it's supposed to! Otherwise, we wouldn't be wired that way...

    Good luck and lots of hugs!

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    12

    Thumbs up Re: baby cries and want to be held all the time

    For the times where I actually have to put baby down I solved the problem this way:
    I swaddle the baby nice and tight (yes, DD still loves it) and I put my Boppy in her bassinet, I put DD right in the middle of the Boppy so it feels like I am still holding her. Then I tuck a blanket in around her to secure her. It has worked for the last 5 weeks, thank goodness. There are times when wearing baby is not safe and you HAVE to put her down.( cooking, laundry, dog washing, vaccuuming....)
    Good luck!

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Oregon
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    2,931

    Default Re: baby cries and want to be held all the time

    Quote Originally Posted by AllisonG
    For the times where I actually have to put baby down I solved the problem this way:
    I swaddle the baby nice and tight (yes, DD still loves it) and I put my Boppy in her bassinet, I put DD right in the middle of the Boppy so it feels like I am still holding her. Then I tuck a blanket in around her to secure her. It has worked for the last 5 weeks, thank goodness. There are times when wearing baby is not safe and you HAVE to put her down.( cooking, laundry, dog washing, vaccuuming....)
    Good luck!
    Just a friendly note of caution ... the Boppy pillow isn't really a safe place to lay baby to sleep (there is even a big tag on them that has a red X through the word Sleep ) ... at least not while out of your eye sight. And my little one LOVES being in the sling while we vacuum and do laundry ... especially vacuuming, it puts her right to sleep!

    Mama to Adeline Brett, breastfed for 4.5 years (12/14/05) and little Eliza June, new tiny sprite in my arms and still learning the ropes (7/18/10)

    Family Blog • If I'm here I'm nursing and typing one handed ... forgive the typos!
    And I'm not a newbie at all ... I'm trying to get my old user ID working from back in the day ... paint-the-moon

  7. #17
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    Jun 2006
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    Default Re: baby cries and want to be held all the time

    I just wantede to chime in on this issue finally...as I have had experience with it. Granted it's just one persons experience I think it lends a bit of credence to all the pp posts...

    especially when it comes to this statement:
    Building this base of security and love now will help him become a more independent and confident toddler later on. He will *know* that you are there for him and trust you to provide safety and comfort when needed ... and therefore will feel secure in exploring his new world.
    I have a 3 mo. old and he is the happiest baby ever- not only do I think so but strangers comment on the sparkle of happiness in his eye I never let him cry long at all (if ever) and I mean I respond within 30 seconds...he is not spoiled as some say but rather he is happy and learning to trust this big world...
    heres where my experience comes in... I have two older once who I dealt with in the same manner and they too are very happy trusting children..sometimes to a fault, but trusting none the less.

    Bottom line - infants do not have the mental capacity to manipulate. They only know how to react to their senses as they come into their own - if you are there to help them along they will indeed be happy children. Soon enough they will not want to holding them always! Enjoy their infancy
    Click here to find an LLL leader near you...or call 1 877 4 LA LECHE for help now.

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  8. #18
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    16

    Default Re: baby cries and want to be held all the time

    my sons almost 5 wks old. i hold him 24/7 except to fix my make up, shower, and use the bathroom. those other times his dad holds him.

    he cries when he is put down alone or in his car seat. my mom says to let him cry it out but i think thats cruel.

    he sleeps on me or along side of me and breastfeeds on demand.

    my first son now 6yrs old was the same way and turned out fine. i breastfed him for 3yrs!

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    1,967

    Default Re: baby cries and want to be held all the time

    I agree with all of the other comments. Everything I have read says that it is impossible to spoil a newborn and that having thier needs met at an early age makes them more indepedent later on. I have a really happy baby on my hands to prove it. For those who have other kids and/or limited time, my baby girl LOVES both riding in a sling with me and/or her swing. They are both great investments I think and can be used for any babies that come later. I got my sling at www.zolowear.com and it is great. Lots of cute designs with a size chart so you get the right size for comfort and they send a very helpful "how to wear" dvd to help you get started. Good luck!

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