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Thread: Do Not Want To Tandem

  1. #11
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    Default Re: Do Not Want To Tandem

    Hey don't knock it until you try it! You never know, you might enjoy nursing 2 if it plays out that way.
    Lisa

    Mommy to
    Logan 5-23-07
    Colby 12-14-09

  2. #12
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    Default Re: Do Not Want To Tandem

    Does she have a snack she likes or something she only can have for special occassions? When I'm about to nurse DD and don't want to deal with DS climbing on top of me to join the action, I'll get him a "big boy snack."

    The whole time I'm making it for him I'll talk up how this is for big boys and I bet Charlotte is jealous she doens't get any etc blah blah...
    Sometimes it's chocolate milk or fruit or if I'm desperate a cookie

    Would something like that work for her?

    Amy married to my bestfriend since 10/30/04

    Proud SAHM to DS born 2/17/07 and DD born 9/11/08 Both weaned together 11/2011
    Currently milk, peach, peanut and tree nut free. DD has outgrown her wheat, cheese, egg, garlic, and citrus allergies

  3. #13
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    Default Re: Do Not Want To Tandem

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*green.momma View Post
    Hey don't knock it until you try it! You never know, you might enjoy nursing 2 if it plays out that way.
    I'm not completely ruling it out, but I anticipate that based on my feeling with her in the beginning and feeling completely touched out that I won't be able to deal with both. Not knocking it, just don't think I want to try it.

    Mama to my little Diva: Miss K (7/15/06)
    And her little sister: Lulu Pie (3/21/09)

    "Don't toush da mango"
    One-handed typer Extraordinaire!
    My body creates, houses, nurtures and nourishes life. That is awesome.
    Kegel Kop says: TIGHTEN UP!

  4. #14
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    May 2007
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    Default Re: Do Not Want To Tandem

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mothersky View Post
    Not knocking it, just don't think I want to try it.


    I know I was just trying to be funny.
    Lisa

    Mommy to
    Logan 5-23-07
    Colby 12-14-09

  5. #15
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    Default Re: Do Not Want To Tandem

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*green.momma View Post


    I know I was just trying to be funny.
    I gotcha. I'm a punner.

    Mama to my little Diva: Miss K (7/15/06)
    And her little sister: Lulu Pie (3/21/09)

    "Don't toush da mango"
    One-handed typer Extraordinaire!
    My body creates, houses, nurtures and nourishes life. That is awesome.
    Kegel Kop says: TIGHTEN UP!

  6. #16
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    Sep 2006
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    Default Re: Do Not Want To Tandem

    The snack thing sounds like a good idea. Maybe you can fill a little box or basket full of special snacks that she can get for herself.

    Maybe you can just encourage the fact that she is a big girl and doesn't need to nurse now, instead of discouraging her and saying it is only for babies? That is the approach I often take with my strong willed girl. As long as I don't say a flat out "no", and leave the power with her (to a degree), she doesn't feel a need to fight with me about it.

    Misty
    Loving my two sweet girls Audrey (7/18/06) and Annie (6/18/09) Baby #3 due to appear 8/5/10

    Feel free to ask me about my successful HBAC , food allergies, cloth diapers, and the joy of having a high-needs, non-sleeping little dear who has grown into a wonderful preschooler.

    Blogging here.

  7. #17
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    Aug 2006
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    Default Re: Do Not Want To Tandem

    In my case, I felt somewhat similar. I didn't want DD1 to go back to nursing a lot, but at the same time I didn't want to wean her completely if she didn't want to. So, it actually worked really well for me to limit her to 1 (sometimes 2) sessions each day. That way, if she asked to nurse while I was nursing DD2, I could tell her "Of course you can nurse, but your time to nurse is later during stories." Then I'd offer snack, drink, cuddle, story etc. This worked really well for us, and DD1 is very strong willed also. I would also remind her that the baby couldn't eat or drink anything else, and she could.
    I am not judging you at all for not wanting to tandem, but just making a suggestion as to what worked for me and my DD1. This way, selfishly, I also got the advantage of engorgement relief!
    That's not to say there were never jealous tears, but surprisingly much less than I expected. DD1 was less jealous of DD2 than DS had been of DD1 when she was born (and he had long since weaned).
    very soon now! How are you feeling?

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  8. #18
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    Default Re: Do Not Want To Tandem

    Thanks Misty and Molly. Yes, I'm thinking more of a positive than a negative spin. I'm a bit leery of saying she's a "big girl" seems a bit too much of a push but I understand that part too.

    Molly, I was thinking about the engorgement aspect as well and that's why I haven't completely ruled it out, but as you and Misty said, we have some strong-willed girls and I know I'm bigger and stronger but...the drama might do me in.

    Mama to my little Diva: Miss K (7/15/06)
    And her little sister: Lulu Pie (3/21/09)

    "Don't toush da mango"
    One-handed typer Extraordinaire!
    My body creates, houses, nurtures and nourishes life. That is awesome.
    Kegel Kop says: TIGHTEN UP!

  9. #19
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    Aug 2006
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    Default Re: Do Not Want To Tandem

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mothersky View Post
    Thanks Misty and Molly. Yes, I'm thinking more of a positive than a negative spin. I'm a bit leery of saying she's a "big girl" seems a bit too much of a push but I understand that part too.

    Molly, I was thinking about the engorgement aspect as well and that's why I haven't completely ruled it out, but as you and Misty said, we have some strong-willed girls and I know I'm bigger and stronger but...the drama might do me in.
    I'd tread lightly on the "big girl" aspect myself. To me, I want it to be more of a subliminal message but not make it seem like she can't bf because she's a big girl. I don't think that's what Misty is saying but I'll try to elaborate. For example, I will praise her for doing big girl things and emphasize all the cool stuff she gets to do because she is older, but not usually in connection with a conversation about bfing or in response to a request to bf.
    When a new baby comes, many toddlers want to revert to baby ways and insisting that she is a "big girl" can be counterproductive for sure. I wouldn't be afraid to baby her a little bit, while at the same time sending the "big girl" message in other ways. IME strong-willed kids are a lot like men-you have to make them think it was their idea!

    The drama of flat-out refusing might be worse than the, shall we say, gentler or more nuanced approach. You know what happens when you create a power struggle with these little divas!

    I hope I'm making sense today...

    ETA: She probably won't even ask and all this will be a moot point.
    Last edited by @llli*mollyb; March 11th, 2009 at 09:56 AM.

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  10. #20
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    Default Re: Do Not Want To Tandem

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mollyb View Post
    I'd tread lightly on the "big girl" aspect myself. To me, I want it to be more of a subliminal message but not make it seem like she can't bf because she's a big girl. I don't think that's what Misty is saying but I'll try to elaborate. For example, I will praise her for doing big girl things and emphasize all the cool stuff she gets to do because she is older, but not usually in connection with a conversation about bfing or in response to a request to bf.
    Right.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mollyb View Post
    When a new baby comes, many toddlers want to revert to baby ways and insisting that she is a "big girl" can be counterproductive for sure. I wouldn't be afraid to baby her a little bit, while at the same time sending the "big girl" message in other ways. IME strong-willed kids are a lot like men-you have to make them think it was their idea!
    So true.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mollyb View Post
    The drama of flat-out refusing might be worse than the, shall we say, gentler or more nuanced approach. You know what happens when you create a power struggle with these little divas!

    I hope I'm making sense today...

    ETA: She probably won't even ask and all this will be a moot point.
    I'm expecting the moot point because she doesn't even ask anymore - at all. But, I also want to prepare JIC kwim?

    Mama to my little Diva: Miss K (7/15/06)
    And her little sister: Lulu Pie (3/21/09)

    "Don't toush da mango"
    One-handed typer Extraordinaire!
    My body creates, houses, nurtures and nourishes life. That is awesome.
    Kegel Kop says: TIGHTEN UP!

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