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Thread: She is so grown up now

  1. #11

    Default Re: She is so grown up now

    My dad still calls me Baby Girl. That just made me cry reading your post. That's twice today! And it is only 10 am!!
    Mother to Emily June, b. Sept 18, 2005 and Lucy Quinn, b. 1/20/2012

    “Buy the ticket, take the ride."
    Hunter S. Thompson

    Excitement on the Side: Who doesn't love a confident woman with long boobs...

  2. #12
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    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: She is so grown up now

    My Dad always says that no matter how old or grown up I get, I'll always be his baby. I feel like crying too! When I had our DS my dad said "my baby has a baby!" & when we would go to their house & I would get DS out of car, for the longest time my dad kept saying that it seemed so strange to see me with a baby of my own & that it seemed like it was just yesterday that he was holding me in the palm of his hand (I was premature & I fit right in one of his hands).
    Claire

  3. #13
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    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: She is so grown up now

    Some random thoughts, from the perspective of the mother of a 4yo ...

    I remember when my son's first birthday was approaching, I went through a very intense emotional time. Part of it involved making peace with my traumatic childbirth experience. Part of it involved struggling to accept that my baby was now a walking (running!) little boy. I worried that I had failed to appreciate his tiny baby days enough, and at the same time, I worried that I had gotten so good at the baby-care stuff, I wouldn't be able to be as good a mother to a toddler.

    I remember, in a highly emotional moment, asking my husband (whose first son was then 13 years old), "When do you stop seeing the newborn in your child's face?" And he replied, "I don't know ... maybe when they're about 30 years old?" And that helped me realize that the first birthday did NOT mean I was losing my baby. My baby would always be a part of my son, and those intense experiences that formed our relationship from his earliest days would always be the foundation of our relationship as he grew.

    Fast forward one year. I vividly remember looking at my son on his second birthday and being struck by how much of him was still a baby. He walked, talked, played with toys, ate mostly solid foods, and even spent time away from me every day -- but his mind was still very much an infant's. He wanted what he wanted when he wanted it. "Not now" meant "never" to his young mind. He still wore diapers, still nursed and still came to me for comfort. He was so unlike the newborn and yet still such a baby in many ways.

    Fast forward another year. On my son's third birthday, I was interested to note my own feelings about his babyhood. It was over. He was a little boy. We had conversations. He had interests of his own, friends and teachers of his own. He still nursed, but in ways that did not immediately take me back to his infancy. He didn't LOOK all that different from the way he looked when he turned two, but his mind had developed into a child's, no longer a baby's. He could take turns and wait patiently for a little while. He could fall asleep in his bed alone. And -- I wasn't SAD about any of these things. It was time. He had changed -- and so had I! Being the mother of an older child is different from being the mother of a baby. They are both wonderful things to be; I had lost nothing by shifting from one stage of mothering to another.

    Now he is four years old, and he does almost everything for himself. Dresses, showers alone, even gets his own vitamins in the morning (I just have to help with the child-proof cap). He weaned shortly after his fourth birthday, and the time was just right for us, and I was able to release our nursing relationship with the certainty that it had been everything we both needed it to be, and now we no longer needed it. Now we have new ways of spending time together and being close.

    But, but, but -- for all this, I also know that my 4yo is still just beginning his journey into maturity. He still needs his mother in so many ways -- they just aren't as concrete as putting a hungry baby to breast. My husband and I are still the bedrock of his world, and we will be for a long, long time. Looking at my stepson, now 17 years old and the proud holder of a new driver's license -- even he still needs his parents. He just needs us differently than he did when he was little.

    All of this is to say -- I understand where each of you is right now, with the weepies and the heightened emotions as you struggle to accept how your babies are growing up so quickly. I want to encourage you that although this is painful in some ways, it is also a really wonderful part of the process of raising children. Perhaps the lesson here is that we should all try to embrace the moment we are in, because the one certainty is that very soon our children will change and we will change as mothers.

    --Rebecca

  4. #14
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    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: She is so grown up now

    Rebecca,
    That was so beautifully written! I may have to stop reading this thread......or else buy more tissues!
    Claire

  5. #15
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: She is so grown up now

    Rebecca....as always....your input is golden. So glad you jumped in on this thread. thank you.
    -linda

  6. #16
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: She is so grown up now

    Quote Originally Posted by jsmom
    This process..... it's a lot like learning to live with a piece of your heart walking around outside of your body.
    -linda

    sniffle.sniffle. You gals are making an already weepy (lately) woman tear up!!! Linda, you hit the nail on the head- that's exactly what it's like. That 1 year mark is really hard. I was just reading back in my blog to when he was about that age...

    "11 months old... that means in just 30 days it will have been a year since he took his first breath and yet it seems I just blinked. I just nursed him down-- again. His chubby little hand was placed over my heart as I watched him nestle in to me and drift back to dream land. There is not a better feeling in this world than to envelope him in my arms and know that he is at peace.

    A lump formed in my throat as I floated back to just a year ago when I was blessed to be cradling him in my womb- always under my heart, always safe within. Now I grasp at air trying to get him to slow down and not get so big so fast. My little 7 pound 14 ounce baby is now 27 pounds and 31 inches! All of a sudden he's surfing the furniture and finding high adventure as he meanders his way through his labrinth of toys. This precious spirit that passed through me now plays so intently! He charms his parents discretely as he giggles and peeks curiously at us from under those dark eyelashes.

    Can I freeze this time? Can I put it on a shelf in the back of my closet so that one day when he grows up and leaves us I can pull it out, dust it off, and re-live each moment? Please? "

    Now, he's just under 16 months old- 29 lbs., 32.5 inches!!!- and all he was doing then seems like AGES ago and just yesterday all at the same time. Now I get why my mom used to tease that she wasn't going to feed us any more vegatables any more so we wouldn't grow up!
    Kristie L.
    LLL Leader
    (the poster formerly known as fezzik812)
    Wife to Brett, Mommy to Seamus (5.1.05), and Emelie (1.18.08)
    "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."- Ghandi

  7. #17
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    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: She is so grown up now

    fezzik812,
    AWWWWWWWW........that's so sweet!
    Claire

  8. #18
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    Jan 2006
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    863

    Default Re: She is so grown up now

    Quote Originally Posted by Claire
    fezzik812,
    AWWWWWWWW........that's so sweet!
    Claire
    thanks... makes me want another one!!! but... I know I'm not ready yet!
    Kristie L.
    LLL Leader
    (the poster formerly known as fezzik812)
    Wife to Brett, Mommy to Seamus (5.1.05), and Emelie (1.18.08)
    "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."- Ghandi

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    242

    Default Re: She is so grown up now

    I have a little girl who will soon be 6...wow. Six years ago I never pictured myself as a mother of a 6 year old. I sometimes have to stop and take a big breath to remember those days when I was all she needed. Now in my nearly 2 year old, I see her big sister. It amazes me everyday that I have been blessed with these two beautiful little miracles. I remeber the moment that each of them was born. I can still feel the warmth of my Older DD's nursery, the sound of the heater humming, the soft white light coming from her room, leaning over her crib in the middle of the night and bringing her to my bed, (where she stayed for the next 4 years). When I think of that special time I can feel the warmth, I can smell her sweet smell again. My special memory of my yourger child is being in the hospital, that first night, and bringing her into my bed, she curled up in my arms, I was at such peace, it seamed as if the world outside was silent. My fears of not having enough love for both my girls...in that moment were put to rest. Last night while nursing my little peanut, with a mouth full of boobie, said "I love you mommy". What is more important in the world, then the love of your childeren.

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