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Thread: Becoming embarrassing and annoying

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    Default Becoming embarrassing and annoying

    DD is 26 mos. old and still nurses as much as some newborns. 8-10 times a day. And that's down considerably from the 12-18+ times it was just 6ish months ago. I'm so tired of nursing. I'm tired of her seemingly constant need to nurse, and not being able to be away from her for more than a few hours. And it's getting embarrassing now that she's older. She decides she wants to nurse, and she screams "NUMMIES! NUMMIES!" at the top of her lungs until she gets to nurse. I've tried everything, and nothing distracts her. My family is getting all over me now about the fact that I'm nursing her still, and they all think I need to wean her. So everytime she wants to nurse around them (we get together every week) I get looks and comments about it. And we've been looking for a house, so it's really annoying when after 1 or 2 houses when I have to go find a private room to nurse her. Otherwise, she screams and cries inconsolably. I love the idea of setting limits with her, but honestly, I just don't have the patience or ability to let her cry until she gives up, because she just DOESN'T. So I don't know what to do. I keep hoping that it's something she'll outgrow soon. I'm seriously praying that maybe she's just finally about to get her 2 year molars and then it will pass. But I've been saying that now for months, and still no molars. I want some semblence of myself back. I'm tired of sore nipples from lazy toddler latch. I'm tired of never being able to go anywhere fun. I'm tired of embarrassing, rude toddler behavior of attempting to lift my shirt in public, screaming "nummies" (seriously, people have to know what that means). It's also hard going back and forth all the time, because she nurses more when we're at home and bored than when we're out and about (though she still does want to nurse every few hours). If we miss even 1 of our normal nursings, it messes with my hormones and I get all blue for the next 24ish hours. I do and don't want it to just all be over with at the same time. I feel horrible for wanting it to end, and know it will all be so fleeting, yet at the same time, I just feel so nursed out. I want a day without someone climbing back and forth over me or grabbing me by the hand yelling "daddy's bed" trying to get me to take her in to nurse. Sometimes I just want so badly to run away when she wants to nurse AGAIN. I was committed to CLW, but now I just don't know. I wonder if she'll ever be done, or how many more years she may want to nurse. But I just don't think I could handle trying to impose weaning on her. I just know she would not do well. I just want a day off. Just one day off. It's so hard nursing a 2 year old sometimes.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
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    Alabama
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    1,195

    Default Re: Becoming embarrassing and annoying

    mama

    your such a great mama. Maybe some more experienced ladies will give you some advice on how to cut back.

    just wanted to give you some though.
    Student aspiring to be a Chiropractor and mother to Noah who will be 3 in July and Olivia who will be 2 in Aug.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    SoCal
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    Default Re: Becoming embarrassing and annoying

    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  4. #4
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    Jan 2008
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    Orange County, CA
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    Default Re: Becoming embarrassing and annoying

    It definitely sounds like you need a little break. Can you leave her with DH for half a day or so and do something just for you? You could always pump just to make sure you don't have the hormone fluctuations...
    Karen

    Proud mama to
    Kaitlyn Ann 12/23/07 - 7 lbs., 15 oz.
    11/09
    Jackson Thomas 1/16/11 - 9 lbs., 3 oz.


  5. #5

    Default Re: Becoming embarrassing and annoying

    I am totally in the same boat as you - my son is 24 months and feeds all day every day. I feel it very draining at the moment too. I on the other hand could not give a **** about what other people think or my families opinion as it has nothing to do with them. Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing and although you are going through a tough time, as am I - I think that its support and encouragement we both need. I am trying with Toby to spread out his feeds more and when he screams at me for "BA" then I say - you need to have a drink of water first or When we get back to the car. If he screams I let him scream, he will get over it. I dont hide when I breastfeed and my boob has probably been seen by half the Gold Coast. I think you need hugs and a pat on the back for going this long and encouragement to keep going. Your daughter obviously needs it still as its a very important part of her life. Maybe its not her main food source anymore but its her way of saying I love you mummy. I think that when our little ones are ready they will cut back - its totally normal for the increase in feeds at this age so I have read. But apparently it will drop in the coming year. Give yourself some time off by leaving her with hubby for 2-3 hours - she will survive. I do this once or twise a week now just to have that time out.
    Boobie Mumma for two years
    Mumma for 14 years

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    Toronto, Canada
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    Default Re: Becoming embarrassing and annoying



    You're doing a great job Mama. As pp suggested, maybe just a few hours to yourself would help you feel a little less nursed-out. also that some gentle distractions couldn't hurt. I know my sister used chocolate milk

    I hope you get what you need to feel good about this again, but remember that nursing is a two way street. It has to be mutually enjoyable (or at least tolerable), so if what you're doing isn't working anymore, you can and should change it.
    Jess

    Mama to my little Roxie Roo, 06/11/08


    April miles for TBTTW: 63

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2007
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    4,160

    Default Re: Becoming embarrassing and annoying

    I can't remember if you were one of the ones posting on the PPD thread. Did you have your hormone levels checked? I don't think it's normal to feel blue if you miss one nursing session. I wonder if you're having a low progesterone problem? Might be worth a trip to have checked out to make sure it's not a physical thing that is easily fixed.

    I can imagine how you're feeling. Logan was really pushing my buttons about nursing at the worst times and it made me resent the nursing relationship. What worked for us was to goto Florida and visit family and he spent 2 weeks with his 4 YO nephew. He got so distracted that he just didn't ask, and then we never fell back into the 8-10 times a day nursing.

    But I have to keep him busy. On the days that we're home all day he will ask to nurse more often. I sometimes give in but not usually. So almost every day we're doing stuff. We goto gymnastics, library storytime, Kindermusik, playgroup, the park, the mall soft play area.. and he's usually engaged playing that he doesn't nurse those times.

    What are you doing for distraction that you say isn't working? Do you think that you're so busy looking for a house that your DD is trying to tell you that she needs more alone time with you?

    Also, have you tried the song trick? (I haven't done this before) But I know some mommas will say okay you can nurse but only until I finish singing this song 2-3 times. I wonder if that would eventually discourage her from nursing.

    And the only other thing I can think of is to just drop one session per day per week. Stay very firm with it. You could do a reward for her during the time, a sticker, special snack, story on mommy's lap... whatever but no nursing. First day might be rough, but she will be okay. Then each week pick another nursing session to drop.

    Okay I'm out of ideas. I think that your DD isn't the typical nursling at her age, and she's REALLY attached to it. She sounds like she might need a little push to make the nursing relationship more enjoyable for you.

    Lisa

    Mommy to
    Logan 5-23-07
    Colby 12-14-09

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Becoming embarrassing and annoying

    Yes, I am one of the mamas on the PPD thread. And I really do need to have my hormone levels checked, and have just been dragging my feet on it. I have a really hard time giving myself permission to take care of my health, since it's not that bad (especially in comparison to my DH's). I HAVE to schedule an appt. in the next few weeks, because I'm on zoloft and my rx is going to run out. I'm sure I could call for more, but I'm using this as my excuse to make me take care of myself. I just need to call. I could really use help to make me do it. I need someone to hound me until it's done. And to hound me to continue to go to the Dr. and push to make sure they test my hormone levels (and retest if necessary - I don't know how it works since the levels vary at different points in your cycle, and how they would account for that - especially since I'm irregular). DH just isn't very good about taking it seriously enough to force me to get the help I need. And it's so hard to believe that I deserve it.

    I also need to get DD's blood work done to retest her iron levels. If she's anemic again, that could very well be why she's nursing so much. I have the paper, I just haven't done it because the Dr. forgot to mark to test her ferritin levels also, and I haven't called yet to see if I can mark it on there or if she's going to approve that test.

    I'm such a flake.

  9. #9
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    Jan 2008
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    Orange County, CA
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    Default Re: Becoming embarrassing and annoying

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mama.p View Post
    I just need to call. I could really use help to make me do it. I need someone to hound me until it's done.
    I'm putting a reminder on my calendar to hound you about this - if you haven't done it by Wednesday next week you're in trouble missy!
    Karen

    Proud mama to
    Kaitlyn Ann 12/23/07 - 7 lbs., 15 oz.
    11/09
    Jackson Thomas 1/16/11 - 9 lbs., 3 oz.


  10. #10
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    Default Re: Becoming embarrassing and annoying

    I you! You're such a sweetie! My goal is to do it today by lunchtime (the office isn't open yet, not for another half hour I think).

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