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Thread: She is so grown up now

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    242

    Default She is so grown up now

    Today is the first day in 21 months that I have not sent breast milk to daycare for DD. I just don't seem to be able to pump much anymore. I only work for 3.5 hours on Fridays, so I think I will cut out Friday milk, and send a little extra on Mondays. This is so nerve racking to me. I know she'll be fine, (she's been with Mother in law before, who refused to give her the mommy milk), it just feels so strange.

    And to add another twist on my emotions, Last night for the first time in 21 months, my little girl put herself to bed. No mommy to snuggle, no bobbie. She has never gone to be without me, she asked me to give her boobie in bed and I said I would be there in a minute, she went to bed sang herself a song, and fell asleep without me. She is healthy, happy and wonderful...so why am I so sad!

  2. #2
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: She is so grown up now

    awe she's growing up, she still needs you in may ways!

  3. #3
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    Default Re: She is so grown up now

    Big big supportive (and empathetic) hugs to you.
    Why is it hard? Because as much as we celebrate and marvel in our LOs turning into less LO and more child, the transition is bittersweet. The beautiful innocent sweetness of the tiny baby phase, when we are so needed and so entirely trusted and so much the world to our little one, does move on...and that, while wonderful, does tug at our hearts and souls. And shouldn't it, afterall?? We grew these babies. We have nurtured them every day since the first time they were placed in our arms. They suckle from our breasts - and yet we know they draw right from our hearts. They are, in so many ways, what our lives become about. That's good. That's very good. But, just as we nurture from moment one, they, from moment one, start the process - based on our nurturing love - of moving away from us...

    My own DS, 17 months old today <sniffle> has gotten thru the night exactly twice without needing me to nurse him sometime during the night. Both times were joyful - and yet sad at the same time. I have just - two weeks now - stopped pumping at work and I still cast a misty eye (who would have thought??) at my faithful pump, sitting, waiting, under my desk, just in case.... This process..... it's a lot like learning to live with a piece of your heart walking around outside of your body.

    FWIW, know that it's a truly beautiful and wonderful start that you have given your daughter. That she so peacefully and contentedly went off to slumber like that is huge testament to your love and your nurturing. You have done so well to start her life.... kudos - and kleenex - to you, momma.
    -linda

  4. #4
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: She is so grown up now

    Tears rolling down my cheecks. Thank you! That was beautiful!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    651

    Default Re: She is so grown up now

    Last night my older sister gave birth to her first child, and I was the first one she called afterwards while he was happily nursing for the very first time. All day today I've been feeling overjoyed and over-emotional. As I sit here my little ds is playing happily on the floor, sitting up all by himself, chewing on my favorite pen....that he got out of its case all by himself... and I can hardly believe he will be a year in just a few months....where does time go? I still feel like such a little girl myself...22...it makes me want to run screaming into the arms of my mama so I can curl up for a bedtime story and go running off to school tomorrow and play boys chase girls. I love his new tricks, his happy giggles, and most of all I love nursey time, so tonight we'll cuddle and give kisses and pray it will last forever.....thank you for giving me such wonderful mamas to look up to and try to be like. He'll be there before I know it!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: She is so grown up now

    Quote Originally Posted by Hbsmomma
    Tears rolling down my cheecks.
    If it makes you feel any better, I cried while I wrote it!!
    best to you and yours.............-linda

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    273

    Default Re: She is so grown up now

    Wow, Linda! I am overwelmed with emotions after reading what you wrote! It was so beautiful, & yes, I had tears also. Still do actually. Within the next 7 days both of my kids will celebrate their birthdays. DS will be 2 years, my little man is growing up so fast! And DD will be the big ONE! I will be crying as we celebrate their birthdays together w/ family & friends because I will be thinking of what you wrote. Makes me cherish every moment w/ them even more than I already do! Thank you.
    Claire

  8. #8
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: She is so grown up now

    Claire, congratulations and many blessings to all of you as you celebrate your childrens' birthdays. That's so wonderful.... and thank you for your kind words.

    Yeah; I'm busted and outted - Linda-the-Geek is really a big old mush-pot at heart....
    -linda

  9. #9

    Default Re: She is so grown up now

    Add me to the mush pile. DD will be a year old next month and dh does not understand why I am feelign so very bittersweet about it. While I am so proud of her accomplishments and it amazes me to see how sh ehas grown it breaks my heart that my baby... won't be a baby too much longer. Sad, that if we do a good job as parents our children will be doing their job, growing separate and independent from us. Doesn't seem fair
    Mother to Emily June, b. Sept 18, 2005 and Lucy Quinn, b. 1/20/2012

    “Buy the ticket, take the ride."
    Hunter S. Thompson

    Excitement on the Side: Who doesn't love a confident woman with long boobs...

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: She is so grown up now

    my hubby always greats our little girl at the door when he gets home from work and their new talk goes something like this
    Daddy "Hi, baby girl"
    and then she said "I not a baby Me a girl"
    DAddy then says "You'll always be my baby"
    its so cute.

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