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Thread: Older child forgetting how?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    113

    Default Older child forgetting how?

    Konur has been nursing consistantly and is a little over 5 yrs old. He has recently said that he cannot get any milk out and I know I am plenty full during some of those times. I tandem nurse he and Mali together only once a day and that's the only time he can get anything out. He nurses 2-3 other times, but no matter what he does, he cannot get milk out.

    I have heard plenty about them forgetting, but I thought that would only happen if he were away from me for a length of time and that has not happened.

    He is quite sad and upset about this and wants to nurse more when she is nursing and I am really not comfortable doing that. It's very frustrating feeling while they are doing it at the same time.

    Any ideas on how he could just up and forget how?

    Is this normal for this age?
    Lori )O(
    Extended nursing, home birthing, unschooling, Nursing Necklace making, WAHM to Konur 3-11-01 and Mali 6-16-04
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  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    1,168

    Default Re: Older child forgetting how?

    I don't have any helpful advice. My son's latch gradually changed to something that was often not quite comfortable -- I've heard this described as "3yo mouth" -- but it didn't seem to prevent him from getting a letdown. Of course, I think he was one of those nursing toddlers who didn't really care too much about the milk after a certain point. I don't think I actually lactated for the entire final year of our nursing relationship (b/c we had stopped cold turkey for 2 weeks when he was 3, long story), and he never seemed to care that there was no more milk.

    I wonder if you could manually express one breast to trigger a letdown for him? Do you think that would ease the frustration, or worsen it?

    I can certainly commiserate with you, anyway. The various complications and complexities in nursing an older child always surprised me -- I had expected breastfeeding to be our one solid, unchanging thing, but it kept changing with the rest of him.

    --Rebecca

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    239

    Default Re: Older child forgetting how?

    How about letting him nurse right after the baby finishes so that the letdown is already happening?

    Is he frustrated over nursing or does he want to share the relationship with the new baby? With my twins they wanted to nurse the same time as the baby and once I let them (one at a time LOL, I only have two like everyone else) they were able to let it go. They were the same age as your son.

    Are there any other ways you can help him feel special in his new role as big brother? Any activities that could replace nursing for him?

    Anne

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    73

    Default Re: Older child forgetting how?

    I recall my son's latch really changing between 4 and 5. He was nursing only in the morning and not every day. It was kind of gradual but I could really tell he wasn't doing it "right". He didn't care so much about the milk and I didn't have to worry about supply b/c of his younger sister still nursing.
    Can you describe to him how to do it differently? I used to have to remind my ds to latch on better sometimes towards the end.
    I can understand you not being comfortable nursing both at once. I could only do that on rare occasions. I know some mothers do fine but it didn't work for me.
    It must be frustrating for him to want to nurse but not be able to get milk as he likes.
    How's he doing lately?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3,900

    Default Re: Older child forgetting how?

    The debate posts on this topic have been temporarily removed to a new thread in ATRT.
    Last edited by LLL_Jolie; September 1st, 2006 at 06:26 PM.

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