Our weaning journey has begun. I think. Tonight was the first night that I put DD to bed without nursing her (she's only gone to bed w/out it if I wasn't home). For weeks I have been asking DD if she wanted her daddy to put her to bed or half-heartedly suggesting that DH take her to bed assuming that she'd never let me put her to bed w/out milk. Both have been met with a big fat NO. I've also started shortening the bedtime session by asking DD to say "bye-bye milk, see you in the morning" which she took to pretty well. So, I'll take this as indication that I'm ready. And given that she doesn't ever ask for milk at any time other than bedtime, I figured perhaps she is ready too.
So tonight I decided to put her to bed without nursing her. Why tonight? Because DH was working late and I figured if she started a complete screaming meltdown and I caved I wouldn't have to explain a)why DD had a meltdown and b)why I gave in to it (because I was pretty sure that I couldn't commit to it if she broke my heart. DH and I are also ready to TTC and I don't want to tandem and I also don't think I could nurse with sore nipples (they were excruciatingly sore during my pregnancy). And for the first time in 20mos she isn't teething or sick or adjusting to something new. So, I figure I better take advantage of this before the 2year molars make an appearance.
I took her up to bed and sat in our usual chair and offered to rock her. Of course she said milk and threw her head back. I said that milk went bye-bye and she started to cry big crocodile tears. I offered to rock her and she said no. Then she said "bed" (which is the guest bed were we sometimes nurse in the middle of the night) so I took her to the bed and lay down with her. The tears stopped. I expected her to ask for milk again and for the tears to start again, but she didn't. I was shocked. It did take a total of 45mins for her to fall asleep and we did move from the bed to walking the hall and then back to the bed were she tossed and turned for quite a while before settling. But she never once asked for milk again or start crying again. Wow. I am impressed. With DD and with myself. It was far easier than I thought it would be on the first night.
I'm curious to see what the rest of the night/morning brings and if she'll wake up at her usual 5am-ish time and ask for milk. And if she does, whether I'll nurse her our not. I can't decide whether I should just wean completely or just cut out the bedtime session only. The early a.m. session is inconsistent. Sometimes she asks. Sometimes not.
So that's my story...if you've read it this far. You LLLadies are the only people I know who would appreciate any of this. I'm not sad...yet...I think because I'm not certain if we are done-done yet. It'll probably hit me then. And when I'm certain that we are finally done I'm going to reward myself with a nice piece of mommy jewelry to commemorate the beautiful journey this was.