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Thread: Why am I so sad when this is what I want?

  1. #1
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    Default Why am I so sad when this is what I want?

    We've been working on night weaning. At first it was rough but the past few nights it's been better. We had one 8 hour night even!

    What I was doing was a modified Dr. jay Gordons method. Nursing her to sleep the first time and then weaning out other night feedings. It's been two nights of absolutely no nursing after the first nurse to sleep.
    Tonight DD was really really really tired. She only napped once and it was less than an hour. I stuck to the routine (although earlier than usual). She wouldn't stay in her bath. Screaming fits. She loooves her bath usually. So I got her out, pjs on. Said goodnights to daddy. Sat down to nurse. I offer the breast. She just looks at me. I kind of lean forward and she puts her mouth around it but doesn't close it and then pulls back. Confused I offer again and she bit me! I yelled ouch! She started screaming. I shift her up and she puts her head on my shoulder. But she keeps pulling up and looking at me and crying. Confused I put her in her crib and sure enough she rolls over and is asleep within seconds.
    Good right? Totally self soothed. Exactly what I've been wanting for a loong time.

    And yet I feel so rejected

    I realized she didn't nurse this afternoon either. Lately she's been nursing early morning, late morning, mid afternoon and bedtime. So that means she nursed all of twice today! (on a side note AF returned for the first time yesterday so maybe she's frustrated with my already dwindling supply?)

    I should be happy right? I thought about weaning for a good two months to be sure it's what I wanted before starting. I still want to. But I'm sad.
    Amanda
    Formerly: baby-blue-eyes

    Canadian Mum to Naomi Born 03/17/08 and has a dairy allergy we are hoping she will outgrow. Nursed for 1 year
    And Gavin Born 01/13/10. 22 months, still nursing and already determined to find every possible way of giving me a heart attack with his dare devilishness

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Why am I so sad when this is what I want?

    so normal to feal that way...
    I had thoose fealings when my dd weaned.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Why am I so sad when this is what I want?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*andreafromohio View Post
    so normal to feal that way...
    I had thoose fealings when my dd weaned.

    Even though we had been moving towards being completely weaned for 6 months, I'm still kinda sad that ds2 and I have ended that part of our relationship.
    Proud mom of 2 boys, both weaned gradually and with love.


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  4. #4
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    Default Re: Why am I so sad when this is what I want?

    aww. im sure its just hormones shifting and stuff. Even though its what you want, its also hard im sure ending something that was so special.

    You will love the extra sleep at night im sure. Wasnt she nursing a lot during the night?
    Student aspiring to be a Chiropractor and mother to Noah who will be 3 in July and Olivia who will be 2 in Aug.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Why am I so sad when this is what I want?

    I totally understand how you feel. DD is down to nursing only in the early morning and once she slept the whole night and woke up asking for her binky. It was really sad and I thought it was the end. But, she's woken up every morning since to nurse. My guess, is the biting incident was a fluke and that she'll go back to wanting to nurse at night. My advice would be to go slowly. I cut out nursing sessions very slowly starting at 12MO. It was mother-lead but I feel it was a at a good pace for both of us.

    Oh, also if your AF is back, is it possible it's effected the taste of the milk and she's reacting to that? I'm not positive about that but I think it can change the way your milk tastes. DD never seemed to notice a difference though. I'm PG and that supposedly can change the taste as well, but she hasn't seemed to care.


    Jeanne (my middle name IRL)


    Mommy to two girls (M & M), born Sept. '07 and Sept. '09

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Why am I so sad when this is what I want?

    Yes she was nursing tons at night. Only a few weeks ago she was nursing 6-10 times a night! That dropped to about 4 when I stopped bringing her into my bed and then has been going down since then!
    Amanda
    Formerly: baby-blue-eyes

    Canadian Mum to Naomi Born 03/17/08 and has a dairy allergy we are hoping she will outgrow. Nursed for 1 year
    And Gavin Born 01/13/10. 22 months, still nursing and already determined to find every possible way of giving me a heart attack with his dare devilishness

  7. #7
    Join Date
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    Default Re: Why am I so sad when this is what I want?

    It's the same thing when you try to concieve yet are miserable during your first trimester. Just cause you want it doesn't mean it's easy or emotion free. A lot of moms grieve the weaning process, allow yourself to feel what you feel.

    Amy married to my bestfriend since 10/30/04

    Proud SAHM to DS born 2/17/07 and DD born 9/11/08 Both weaned together 11/2011
    Currently milk, peach, peanut and tree nut free. DD has outgrown her wheat, cheese, egg, garlic, and citrus allergies

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Why am I so sad when this is what I want?

    Regarding the biting and refusal to nurse - could she just be having a partial strike right now? Is she getting more teeth, or been sick recently, or could she have an ear infection making it uncomfortable for her to nurse in certain positions? My DS went through a period that seemed like he was either weaning fast or having a little partial strike around that age. I felt really, really rejected too. Things are better now and he's 15 months (we are not trying to wean yet). AF could also be a factor with the decreased supply and possible different taste of the milk. Also I've read that they can start acting differently if weaning is going to fast for them. I'm not suggesting that it IS going too fast, but I do recall reading about needing to watch their cues carefully when weaning in case the weaning is distressing for them.
    Last edited by @llli*lovebeingmommy; March 3rd, 2009 at 03:05 PM.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Why am I so sad when this is what I want?

    The bite and refusal to nurse was a one night thing! She's back on the boob juice before bed (although she did bite me this morning... so I hope this isn't the beginning of a trend).

    She's also sleeping better! Not perfect yet but I have hope! She doesn't nurse between 10pm and 5 or 6am. She still wakes a bit but I am regularly getting a five hour stretch a night!! Wooohoooo! And she woke and gave one cry twice last night and had put herself back to sleep before I got to her. I'm sticking with the system. I have hope that we'll have full 8 hour nights soon!

    So she's now nursing about 3-4 times a day (24hr day!). I'm feeling good about this. It's a big relief compared to the 10-14 times a day we have before!
    Amanda
    Formerly: baby-blue-eyes

    Canadian Mum to Naomi Born 03/17/08 and has a dairy allergy we are hoping she will outgrow. Nursed for 1 year
    And Gavin Born 01/13/10. 22 months, still nursing and already determined to find every possible way of giving me a heart attack with his dare devilishness

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