Re: How do I set limits with my son?
I've really struggled with this, too. One thing that has helped me as I continue to feel my way through this is to remember that it is not a bad thing for a child to learn that other people have needs as well. Not that they can remember, or really understand that at this age, but that kind of learning is a lifelong process, and there isn't anything wrong with beginning it as soon as you feel able.
I often tell my son that mama (or the milk) needs a rest, and that he can nurse....and then provide some specific time frame, or sequence of events that helps him understand exactly when it will happen. At first he was pretty upset about the notion of not nursing the instant the urge struck him, but now he is usually willing to wait fairly patiently for longer and longer periods of time.
Last night I absolutely hit my limit, after he nursed non-stop for hours and I felt like I was going to completely freak out from lack of sleep and being touched out. We both cried quite a bit, as he insisted on his desire to nurse, and I explained that I just couldn't do it. I danced and bounced him a bit, and rubbed his back and legs, he cried off and on, and eventually we both calmed down and were able to resume nursing, and successfully unlatch once he was finally asleep. It took almost three hours. It felt like twelve. I guess I share this both to let you know you are not alone, and also to say that it is a process -- we have some success and some setbacks and challenges. There are a lot of variables, but no one needs to be the resentful party in the nursing relationship -- communication, patience and understanding that both mama and baby have needs is vital.
Hang in there, and don't be afraid, or feel guilty, to need what you need...
Mama to Lorenzo, born 4/25/2007. NICU graduate, Gastro-Esohapgeal Reflux, Obstructive Sleep Apnea, Sensory Processing Disorder...alive and thriving thanks to breastfeeding and co-sleeping.
Those who say it can't be done should not interrupt the person doing it.