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Thread: pressure to give solids

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Unhappy pressure to give solids

    I can't take all the pressure, not to mention rolled eyes, comments behind hands, and dissapointed head-shakes that come after i've announced that i will exclusively breastfeed my daughter for 6 months. In-laws, husband, friends, strangers......everyone thinks going "by the book" is silly, and that babies can have mashed potatoes, cereal, and processed baby food after a mere 2 weeks!!!! How do i stick by my commitment when i have no support?

  2. #2
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: pressure to give solids

    Hey, I give you an applause to last this long with pressure from relatives and friends. I think I would probably move away or something. I would just go with my gut instinks and do what you feel is best for your baby. My mom had to go through what your going through when I was a baby. So she became a lll leader in the 70's. And had alot of support from friends in the group that stood up for her. My mom was a true hippie and ignored the norm for most people. She never baught any refined anything and everything in our house hold was organic to eat as I was growing up. My grandma thought she was nuts. But respected her wishes. My mom even put breast milk in wholewheat pancakes. She was affraid to tell the doctors what she was doing. But it's what our ancestors did in the 1700's and 1800's. They even aloud someone else nurse their babies when there was something wrong. Hope this gives you incouragement. Mandy

  3. #3
    LLLJacqui's Avatar
    LLLJacqui is offline Shares Widely And Frequently
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    Default Re: pressure to give solids

    I would at least try to get DH on your side... if your husband at least supports your decisions, then you will have a much lessened battle on your hands, kwim?

    Find internet sources that you can print off that explain why waiting is the best thing to do, like:


    http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/solids/index.html

    At least this way you can be satisfied that your husband at least is on your side. There are going to be MANY situations along the way where ppl won't fully understand or appreciate why you parent the way that you choose to. So long as you and your husband are on the same page, things will be much easier for you.

    Know that you are not alone in this... many of us have had to face the same sort of pressure. You know that you are right in your decisions and you have proof to back them up. It's not just a matter of "by the book"... it's also a matter of how the baby's intestinal system develops. It's basic science.

    It'll all be okay.

    Jacqui

  4. #4
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    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: pressure to give solids

    hey there kelly belly,

    keep up the good work! i think most of us breastfeeding moms get unwanted comments and advice, so youre not alone! my daugther didn't really start eating solids until about 11 months, so you can imagine how much people i knew thought that was weird! even now shes still an avid breastfeeder at one year old.

    i agree to get dh on your side, and let him handle any remarks from his family (mother in laws can be the worst! )

    and just remember that even if they say you don't have to breastfeeding exclusively, tell them its not about you have to do, its about what you want to do! and what mother wouldnt want to give her baby the best?

  5. #5
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: pressure to give solids

    I live in France where formula rules. I do the diplomatic thing. I suck in my breath and say "Where did you hear that?!? OMG, so outdated. Good thing I did some reading before hearing that".

    Usually they're so shocked and stunned they can't spit out a response. I've even added tidbits like "You just can't listen to grandmas. The information is a little out of date..." with a laugh. Then I'll turn to my child and say something like "good thing mommy got some good information huh? don't want you getting allergies or having digestive problems. BM is enough for you for now, isn't it?"

    French culture is more call-it-as-you-see-it so you have to have some chuzpah to come out with these things but if you make it look like it's entertaining, they're kind of in an uncomfortable place. They know if they say anything else, you might not keep the jovial mood up and they might be in for a lecture.

    Another approach I've used is to answer in the extreme. My sil said something about my "still" putting my 6 year old in a booster. I came up with "Well, they don't need carseats at all, do they? If you don't get into an accident, then why strap your kid in at all?" Or if a comment is made about questioning the advantages of breastfeeding, I'll say something like "Who listens to medical research anyway. It's just a bunch of doctors coming up with all these theories. Some people don't believe in modern medicine. You know there are churches back home in America who don't believe in going to the doctor at all..." Again, put them in an uncomfortable place. They're not sure where to draw the line or where you're drawing it. You're telling them that their opinion is suspect in a backdoor way.

    I'm a 60's baby and I was given solids at 2 weeks. My entire generation buys way more than the average of stomach-calming products. Interesting, huh?

    HTH,
    Sharon

  6. #6
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: pressure to give solids

    I use the old, "Blame it on the doctor" trick. None of the people giving you this advice seem to have a medical degree and the AAP recomends bm solely until 6 mos and continuing to bf with solids until AT LEAST a year- the lucky ones go longer. It's hard to argue when the dr is telling you to do this.
    Kristie L.
    LLL Leader
    (the poster formerly known as fezzik812)
    Wife to Brett, Mommy to Seamus (5.1.05), and Emelie (1.18.08)
    "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."- Ghandi

  7. #7
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    Default Re: pressure to give solids

    You sound just like me! Just stick to what you know and ignore them. I planned 6 months too, and it was hard with my bestfriend (little boy born a week before my Cara) started solids at 2 months, and my sister (little boy born 6 days after Cara) started solids at 4 months. I started at 5 months only because she exhibited EVERY sign that I could look up in books and the internet that she was ready, and took to it like she'd been eating cereal for years LOL! I then had people say "Looks like you changed your mind huh? Told you you could have started earlier." The nerve! I just point out the obvious research about diabetes, obesity, stomach problems, and such with starting foods too early and they shut up pretty quick.

  8. #8
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    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: pressure to give solids

    LOL! I love all these ideas, especially Sharon's response! It is like the classic response to "how long do you plan on nursing?" ... I don't know... if he decides to go away for college I guess we'll have to stop then!

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