Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: I want to wean but I want to do the right thing...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Winnipeg, MB, CANADA
    Posts
    80

    Default I want to wean but I want to do the right thing...

    My son is 15 months old, and my husband and I have been thinking about weaning him.

    On the one hand, I know that extended nursing is beneficial, for all the reasons you read about, and for my own personal reason: it puts him to sleep at night and for naps.

    On the other hand, my son's latch has always been bad, and it is worse lately. My nipples get sore from nursing. He still wakes up at night to nurse, and while it is not as bad as before, some nights I will still have to get up with him 3 or 4 times. I am also having trouble feeling confident about our nursing, as my relatives (who were very supportive before his first birthday) are starting to give me sideways glances. I am tired of his demanding to be nursed, and tearing at my shirt, scratching my neck, or screaming because I call a nursing to an end after 30 minutes in the middle of the night.

    He always nurses to sleep when he is with me. At the sitter's (where he is a couple naps a week) he used to take a bottle, but is refusing to now, and so sometimes doesn't nap when he is there which makes the evening and night rougher for us.

    It seems like my son is so sweet with everyone else, but when he is with me he is whining to be picked up, held, nursed. I knew it would be that way when he was a small baby, but now that he is a walking, beginning-to-be-a-talking toddler, I thought he would have outgrown it. I have read that some kids night wake or fuss because their parents are gone during the day. I do work 5 days in 2 weeks, but I didn't go back until he was almost 11 months, and he had been the same before. Also, if I didn't work, I think I would go crazy. I need a break from him.

    Nursing does not seem to be something my son is ready to stop, but some days I don't know how I can keep it up. The disapproval, difficulties and demand of it seem some days too much to bear.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,259

    Default Re: I want to wean but I want to do the right thing...

    First of all, I think you deserve some congratulations for making it past the 1 year mark! Not a lot of women nurse that long. If you wean now, you can rest assured that you have given your baby the best possible start.

    I'm not sure that all the problems you mentioned are likely to be asolved by weaning. Yes, the latch issues and the disapproval from relatives will disappear, but the clinginess probably won't, and he may not start taking a bottle and napping at the sitter's just because he's been weaned. Plus, you will lose something which I think is a really valuable tool- the ability comfort your baby with the breast when he faces the many challenges of daily life- like getting to sleep.

    Have you considered night-weaning before going right to total weaning? You are supposed to wean gradually to prevent engorgement. I think a lot of moms here have used the Dr. Jay Gordon method to nightwean their toddlers. And often if you can get a break at night, that gives you the strength to keep on nursing during the day.

    At 15 months, my daughter was still very clingy, and was nursing ALL THE TIME. I also felt very impatient with nursing. But around 18 months, that changed and she dropped a lot of nursing sessions, and became much more independent. After that, nursing was a cakewalk.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Winnipeg, MB, CANADA
    Posts
    80

    Default Re: I want to wean but I want to do the right thing...

    Thanks for the encouragement and thoughtful reply. It would be wonderful if I had a similar experience to yours, with my son gradually giving up some of his nursing as we approach 18 months. I have heard of Jay Gordon's night weaning technique, but have not tried it, or even researched it much. Maybe that would be a good place for us to start.

    Thanks again for the ideas and listening ear.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    2,349

    Default Re: I want to wean but I want to do the right thing...

    I just wanted to let you know that Dr. Gordon's nightweaning worked great for us. (http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp) I feel like a new person with 7 hours of sleep.

    It doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing thing, mama - just do what feels right to you for you and your family.
    Imma to AA, born at home 11/12/07 , juggling , working, APing , cloth diapering , - and . I'm done - yay!

    http://bf.lilypie.com/KmpEm6.png

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    miles from nowhere
    Posts
    11,107

    Default Re: I want to wean but I want to do the right thing...

    I also had success with the Gordon method, though I must warn you that even though she was night weaned, she didn't necessarily stop waking up at night. She did do better though and I did get more sleep than I was getting previously.

    Your son is definitely old enough to start understanding limitations you place on your nursing. It was right around that age that I started telling my daughter things like, "no milk right now, lets wait until we get home" and "if you want milk you must ask nicely." She resisted at first, but it got so much better once she accepted that nursing was on my terms and she couldn't just have it every time she wanted it.

    Also, I was better able to distract her once she was that age. I would keep alternative snacks and drinks with me to offer her if she wanted to nurse while we were out. At home, I was sometimes able to distract her with a toy or book if I didn't feel like nursing when she asked.

    Just keep trying different things. There's not a lot you can do about the disapproval except ignore it or try to educate them. I generally just ignored it, myself. I agree with the pp, though, if you do decide to wean now, you've done a wonderful thing for your son by nursing him this long!
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    2,349

    Default Re: I want to wean but I want to do the right thing...

    I should add - DS "relapsed" for 2 nights when he was teething hard, but then went back to sleeping well. (Dr. Gordon talks about that on his site.)
    Imma to AA, born at home 11/12/07 , juggling , working, APing , cloth diapering , - and . I'm done - yay!

    http://bf.lilypie.com/KmpEm6.png

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •