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Thread: Torn

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    1

    Red face Torn

    I have two children one is six years old and she weaned herself at almost two years old. I now have a 17 month old son and everyone (including daddy) is telling I should stop but the problem is both my son and I are not ready to totally quit. He eats and drinks properly during the day but he still likes to have the boob when he goes to sleep. Everyone thinks it's wrong but I don't want to stop until we are ready.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    1,198

    Default Re: Torn

    As a mom, one of the strongest things you have to rely on is your gut. Trust your instincts. If your DS is doing well, eating well and you are BOTH content with your nursing relationship as it is, go with it. It might be useful for you and DH to calmly discuss where his concerns are and why the pressure to wean, but on the whole, if it's working for you and DS, it's most likely OK to follow the cues you both will give and receive.....you'll know when you are ready and it sure sounds like you aren't yet!
    -linda

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    8,018

    Default Re: Torn

    I would definitely keep doing what comes naturally to you and your LO. It's so hard when people aren't supportive, especially your DH.
    Is he aware that the American Acedemy of Pediatrics recommends BFing for as long as mutually desirable to mother and child? Or that the World Health Organization recommends BFing for at least 2 years?
    My DH was not so sure about BFing past one year either, but he is the type to be persuaded by "official" sources.
    If nothing else, I hope your DH can understand that BFing is still an enormous benefit to your LO, who continues to gain immunological and nutritional benefits as well as emotional security.

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    1,048

    Default Re: Torn

    Why do they want you to wean? Usually any pressure I've ever gotten to wean was based more on a behavior and relationship issue than the actual act of breastfeeding. For example we had a big issue with dd wanting to nurse everytime we sat down to eat. Finally Dh and I stood firm with the new rules of "no nursing at the dinner table" and "mommy doesn't leave the table until her plate is empty." This helped to make nursing a non-issue (for a while) and made going out to restaurants with dd a lot of fun. Then there was the issue of "daddy as chopped liver" that needed to be tended to. Again the answer wasn't weaning - that was dh getting time alone with dd and with me. And there was the issue of sleep and the answer was eventually nightweaning, but not outright weaning. So maybe the people telling you to wean are thinking that's a solution to something else? If not, why is your breastfeeding a problem for anyone?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    8,018

    Default Re: Torn

    PP-That is a great point! Especially after a certain age, a lot of people tend to think weaning is the answer to everything. I’ve had to deal with my DH on this issue recently, also.

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

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