and it makes me feel so sad
I'm tandem nursing my 26 month old DD#1 and my 12 week old DD#2. DD#1 nurses a lot, she's night weaned but still asks to nurse sometimes at night, it's hard to distract her at night. During the day she nurses 5 to 6 times a day and that's because I distract her.
Since DD#2 was born I am feeling resentful toward DD#1 when she wants to nurse. I try to think how much I love her but it's still annoying to nurse her, especially if DD#2 is awake or fussing. Nursing both at the same time it's even worse. I set limits and count to 10 to stop the session and I feel very good after nursing her, like if saying, "I did it" but then just the thought of her wanting to nurse makes me feel uncomfortable and you have no idea how sad. I believe in child led weaning but is this feeling of resentment natural? I can't believe in Nature a mammal would continue to nurse if it feels this way. Is this really good for her? Is this really good for our relationship? I was so looking forward to nursing both my babies but now, I don't think I'll make it and I feel I'm failing. I went through nursing during pregnancy, I didn't mind the pain, I knew that was what I wanted for her, I went through all the criticism from family and friends, even my husband, which now supports my decision whichever it is. Why am I feeling this? Does this mean it's time to wean? Just to tell you something about me, I'm the most perseverant person, I would go all the way if necessary just to give my daughter the best but is this the best?
What do you think? Is it time to wean? Am I failing? Am I going to harm her if I wean?
Thanks a lot for listening!