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Thread: needing support and advice

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    64

    Default needing support and advice

    Hi All

    I think I just need some support....

    I feel totally out on a limb as I am the only person I know who is still feeding on demand at nearly 14 months. Every other mother I know got their baby down to just morning and night feeds from about six months!!!

    I am also starting to feel more self conscious about it, sometimes I feel like i have to make excuses for her if she asks to nurse a lot in public. I am annoyed at myself for doing this!!!

    Sometimes I wonder if I should be saying 'no' to her more, and feel like others must think i am 'spoiling' her by letting her set the agenda. I worry that maybe they are right!

    Also I would really like to get pregnant again and my understanding is that this is pretty unlikely as she is still nursing frequently day and night. I have not had my period back yet.

    Any advice appreciated!!!
    Milli



    with my beautiful girls Bess, aged 3, and Ursula, aged 1, since 8th January 2008






    I blog about breastfeeding, evidence based parenting and life with children at:
    http://mamamule.blogspot.com

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    The Yellow House
    Posts
    697

    Default Re: needing support and advice

    Hi Milli,
    I don't really have any advice, but wanted to say that I too am still feeding on demand (day and night) with my 15 month old. Keep doing what you feel is right, and if you feel that you need to cut out a couple of nursing sessions so that your cycle comes back, then go for it. You just have to do what works best for you and your LO, not mainstream society.

    Good luck !

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    103

    Default Re: needing support and advice

    I'm also still feeding on demand. DD is 14 months old. Sometimes, she nurses less in the day and more overnight, but times like now, when she's teething, she eats very few solids and wants to nurse constantly.
    Cheryl

    Mommy to Tessa Noelle 12/14/07

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,152

    Default Re: needing support and advice

    Every other mother I know got their baby down to just morning and night feeds from about six months!!!
    They're the ones who should feel weird, not you! Nursing 2X a day at 6 months is NOT ENOUGH. It's not enough at 1 year. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, breastmilk should be a baby's primary food until the first birthday, and that means a bare minimum of 6 nursing sessions a day.

    And it's not like a baby goes from needing only mama's milk to needing no mama's milk at all in one day: even after the first birthday, breastmilk makes up a really important part of a baby's diet and the transition from a mostly-milk to a mostly-solids diet is naturally a gradual one.

    I am also starting to feel more self conscious about it, sometimes I feel like i have to make excuses for her if she asks to nurse a lot in public. I am annoyed at myself for doing this!!!
    Don't feel annoyed at yourself. It can be really hard to shrug off the feelings that come when everyone around you is looking at you like you're the one doing something wrong. But you're NOT doing anything wrong- on the contrary, you are being an incredibly good and giving mom!

    You're NOT spoiling your baby. You're building an incredible foundation of trust: she knows that when she needs something, you're going to be there to give it to her

    Also I would really like to get pregnant again and my understanding is that this is pretty unlikely as she is still nursing frequently day and night. I have not had my period back yet.
    It is pretty unlikely, but not impossible. You ovulate before you get your first period, so you could be pregnant already for all you know! If you want to increase your chances of getting your fertility back, reducing the night feedings may be the best way to go about it. My period came back at 15.5 months postpartum, which was several months after I had cut DD back to 1 nursing session a night (due to my selfish need for sleep), and also right around the time she started eating a lot of solid foods.

    You also might want to get a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. It's a really great guide to everything about your reproductive system that you never learned in health class, and it has sections specifically aimed at breastfeeding moms and at women who want to become pregnant.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    64

    Default Re: needing support and advice

    thanks all you have made me feel a lot better xxx
    Milli



    with my beautiful girls Bess, aged 3, and Ursula, aged 1, since 8th January 2008






    I blog about breastfeeding, evidence based parenting and life with children at:
    http://mamamule.blogspot.com

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    6,467

    Default Re: needing support and advice

    One other thing, I still nurse on demand with my 17 month old. However when it comes to regular meal times, I do feed solids first then see if he still wants to nurse. I also have started asked Max to wait if he wants to nurse at an inconvient place or time (BTW it's not going very well!). On weekends he will still nurse 6-8x per day.
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    547

    Default Re: needing support and advice

    I nurse my 16 mo old on demand also, but like pp said at mealtime, solids come first. It's especially nice when she's teething or going through weird food prefernces, I know she's still getting good nutrition. I do try to distract her or divert her with water or snacks if we're out & about, but will nurse her in the car or at work or home. Shes super active & easily distracted, so NIP just hasn't been practical with her for a long time & at this age, I know it won't hurt her to wait, but do whatever is best for you & lo when you're out. Keep up the good work!
    since 10/10/07
    and still going...

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