Re: i'm ready to wean my 17 month old... help!!!
Have you tried distracting her with other things- it could be an activity, a favorite snack, a drink of something else. I found that when I was trying to reduce my daughter's nursing frequency, if I distracted her before she asked it worked best. So I started doing things like bringing her to the park after I got off work instead of going home, where I knew she would want to nurse immediately.
For naps, you could try nursing for a set amount of time. I stopped nursing DD to bed by telling her she could have milk while I was singing "Twinkle Twinkle" and that I'd sing it 3 times and then no more milk. Then between each repitition I'd remind her- 2 more times and no more milk (and so on). Then when I unlatched her after the 3rd time she knew it was coming. She still got upset sometimes, but it wasn't a surprise to her and after a few times she started letting go on her own when I finished singing. Then you can slowly reduce the # of times you sing the song until she's no longer nursing before naps.
I've found that for nursing- and all kinds of other things, my daughter is much more receptive to things she doesn't like if she knows it's coming. It gives her time to prepare and avoids a lot of tantrums.
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