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Thread: Very worried :(

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2009

    Default Very worried :(

    Hi all,
    Just looking for some advice if anyone is able to help? I'm panicking about whats going to happen.
    My baby is 7 months, is doing ok with food and feeds 4 times in the day and once at night.
    I'm back at work at present doing a 9-5 day shift, baby goes to a childminder but refuses to take a bottle so she gets about 3oz EBM through the day, mostly off a spoon. I miss 2 feeds and dont pump at work. The baby doesnt seem to mind and has a nice big feed once Im home, then straight back to normal.
    But this week I start a night shift per week. I'm worried because of the night feed, this is normally a large feed (both sides) so I don't think taking it from a spoon is going to be any good. I have tried cups/bottles - every single one they sell, I have a lovely collection
    The childminder gives her the 3oz in little bits through the day and keeps her topped up with food so she isnt hungry.

    Does anyone have any advice on how to manage her through the night. My husband reckons he will have to bring her downstairs and give her a pot of apple puree!! I dont want her getting used to having food in the night! And I want her to BF when I come home as I will be full!

    And the health visitor is as helpful as a chocolate teapot suggesting to get her off breast in the day and onto full meals and refusing to feed at night so she sleeps, I'm thinking that I dont want her weaned this quickly and its a bit much to expect her to sleep all night.

    Also should I really be expressing while at work if its 3 feeds a week I miss? Its very hard for me to get off to express - plus I find it extremely difficult to get more than the odd drop!

    Any help would be appreciated. I am so worried about it all but I really need to do this night shift so my childcare costs are lowered.
    Thank you!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2008

    Default Re: Very worried :(

    breastmilk should really provide about 75% of baby's diet until about 12 months, so adding extra food to fill her up probably isn't a great idea Focusing on getting the breastmilk into her at daycare is probably step one. Is she eating purees or whole foods? Jarred or homemade food? If she is eating homemade purees, you could add breastmilk to those. That would be one way to increase milk intake. Also, try varying temperatures in a bottle/cup. Some babies prefer the milk warm, while others prefer it cold. Also, offering before she is actually hungry may make it more enjoyable for her. Have you tried the sippy cups that are NOT leak proof? They are messier, but much easier for baby to get the milk out. Also, frozen breastmilk can be given in a mesh feeder.

    How many solid meals is she eating right now?

    mother of 2 boys!

    Birth: 7lbs 12oz, 1 year: 22lbs 11oz
    until he self-weaned 4 days before his third birthday ... still on occasion ... and happily

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
    People need to understand that when they're deciding between breastmilk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available. ~Chele Marmet

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006

    Default Re: Very worried :(

    sort of sounds like baby is doing this:

    There are some hints at the end of the page on how to stop it

    your hubby will have to see what works for them.
    baby might even sleep all night if she knows your not around.
    It will be a big adjustment for everybody but you guys will work it out!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2009

    Default Re: Very worried :(

    Thank you for replying.

    She is eating 2 very good meals a day. She has a combination of jarred and homemade because she eats the jars of puree but is confident enough with food to chomp on solids such as lumps of potato, carrot, broccoli, cake.... so I tend to feed her the same as the family, then give her a 'pudding' of fruit puree or homemade custard etc.. and she has snacks through the day. She didnt start any solids till 6 months but just loves them!

    I have tried sippy cups, she wont have anything for me but even for the childminder she wont really take it, just spits it out or pushes the cup/bottle out with her tongue. I have never once seen her suck on a cup or teat, she doesnt seem to form a latch to anything other than breast or her thumb! Doesnt seem to make a difference what temperature, whether its EBM or formula, what it comes from. I agree she does seem to be reverse cycling with the breastfeeding. That works for us during my day shift, apparently she is not unhappy when I am away and I dont mind her cluster feeding that evening.

    I guess Im concerned because at night the feed tends to send her back off to sleep so there is that element of comfort that she would not get from a cup (or bowl of food in the early hours!!). I too wonder if she will eventually suss I am not around and just sleep through (I hope so!!!) but my night shifts are a week apart so Id have thought not often enough for her to think its not worth waking up.

    Do you think it would help just offering her water in the night or getting my husband to see to her for the next few nights to get her used to me not being there all the time. She is quite attached to me even just for comfort I'm worried she will spend the whole night crying.

    I dont have anyone really to ask advice on this sort of thing because my health visitor just wants me to get her onto solids, but she is already on too many I think and none of my friends have babies the same age!

    Thank you very much.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2009

    Default Re: Very worried :(

    Have just seen what you said about frozen milk in a mesh feeder, I will try this as she is also teething at the moment and would probably love this! Not sure it would work in the night tho, soggy bedsheets!!!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Toronto, Canada

    Default Re: Very worried :(

    If she's still nursing at night, combined with the lack of BM during the day, *I* would be inclined to continue to nurse/comfort her at night. She's already reverse cycling from the daytime seperation, so I'm thinking she needs that contact at night.

    That said, maybe have DH try here and there with EBM? Just to see if she will settle for him? I'm sure they'll work it out when they have to. One of the things I've learned from others' experiences here is that babies are amazingly adaptable, and often the things that you are dreading, end up being no problem at all.

    Mama to my little Roxie Roo, 06/11/08

    April miles for TBTTW: 63

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2009

    Default Re: Very worried :(

    Yes I agree really about feeding in the night after my shift. I dont mind anyways as I miss her during the day!

    As I only do one day and one night shift, do you think its possible she will continue to reverse cycle for the day shift on a wednesday, and then realise Im away on the sat night and sleep through/do without? That would seem pretty lucky!

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