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Thread: DH is imposing a deadline

  1. #31
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    2,476

    Default Re: DH is imposing a deadline

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sch.mommy View Post
    Tell your dh that an allergist should give allergy advice and a peditirician should give infant health advice, and a Lactation consultant should give breastfeeding advice.
    This is what I was thinking. This allergist is an allergist and I would seriously question her knowledge of infant nutrition. This isn't her area of expertise. So I would take it back to a pediatrician (a BF friendly one) and have them debunk this horrible advice.

    I don't want to pry and please feel free to tell me that it's none of my business.... But is DH uncomfortable with your breasts now in the bedroom now that you're BFing? I mentioned this thread to DH and he said it sounded to him as though your DH was just looking for any excuse to get you to stop due to his own feelings - but the one he gave didn't sound right to him. He thought it sounded as if it were more "personal" than that.

    DH and I have had some hurdles to get over in this area. The conversation wasn't easy to start or to have, but we did it. We've talked it through and are doing well now.

    Lastly, I think one of the PP had a good point when she said that she told her DH that he'd have to take over all feedings. My DH has said that he appreciates how much work I do when it comes to BFing, but also knows that it would be a lot MORE work to formula feed. Nevermind the cost!

    Oh - and for your MIL? Your DH has obviously talked to her so she's just enforcing your DH's wishes in her own wonderful way. I highly doubt that you'll be able to change her mind until you change DH's.

    You can do it Mama - you've got time to do it right.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Victoria, BC, Canada
    Posts
    940

    Default Re: DH is imposing a deadline

    I'm steaming mad over your dh's attitude. Your baby's health now and in the future is far more important than your dh's feelings. Really bad things could happen if you give your LO rice milk at 10 months. Not to mention the food allergy issues and that rice milk is not suitable for babies, but w/o breastmilk your child is at higher risk for type 1 diabetes, multiple sclerosis, chrohn's disease, childhood cancers etc etc. I hate that he has given you a 'deadine' which is against your child's best interests. Women haven't been their husband's properties for quite some time.

    I think pp gave a great suggestion which is to consult other lactation consultants, pediatricians etc. and get their opinion. At least then you'll have a team of people to stand behind you. Please tell your dh that the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for a minimum of 2 years. Too bad if he finds it weird.
    Last edited by @llli*monika.h; February 22nd, 2009 at 03:10 AM.
    Canadian mom and breastmilk fan.
    We have 2 beautiful children: Luana who's 9 y/o, had breastmilk for 2 years and is smart as a whip. Lucas who came out kickin', is 4 y/o and continues to enjoy his milkies.

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    47

    Default Re: DH is imposing a deadline

    In addition to all the other good advice you're getting here, I am wondering what would happen if you gave over the care of your son to DH for a few hours, just so he could see how much easier bf makes BOTH of your lives...(not to mention your baby...)

  4. #34
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    83

    Default Re: DH is imposing a deadline

    Thanks for all the advice. We're on vacation this week, so I haven't checked in. As far as the bedroom issues, our sex life has been pretty lacking, but it's not due to breastfeeding. DH gets up for work at 4 am and goes to bed between 8-9. Most nights, that's before the kids. He usually goes to be while I'm putting DD to bed. By the time DS goes to bed, DH is fast asleep. He's not uncomfortable touching my breasts when the opportunity arises.

    Since we don't really have any friends/family that breastfed longer than a few weeks, he hears alot of comments like "babies who get formula sleep through the night" "My baby cried all the time until I gave her formula" "We were all raised on formula and we're fine" and so on. I had a friend saying to me "Just give him one bottle. One bottle won't hurt." I wouldn't cave and I'm so glad I didn't. He could have had a very serious reaction.

    I honestly think his issue is that his family and friends are going to start making comments.

    I have to go, but I'll check in after we get back from vacation.

  5. #35
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    1,110

    Default Re: DH is imposing a deadline

    I'm BF my 2yo and I told DH I wanted to BF until she self-weaned. He wasn't very happy with the idea, especially cause I was PG with my now DD#2. So after a few "fights" I sat him down and told him how important this was for me. He understood and never bothered me again but I know he's uncomfortable with what people might say. So I told him, and I think that's why he accepted it, that we didn't have to announce it to everybody. This is our personal decision and we don't have to tell people if he didn't want to. My DD#1 wakes up crying she wants to nurse in the middle of the night even tho she's night weaned. I know that not telling people was the turning point because I hear him talking to friends about DD#1 sleeping issues and instead of saying she wakes asking to nurse, he would say something like, she wakes and wants mommy LOL

    May be if you talked about his feelings with him, telling him you don't have to tell anybody. I know it's harder with a 1 yo cause they still need to nurse very often but after a few months you can set limits and tell him you'll nurse him when you get home or in the car, etc.

    I know how hard it is, :

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